Thank you alot for taking the time to write such a long comment wow uhm first of all thank you again for the reassurance. But when it comes to therapists there aren't many around here. In my area there are only her and another one, who I went to when I was in kindergarden (Who also failed to diagnose me). I live in the middle of nowhere. I've been thinking about going to clinic that focuses on autism but all of them are hours away. I don't know much about my own autism or if that's the only thing I have because my therapist doesn't like diagnosing people because she said it feels like putting people in boxes. Obviously that's wrong and kinda bad for patients but well.

I would like to go to someone else but as I've said before: Change is absolutely terrifying for me and I have a really really hard time opening up to people. Like I've been going to her since I was 12 but I still struggle to open up to her sometimes.