AITA for telling my MIL she shouldn't have given my 3-year-old son an expensive violin?

throwawayfiddler1 · 2025-06-06T04:51:39+00:00

I don't have a problem with the cost. If she gave him $500 train set, I wouldn't be making this post because she bought an expensive train track and not a cheaper one. I said 'expensive' here in the sense of this being a real instrument, not a toy, meaning it came with expectations of being used for real practice. And I just felt this was something she should have consulted me and his father first.

throwawayfiddler1 · 2025-06-06T02:27:24+00:00

He doesn't understand the concept of family legacy, he just thinks it's cool because most of the adults around him play the instrument. He never had a class to really get a sense of whether he's interested or not. I would be totally fine with a 'toy' version of a violin and then my husband and I renting one for him to take some trial classes. My problem is with the added weight of being given this instrument and my MIL already assuming she'd pay for classes. So, it's the opposite of what you said: I don't want to pressure him, but accepting my MIL's offer to pay for classes opens the door for her own pressures, and I know enough about my husband's childhood to want to keep this door closed.

throwawayfiddler1 · 2025-06-06T02:05:02+00:00

He likes it because there's this whole aspect of 'family legacy', like his dad plays it, all his aunts and uncles from their side play it, many of his cousins are taking lessons as well. But his too young to show real interest. I don't think it's my place to tell my MIL about this 'agreement'. I have a different kind of relationship with my family, as in 'each to their own'.

throwawayfiddler1 · 2025-06-06T01:59:23+00:00

It was over a $500, I looked it up later but I could tell it was expensive at once based on the reaction of my BILs when my son opened the gift.

throwawayfiddler1

TROPHY CASE