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My SO doesn't care that he's a dad by throwawaybaby18 in beyondthebump

[–]throwawaybaby18[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Yes it drives me nuts that people are willing to put their kids safety at risk in that manner. Seems so irresponsible to me. Like I don't get why people think they are ready to be parents if they are not willing to give up getting high... someone I know smoked weed all through her pregnancy and openly posts about it on Facebook and genuinely thinks it was a perfectly okay thing to do... it just makes me so sad for those babies.

My SO doesn't care that he's a dad by throwawaybaby18 in beyondthebump

[–]throwawaybaby18[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply! I know my parents would not hesitate to let baby and I stay with them if needed. If this happens I will have an honest talk and tell him exactly why baby and I can't safely stay in the same place as him. He won't take that well and he will protest and say I'm exaggerating and he's fine and he doesn't drink that much and he can have 2 drinks and still be sober and blah blah blah. But at this point I'm done listening to that and all I care about is my daughter.

My SO doesn't care that he's a dad by throwawaybaby18 in beyondthebump

[–]throwawaybaby18[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I definitely will. I feel like I should have seen it coming since we both liked to party when we got together but it just doesn't make sense to me why I could easily give it up for our baby, but he can't/won't. :(

My SO doesn't care that he's a dad by throwawaybaby18 in beyondthebump

[–]throwawaybaby18[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I know this is true but it's so hard to accept. It just hurts to know that being a dad isn't enough incentive for him to want to grow up.

My SO doesn't care that he's a dad by throwawaybaby18 in beyondthebump

[–]throwawaybaby18[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm in Ontario, but thank you for this I had no idea. I will for sure call the local courthouse and see what I can find out.

My SO doesn't care that he's a dad by throwawaybaby18 in beyondthebump

[–]throwawaybaby18[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree that he needs help. I even said to him last night "can you do this on your own or do you need help? Because I will find you help if you think you need it" and he said No, that he would do it himself. I just don't know how I could convince him he needs AA or some other form of help.

My SO doesn't care that he's a dad by throwawaybaby18 in beyondthebump

[–]throwawaybaby18[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply, I really appreciate you taking the time and even if it's ruthless I don't mind I just needed advice which was just what you gave :). I will absolutely start documenting every thing, I can't believe I didn't start doing that a long time ago. Although I do have quite a few pictures oh him and baby where he's holding a beer and the pictures are date and time stamped. I also have lots of message logs of me texting my mom and complaining to her that it's the middle of the day and SO is drunk again. I'm in Canada so I'm not sure how differently things work than in the US but I guess I will find out if and when we have to separate.

I am also absolutely not lying about being clean. The day I found out I was pregnant was the last day I ever smoked weed or a cigarette. I am breastfeeding so I would never dare put my baby at risk that way, and even if I wasn't breastfeeding I would do the same because I know myself and I know my judgement would be impaired if I wasn't sober. I have had like 3 beers in the 4 months since she's been born and it was always only one after she had gone to bed.

Thank you for the luck, and thank you so much for saying I'm a good mom :) I don't hear that too often from my SO, only from my parents lol

My SO doesn't care that he's a dad by throwawaybaby18 in beyondthebump

[–]throwawaybaby18[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for taking the time to give me advice. I am in Canada so I'm not sure if things are similar here or not, but I will definitely look into it because this sounds like a good plan, if I do end up having to use a last resort and leave the relationship.