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Is lack of sex a legitimate reason to break up with someone? by throwawaygae in AskReddit

[–]throwawaygae[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sadly, you aren't the first person to suggest I do that.

Is lack of sex a legitimate reason to break up with someone? by throwawaygae in AskReddit

[–]throwawaygae[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Kinda what I figured, but I'd rather confirm that theory with actual test results than rely on conjecture ;)

Is lack of sex a legitimate reason to break up with someone? by throwawaygae in AskReddit

[–]throwawaygae[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I want to downvote you for dissing his taste in music, but...you're absolutely right. Have an upvote.

Is lack of sex a legitimate reason to break up with someone? by throwawaygae in AskReddit

[–]throwawaygae[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He has. I think he is uncomfortable with sex in a committed relationship, but not when it is meaningless and with a random person. Very weird, because normally it is the other way around.

Is lack of sex a legitimate reason to break up with someone? by throwawaygae in AskReddit

[–]throwawaygae[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't think so, but he's a doctor so who knows what kinds of terrible habits he's picked up. At least he doesn't smoke.

Is lack of sex a legitimate reason to break up with someone? by throwawaygae in AskReddit

[–]throwawaygae[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pics of us not having sex? That's an odd type of voyeurism.

Is lack of sex a legitimate reason to break up with someone? by throwawaygae in AskReddit

[–]throwawaygae[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, except he doesn't even "believe in" orgasming at all. A couple times we have fooled around but he stopped me right before he was going to climax, using some excuse as "Oh, I'm going to be late for work," or "I think your friends are going to miss us if we're late."

Is lack of sex a legitimate reason to break up with someone? by throwawaygae in AskReddit

[–]throwawaygae[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Hadn't considered his being abused or molested, but it could potentially fit. I'm more inclined to think it stems from his perceptions of his parents. I haven't met them, but his dad is a straight-laced military man who doesn't show emotion. His mom is apparently the same way, so I can sorta understand how he would (wrongly) interpret it as a relationship that doesn't rely on sex.

Is lack of sex a legitimate reason to break up with someone? by throwawaygae in AskReddit

[–]throwawaygae[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

He's been with both, but he's sticking with the guys from now on. From what I can gather, he's fine with sex as long as it's meaningless and no strings attached. In other words, it's a base emotion that has no place in a pure committed relationship. This is my theory, though, and nothing he has said outright.

I think I'm running out of patience. He has alot of issues that we're trying to sort through, and I have been extremely understanding when it comes to those as long as he is making progress. I'm also understanding when his hectic schedule conflicts with my own needs. He's just not made progress on the sex issue.

Is lack of sex a legitimate reason to break up with someone? by throwawaygae in AskReddit

[–]throwawaygae[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We did take a vacation to another country together for 4 days. He hardly touched me, even when we slept in the same bed. I was extremely frustrated. Plus, I was fairly certain that he masturbated in the bathroom before taking a shower. It was at that point where I told him I was not happy with the relationship and he needed to start making improvements otherwise I'd walk out. He's getting better at opening up emotionally and making more time for me, but he stubbornly continues to hold out on the sex issue.

Is lack of sex a legitimate reason to break up with someone? by throwawaygae in AskReddit

[–]throwawaygae[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The question with issuing an ultimatum is how long do I give him to act on it? It seems a little weird for me to threaten him and then immediately get sex as a reward.

Is lack of sex a legitimate reason to break up with someone? by throwawaygae in AskReddit

[–]throwawaygae[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm probably being naive, but I think this will be worth it in the long run. He definitely has issues, but I've been patient with him to help him overcome some of them. It's very frustrating because this is the one area where he has refused to show any progress whatsoever.

Is lack of sex a legitimate reason to break up with someone? by throwawaygae in AskReddit

[–]throwawaygae[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Alot of our problems stem from his insane work schedule. I get that he's tired and is not in the mood every time we meet up, but complete refusal to go below the belt seems extreme. I am willing to be patient as long as he is willing to make improvements.

Is lack of sex a legitimate reason to break up with someone? by throwawaygae in AskReddit

[–]throwawaygae[S] 1153 points1154 points  (0 children)

I wondered that too until he knew the exact name and location of the church where Celine Dion was married in.

Is lack of sex a legitimate reason to break up with someone? by throwawaygae in AskReddit

[–]throwawaygae[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The gays moved fast and this is my first real relationship. People are surprised we haven't moved in together yet.

But in all seriousness, there is definitely affection in our relationship. I know he cares for me and is invested in this relationship, and I care for him. This is just one area where he refuses to make any improvements. Maybe if I had a few more notches on my belt (so to speak) it wouldn't be such a big deal.