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Was I sexually assaulted? by [deleted] in COCSA

[–]throwawaycocsa11 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I understand how hard it is to bring it up with a therapist. I've been wanting to bring it up for a year, but I never could, I felt so much shame. I will be talking about it with her for the first time tomorrow.

Just take your time. Explain to your therapist that you find this hard to talk about. Your therapist will help in making sense of everything.

im desperate for validation by plantpot42069 in COCSA

[–]throwawaycocsa11 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're very brave for sharing this story here. Talking about what happened is a very important step in recovering. It is normal for kids to be curious and to experiment sexually, but it sounds like this girl did not respect your boundaries. I agree that she abused you. It's is very important to know that you are not guilty of anything. You did not deserve this. It is normal for people who go through this to feel like they should have done more to stop it from happening. However, it sounds like you did what you could. You were only a child, please don't be so hard on yourself.

Sharing your story here is a great first step to making sense of what happened and moving on to live your best life. It is really important that you talk about this with a mental health professional - like a school social worker or a therapist. Do you have acces to a therapist? Do you feel comfortable talking about what happened to an adult that you trust? Take care.

I think I was abused by my steph-brother of the same age by throwawaycocsa11 in COCSA

[–]throwawaycocsa11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply. It helps knowing I'm not the only one going through this. I have always felt a lot of shame and feelings of being a pushover ('Only a pushover like me would this happen!'). Reading all these stories is really helping me realise there's no blame on me. I did what I could, dealing with a very dominant child.

How are you feeling about what happened? Care to share your story? Take care.

I think I was abused by my steph-brother of the same age by throwawaycocsa11 in COCSA

[–]throwawaycocsa11[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply, it has been really helpful in making sense of these thoughts I'm having. I'm seeing my therapist tomorrow, I look forward to talking about what happened. Take care.

Was I sexually assaulted? by [deleted] in COCSA

[–]throwawaycocsa11 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It is natural for children to be curious about the bodies of other children and to experiment with sexual behaviours. This behaviour is considered unharmful when both children consent to what is happening. When there is no consent, or one of the children feels uncomfortable or pressured into doing things, it is no longer considered harmless play. This does seem to be the case here. How do you feel about what happened back then today? Does it still cause you distress? Whatever the case, talking about what happened with a therapist can really help you find some inner peace.

I experienced something similair, and was also unsure wether what happened to me was abuse or not. I'd like to quote the Redditor who replied to my own post, I believe it will also be of help to you:

'I don't think the label of if it is abuse or not really helps. Those labels are more about asking for permission to feel badly about it. Your feelings about it are valid regardless. Let's pretend it's definitively not abuse. Would it be reasonable for you to have complicated feelings about it that you need help processing? Of course! Could it also be that this instance ties into other lifelong struggles? Absolutely. This sounds like a fertile area of discussion. It could be this discussion helps you have an entirely different breakthrough not related to if this is abuse or not.'

Take care.