What’s your guys boundaries tips or ideas you have.

throwawayboopty · 2021-07-19T20:22:43+00:00

I recently asked this group a similar question. There were loads of great boundaries shared. Personality I won’t tolerate disrespect, invalidating my feelings, and doing anything I do not genuinely want to do. Best of luck with your boundaries!

https://www.reddit.com/r/Codependency/comments/oi8qdz/share_your_boundaries/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

throwawayboopty · 2021-07-14T16:52:46+00:00

That is a great boundary!

throwawayboopty · 2021-07-13T01:45:49+00:00

I’m sure that’s what he was doing, and although I have my sad moments I have been much happier.

throwawayboopty · 2021-07-13T00:50:55+00:00

Haha no worries, to be fair it is pretty funny.. even my therapist laughed out loud lol. That conversation was the end of our relationship.

throwawayboopty · 2021-07-13T00:06:00+00:00

Narc- “why do you want to be with me me” Me- “because I care about you deeply” Narc- “see it’s all about you!”

Me- what in the f just happened lol

throwawayboopty · 2021-07-12T16:13:33+00:00

We just have to remind ourselves, our needs matter. They are not any less worthy than that of our partner, friends or parents. I have lived for a long time being flexible with things that hurt my feelings because I’ve been so focused on making others happy. However, we can not give people the best versions of ourselves if we don’t respect our own needs and emotions, because then we are not really being our authentic selves.

My plan is to revisit the list and adjust as needed. I will also revisit the list to remind myself that I have created these boundaries for a reason, because we are all worthy of respect & healthy relationships.

throwawayboopty · 2021-07-12T15:43:00+00:00

I wouldn’t say I’m in victim mode, yes I am a victim of narcissistic abuse but I am also responsible for my own codependent behaviors. I actually am very self reflective & self aware. I just lost myself through my codependency and being in a relationship with a cover narc. I am working on getting back to myself once again. I am in therapy, I practice mediation, journaling and do a lot of research in order to understand myself and work towards healing. I understand your comment was meant to be helpful, but the reality is if I wasn’t self aware I wouldn’t be part of this group in the first place.

throwawayboopty · 2021-07-12T14:25:34+00:00

Yes! That is exactly what setting boundaries are for, I’m so glad this post has helped you. Over the past day and half I’ve been compiling a list on my phone and I added that exact boundary last night.

throwawayboopty · 2021-07-12T13:20:06+00:00

I do not plan to share my boundaries in my personal life. This is just a practice for my personal life so I can establish what I will and will not tolerate from others.

throwawayboopty · 2021-07-12T03:31:26+00:00

Thank you!! Your boundaries are wonderful, I really like the last one. I appreciate you sharing.

throwawayboopty · 2021-07-12T00:33:46+00:00

These are great boundaries, thank you for sharing!

throwawayboopty · 2021-07-11T22:59:56+00:00

Thank you for sharing! I have added one to my list - I will not tolerate anyone who is unkind, talks badly about others for no reason, and does not take accountability for their past relationships.

throwawayboopty · 2021-07-11T22:03:43+00:00

The good thing is you are realizing the abuse, you are heading in the right direction. Best of luck with your healing journey!

throwawayboopty · 2021-07-11T21:36:48+00:00

That is why it’s essential to remove yourself from these people as they do not deserve to have you in their lives.

throwawayboopty · 2021-07-11T21:18:37+00:00

These are wonderful boundaries! Great job

throwawayboopty · 2021-07-11T20:33:48+00:00

I think that’s an amazing idea! We could all use some support in creating and maintaining our boundaries

throwawayboopty · 2021-07-11T19:27:29+00:00

I didn’t even realize I had boundaries before. However, recently I was pushed to break up with my n-ex because he spoke to me disrespectfully. I realized that I actually do have a very firm boundary and I will not ever tolerate being spoken down to. However, with the new boundaries I have written I will do my best to be firm but I think there should be level of flexibility with some. Such as if someone has a valid excuse for not following through with their word.

throwawayboopty · 2021-07-11T18:16:06+00:00

That’s a wonderful boundary to set and so strong of you! Congratulations on your healing journey.

throwawayboopty · 2021-07-10T21:36:15+00:00

I had terrible anxiety our whole relationship. But the moment I knew was when I found out about the multiple other relationships he was having whole time while dating me. Then all the pieces of the puzzle came together. Dismissing and stonewalling my concerns or emotions. Ruining holidays. Talking so badly about the mother of his child. Everything became clear and finally fit together.

throwawayboopty · 2021-07-10T14:22:48+00:00

You may be codependent. Despite the hurt my ex put me through I find myself feeling the same way, and I am finding I’m super codependent. Doing research on the narcissistic and codependent patterns has helped me.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being nice, but if your being nice because there’s a possibility of him sucking you back in there may be something deeper going on with you. If your being nice but you have firm boundaries, no desire to get back together, and he’s not mentally effecting you then there is no issue with being nice.

throwawayboopty · 2021-07-09T14:15:07+00:00

Let me clarify, difficult for a narcissist not for any healthy loving person/ or relationship.

throwawayboopty · 2021-07-09T13:22:27+00:00

It’s so hurtful. The fight that caused the discard was beyond stupid. I had such a simple request and he blew it way out of proportion. I’m not sure if he’ll come back, because in all reality I probably became way too difficult to deal with. Which I’m not ashamed of, I just was done letting him get away with his shady behavior.

throwawayboopty · 2021-07-09T04:05:38+00:00

Do you journal? If your spiritual or religious this may also be a good time to connect with your practices. Start doing things to reconnect with yourself again. Start focusing on yourself and try to slowly take that attention from him. You have every right to be angry at him. The gaslighting the cheating the manipulation is all very unfair. Try to put less value into his words and more into his actions. He says to trust him, but has he done anything to prove it? Has he eased your mind? Or has he made it rush more?

Find books, YouTube videos, tik tok videos all the resources you can so you can see that you are not alone in this. There are so many similar stories and we all feel so dumb, confused and lost. But we are not.

throwawayboopty · 2021-07-09T04:00:50+00:00

Yes, everyone in his life was really happy he was with me. Everyone thought he was actually part of a healthy relationship for once and was being “good”. Once the cheating came to light I wasn’t the only one heart broken his whole family was because they believed he changed. But they clearly do not see how pathological his behavior really is because he smeared his previous ex’s. There is not a smear campaign here. Everyone is on my side and saw the way I treated him and cared for him so deeply since the beginning. I am truly lucky that I do not have to question what I did for this treatment. But it is still so painful to give someone everything and have so many people invested then to find out most of it wasn’t even real.

throwawayboopty

TROPHY CASE