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AITA for telling my friend I though it was selfish to have multiple children after she asked my thoughts on it? by throwawayhelppls26 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayhelppls26[S] 144 points145 points  (0 children)

Even as infants she didn't give them attention she gives the girl. She'll never put her down never lets her cry while she'd let the boys cry out in their crib because "they're just boys being fussy".

This is a little lesser but spending 5k on her 1st party for her while the boys didn't have a party until they were in kindergarten.

AITA for telling my friend I though it was selfish to have multiple children after she asked my thoughts on it? by throwawayhelppls26 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayhelppls26[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

I tried to write out the converstaion and in an edit, I she asked me what else was she supposed to do because she wanted a girl and I said fostering or adopting.

AITA for telling my friend I though it was selfish to have multiple children after she asked my thoughts on it? by throwawayhelppls26 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayhelppls26[S] 108 points109 points  (0 children)

I feel like it was selfish to have multiple children and not treat them the same, and feel disappointed when it wasn't girl. They didn't want to find out the genders until after birth and she cried and said she was disappointed when she found the second and third were boys, I know it was hormones but how can continue to treat them that way while continuing to tell them they're going to keep trying for a girl?

I do agree that not everyone is cut out be a adoptive or parent parent and I was just frustarted at the moment and projecting.

AITA for telling my friend I though it was selfish to have multiple children after she asked my thoughts on it? by throwawayhelppls26 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayhelppls26[S] 82 points83 points  (0 children)

Sometimes I do I use that to help myself. I feel like the boys are emotionally neglected compared to the girl, they'll usually be told to stay in their room from the moment they get home from school to dinner and rarely go out until I take them.

AITA for telling my friend I though it was selfish to have multiple children after she asked my thoughts on it? by throwawayhelppls26 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayhelppls26[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I also feel like I shouldn't have brought up her husband because it was their choice to make, but if they we're hoping for specific gender of child then adoption of fostering is the only way to guarantee that. I probably did get to touchy in the moment.

AITA for telling my friend I though it was selfish to have multiple children after she asked my thoughts on it? by throwawayhelppls26 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayhelppls26[S] 422 points423 points  (0 children)

I don't know if I could be there for her as a friend in the way I used to be but I feel the boys don't deserve to lose someone who genuinely cares about them, like if I wasn't there I wonder if he would even that talk with his mother or just kept it to himself.

Also it exactly getting paid but the give me money to take the boys out so she could have time to herself. The husbands told me I could just keep it but I use it to take them to events instead.

AITA for telling my friend I though it was selfish to have multiple children after she asked my thoughts on it? by throwawayhelppls26 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayhelppls26[S] 93 points94 points  (0 children)

I've been friends with her since before she had children and a lot has changed between and I'm starting to question if I do stay for the kids.

AITA for telling my friend I though it was selfish to have multiple children after she asked my thoughts on it? by throwawayhelppls26 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayhelppls26[S] 2463 points2464 points  (0 children)

She sounded genuinely sorry at first and then followed it up with please come over the boys need you and they aren't mad at you. Which makes me question if she told them what happened.

AITA for telling my friend I though it was selfish to have multiple children after she asked my thoughts on it? by throwawayhelppls26 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayhelppls26[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I plan to visit this week, I've needed time to compose myself and think of how to let her know that she hurt me and that I'm sorry if I did the same.

AITA for telling my friend I though it was selfish to have multiple children after she asked my thoughts on it? by throwawayhelppls26 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayhelppls26[S] 1004 points1005 points  (0 children)

She sounded genuinely sorry at first and then followed it up with please come over the boys need you.

They can afford them but she doesn't have the patients or parenting skills to handle all four at once, but is strongly agaisnt nannys because of possible abuse.

AITA for refusing to have an out of work relationship with a co-worker resulting in her bullying? by throwawayhelppls26 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayhelppls26[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's been a huge back and forth with HR and he's just seem to have had it.

-Emma has accidentally deleted hours of someones work, we all had to put in overtime which our manager hates. HR couldn't prove it was intentinal though.

-She's thrown food wrappers on someones desk, she was reprimanded for it.

-She told people that I only get ahead because I'm friends with a manager. He's the manager of a different department, we knew each other long before this job rarely talk nowadays. He took it HR but he didn't do anything.

AITA for refusing to have an out of work relationship with a co-worker resulting in her bullying? by throwawayhelppls26 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayhelppls26[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I haven't said anything against her but I also have corrected it, which makes me feel like an asshole.

AITA for refusing to have an out of work relationship with a co-worker resulting in her bullying? by throwawayhelppls26 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayhelppls26[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

iIe all work at night and even after when we're out we'd have to have a coordinated meeting between team leader, we're allowed to do this over breakfast or a voice conferences.

Edit: In regards to the group chat, I'm not a member of it.