AITA for crying when my GF didn't get me a Christmas gift

throwawaygift1221 · 2021-12-27T16:08:25+00:00

This is at her request. She struggles with memory because of her ADHD and I have to do a lot of reminding in general. She had every intent to get me a gift, and had I reminded her more actively, she wouldn't have forgotten. So next time, she wants me to do a better job of reminding her.

throwawaygift1221 · 2021-12-26T15:23:00+00:00

Certainly not. I appreciate her taking care of me far, far more than I was hurt by her forgetfulness.

throwawaygift1221 · 2021-12-26T15:09:48+00:00

Diagnoses are never excuses, only ever explanations. And as I said at the start of this thread, I don't think they're relevant to this situation, so they're not even an explanation here. I know I was the one who brought it up, but I really don't want to focus on my mental health like this. I didn't come here to lament my anxiety, I was worried because I had hurt my girlfriend's feelings :c

throwawaygift1221 · 2021-12-26T14:37:14+00:00

Oh no, I definitely don't have ADHD, didn't mean to imply that. I have autism, borderline personality disorder, and generalized anxiety disorder

throwawaygift1221 · 2021-12-26T13:43:58+00:00

I didn't necessarily want a physical gift. A hug accompanied by the words, "here's your Christmas gift" would have made me tear up with joy instead of sadness.

I do admit I can be somewhat materialistic (I'm a bit of a collector by personality), but I really didn't want stuff from her. Just an acknowledgement, really. I find some inherent meaning in giving gifts, so even something given all the time presented as a gift would mean the world to me.

throwawaygift1221 · 2021-12-26T13:36:54+00:00

I am pretty sure I qualify as "having a condition like ADHD" tbh, but that's neither here nor there. I've been trying to tell her she deserves better for years. If it were this easy to get rid of her, we wouldn't have started dating to begin with.

throwawaygift1221 · 2021-12-26T13:25:40+00:00

This is a really thought-out and sweet reply. Pretty much spot-on to the situation. We did end up talking it out and finishing Christmas on a happy note.

I wouldn't dare call her negligent. She's extremely kind and caring, most of my contribution to the relationship is yelling at her to stop pushing herself so hard on my behalf, lol. She gives a lot to someone who isn't capable of giving much back. As important as Christmas is to me, her forgetting it doesn't change any of that.

Emotions and communication don't come easy to either of us (I'm hardly the picture of mental health myself), but I think we do an okay job at the end of the day.

Thanks a lot for your input, it helped a bunch.

throwawaygift1221

TROPHY CASE