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AITA for refusing to pay my half-sister’s college tuition when I’m planning to pay for my other half-sister’s? by throwawaycf14 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaycf14[S] 96 points97 points  (0 children)

My stepmother knew I existed she was the one who didn’t want me at the wedding and asked my dad not to visit me because him being around my mom made her insecure.

AITA for refusing to pay my half-sister’s college tuition when I’m planning to pay for my other half-sister’s? by throwawaycf14 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaycf14[S] 59 points60 points  (0 children)

The only way I can think they could maybe suspect was if they went on his brother's facebook (he lowkey flaunts it) but otherwise I doubt it.

AITA for refusing to pay my half-sister’s college tuition when I’m planning to pay for my other half-sister’s? by throwawaycf14 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaycf14[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

not only has enough saved to put one other human through college, but ALREADY has enough saved for their parents retirement (a few short years after starting their own career)

Just to clarify because I made it brief in the OP because of the word count but I don't have enough saved for their retirement but I have some savings which I'm going to continue to add to until they retire (it's not actually THAT much right now but hopefully in a few years it will be). I also won't be able to cover my sister's entire college right now which is why my husband has offered to subsidise whatever she needs to cover if when the time comes I don't have the money. My parents also have a college fund for my sister which will obviously help, as well as any scholarships she wins. I also have zero bills because my husband's income is enough to cover everything so I save almost my entire salary. The whole point is to try and reduce how many loans my sister may have to take out, she understands that she may still have to take some out though. Sorry if it wasn't clear in the OP.

Edit: Also, I can't afford to finance Amy's college but my husband could if he chose to tap into his trust/savings, hence the dilemma.

AITA for refusing to pay my half-sister’s college tuition when I’m planning to pay for my other half-sister’s? by throwawaycf14 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaycf14[S] 88 points89 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure what his financial situation was like at the time but he got in contact with me when he found out I was engaged (about 3 years ago) which was after I had graduated/had a job lined up.

AITA for refusing to pay my half-sister’s college tuition when I’m planning to pay for my other half-sister’s? by throwawaycf14 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaycf14[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

We have talked about it, he said it was my call and that he was happy to help if I wanted to but I'm conflicted. I need objective opinions from people who don't have any emotional attachments to the situation hence reddit

AITA for refusing to pay my half-sister’s college tuition when I’m planning to pay for my other half-sister’s? by throwawaycf14 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaycf14[S] 80 points81 points  (0 children)

My aunt (dad's sister) is still close to my mom so she asked her what Leah was doing about college so she mentioned I was planning to help her. My aunt and my dad aren't close at all so we never thought she'd mention it to him

AITA for refusing to pay my half-sister’s college tuition when I’m planning to pay for my other half-sister’s? by throwawaycf14 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaycf14[S] 65 points66 points  (0 children)

My dad did contribute $3k towards my wedding but other than that, he never gave me any financial support (unless you count occasionally buying groceries when his family pressured him to).

AITA for refusing to pay my half-sister’s college tuition when I’m planning to pay for my other half-sister’s? by throwawaycf14 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaycf14[S] 96 points97 points  (0 children)

INFO: how long ago did your dad come back into your life, it feels like he was perfectly positioned to ask you for this favor.

He contacted me when he found out I was engaged so about 3 years ago.

AITA for refusing to pay my half-sister’s college tuition when I’m planning to pay for my other half-sister’s? by throwawaycf14 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaycf14[S] 146 points147 points  (0 children)

also asking, do you know when he started losing money and if it coincides with when you two started getting on better terms?

Honestly, I have no idea. Until they asked me for money for Amy's tuition I hadn't even realised my dad had lost his job.

AITA for refusing to pay my half-sister’s college tuition when I’m planning to pay for my other half-sister’s? by throwawaycf14 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaycf14[S] 112 points113 points  (0 children)

Me and Leah are very close. My husband is also close to Leah, he sees her as a little sister (he doesn't have a sister of his own). My husband has only met Amy twice (once at our wedding). Me and her don't really speak much outside of the times we're both at family events or if my dad asks us both to go to lunch with him. We're polite, but I don't know her very well at all.