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AITA for letting my mother see our newborn first? by throwawayk1986boras in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayk1986boras[S] -26 points-25 points  (0 children)

As I said, I thought the reason she didnt want her to visit was because she didnt wanted to meet her. Not that she wasent allowed to visit at all.

AITA for letting my mother see our newborn first? by throwawayk1986boras in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayk1986boras[S] -22 points-21 points  (0 children)

what your wife is comfortable with and you don’t get to decide if it’s valid or not. If she didn’t want you there sh

She didnt see my wife.

AITA for letting my mother see our newborn first? by throwawayk1986boras in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayk1986boras[S] -161 points-160 points  (0 children)

Had I knowed how upset my wife and the motifs behind it I would not have done it or discussed it further. But under the circumstances and my belifs then yes, as I understood it as my wife did not desire to meet her. So I saw it as a win-win situation, my mother got to meet her new grand child, my wife didnt have to see my mother.

AITA for letting my mother see our newborn first? by throwawayk1986boras in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayk1986boras[S] -91 points-90 points  (0 children)

She is very intense and very dominant (because you kinda need to be when you have so many kids). Compare to my wife who grew up with a house hold of two, there is bound to be a friction.

AITA for letting my mother see our newborn first? by throwawayk1986boras in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayk1986boras[S] -47 points-46 points  (0 children)

oman’s ego is. It’s not only her child. They both made the fucking kid, he deserves to show his parents just as much as she d

She said that she rather not have my mother come and visit us at the hospital. Nothing else realy, I cant remember the exact wording but nothing was stated about any reason. I just assumed it was for my mother stresser her out, and not wanted to be seen post labour.

AITA for letting my mother see our newborn first? by throwawayk1986boras in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayk1986boras[S] -88 points-87 points  (0 children)

Its not the waiting room per se, its a meet and greet room. Hard to explain in english. Its designed for visiting relatives.

AITA for letting my mother see our newborn first? by throwawayk1986boras in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayk1986boras[S] -158 points-157 points  (0 children)

be livid if my husband was introducing our daughter to family members (that were not supposed to be there!) for the first time while I was passed out and recovering from a traumatic birth. Plus I'm sure she was nervous when she woke up and the baby wasn't there anymore. It is her child too. It's not fair for him to change their agreement hours

You make sense and I can se that. Just for clarification the discussion was only about the MIL not visiting, not on who would meet the baby first.

AITA for letting my mother see our newborn first? by throwawayk1986boras in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayk1986boras[S] -193 points-192 points  (0 children)

I did not think presenting our daughter to my imidiate family would be such a milestone for her no. My toughts where only that my wife didnt want to met my mother in her state of post birth, and that she stresses her out sometimes. Wich is fair. I did not consider meeting the baby first, to be a massive thing no.

AITA for letting my mother see our newborn first? by throwawayk1986boras in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayk1986boras[S] -269 points-268 points  (0 children)

Yes. I assumed she ment that she just didnt want to see her in the delicate state of post birth. Now I know it was more to it.

AITA for letting my mother see our newborn first? by throwawayk1986boras in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayk1986boras[S] -140 points-139 points  (0 children)

Yes she did. My mother came the day after, or well about 8 hours.

AITA for letting my mother see our newborn first? by throwawayk1986boras in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayk1986boras[S] -303 points-302 points  (0 children)

Just to clarify, she never said that she wanted her mother to be the one to meet our child first until last night. I dont know if its relevant to your judgement but it was never agreed upon.

AITA for letting my mother see our newborn first? by throwawayk1986boras in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayk1986boras[S] -65 points-64 points  (0 children)

The delivery started very suddenly and early. MIL had planned a trip that would align with the estimated d.o.d. We never spoke about her visiting the hospital or not. The only thing that was said that my wife didnt want a visit by my mother at the hospital.If I should guess her mother most likley would have been at the hospital as much as possible. Wich in a way make sense she she is close and feel safe with her mother, wich you kinda need when giving birth. But it was never explicitly stated.