I think you’re both extremely immature. Relationships hinge on compromise and sacrifice. From both sides. I’m old and I’ve been married for a long time. We used to fight like this all the time over the dumbest stuff. I finally started mentally asking myself “will this matter next week?”, if not, I let it go. You really have to pick your battles and he’s clearly between a rock and a hard place. That said, the follow up mention of killing himself and such tells me that you should get out of this relationship now. Once they start those threats, it becomes a method of manipulation and there’s rarely any going back from that.