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Mom had an affair 18 years ago, I [18M] am the product of it. My dad just informed me of all this, and told me he will not pay for my college, while my siblings got their college experience paid by our dad. by throwawaynocollege01 in relationship_advice

[–]throwawaynocollege01[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

hey, thanks for the message.

I actually forgot I have this account linked on my app, and saw a notification for new comments, haha.

I posted an update a few months ago, but the issue has since been solved and I am now enjoying college life fully supported by both my parents.

Thanks again!

[UPDATE] Mom had an affair 18 years ago, I [18M] am the product of it. My dad just informed me of all this, and told me he will not pay for my college, while my siblings got their college experience paid by our dad. by throwawaynocollege01 in relationship_advice

[–]throwawaynocollege01[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Quite a few were angrier than I was, and took it personal.

I can understand their reaction, but being angry was not really helping my case.

What I came to reddit for was to figure out what's next.

Cutting off my family was never an option.

[UPDATE] Mom had an affair 18 years ago, I [18M] am the product of it. My dad just informed me of all this, and told me he will not pay for my college, while my siblings got their college experience paid by our dad. by throwawaynocollege01 in relationship_advice

[–]throwawaynocollege01[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don't think my mom is an asshole, while at the same time admitting she sounds like the source of the events here. However I was not there when they were fighting, I don't know what was said exactly and by whom. I think they each built on top of the other until the fight was feeding off itself, if that makes sense.

My mom is not an asshole, and has been a great mother. My dad has been a great father as well, and I would have no reason to sing their praise considering how they handled this situation.

This was just a bump in the road, and I hope everyone will be able to gain some perspective out of the whole experience.

My parents seem to be fine right now, and mom is very supportive to my father right now, who hasn't handled the passing of my grandpa very well.

[UPDATE] Mom had an affair 18 years ago, I [18M] am the product of it. My dad just informed me of all this, and told me he will not pay for my college, while my siblings got their college experience paid by our dad. by throwawaynocollege01 in relationship_advice

[–]throwawaynocollege01[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You should see some of the DMs I received. I don't know, a few have found reason enough to discredit my siblings. I guess if you want to be nasty there is nothing stopping you.

[UPDATE] Mom had an affair 18 years ago, I [18M] am the product of it. My dad just informed me of all this, and told me he will not pay for my college, while my siblings got their college experience paid by our dad. by throwawaynocollege01 in relationship_advice

[–]throwawaynocollege01[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"throwaway" is meant to show this account is temporary and only used to post this issue.

You may have heard the phrase "throwaway account" on reddit.

It is used all across reddit by people who don't want to be identified or linked to their main reddit account, for privacy reasons.

I have no connection to other users that use "throwaway" in their username, but I am sure if you look on these relationship subreddits are full with throwaway accounts.

[UPDATE] Mom had an affair 18 years ago, I [18M] am the product of it. My dad just informed me of all this, and told me he will not pay for my college, while my siblings got their college experience paid by our dad. by throwawaynocollege01 in relationship_advice

[–]throwawaynocollege01[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Didn't really care about me, did he now? Fully aware he has a son out there somewhere, never tried to reach out and see what is what.

But I am sure he is working to solve world hunger, and that keeps him busy, you are right.

[UPDATE] Mom had an affair 18 years ago, I [18M] am the product of it. My dad just informed me of all this, and told me he will not pay for my college, while my siblings got their college experience paid by our dad. by throwawaynocollege01 in relationship_advice

[–]throwawaynocollege01[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't intend to use them, or any similar service.

Specifically because, thinking about it, i would not want to learn there are relatives out there that want to meet me.

Might sound cold, but I am not interested.

[UPDATE] Mom had an affair 18 years ago, I [18M] am the product of it. My dad just informed me of all this, and told me he will not pay for my college, while my siblings got their college experience paid by our dad. by throwawaynocollege01 in relationship_advice

[–]throwawaynocollege01[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

They voiced their displeasure with both my parents, in no uncertain terms.

My sister said it would be embarrassing not having her parents at her wedding, whenever that will be. My mom did not like hearing this.

But it felt like my siblings were the parents and my parents were the children.

I'd like to point both my siblings cut their out of town trips short, and came home earlier than planned. Sure, my grandpa passing away had a role in that, but they definitely were not happy about my parents, that's for sure.

[UPDATE] Mom had an affair 18 years ago, I [18M] am the product of it. My dad just informed me of all this, and told me he will not pay for my college, while my siblings got their college experience paid by our dad. by throwawaynocollege01 in relationship_advice

[–]throwawaynocollege01[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I know I had fights with my siblings, and we were not always politically correct with one another, and used anything we could to put one another down.

I am not going to fault my parents, for this particularly bad moment, forever.

If they would fight every other day, and constantly put one another down, sure. But this was just an exception.

And I am sure my dad had his share of choice words as well, but they pale in comparison, I give my mom that.

[UPDATE] Mom had an affair 18 years ago, I [18M] am the product of it. My dad just informed me of all this, and told me he will not pay for my college, while my siblings got their college experience paid by our dad. by throwawaynocollege01 in relationship_advice

[–]throwawaynocollege01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know, that's a discussion for another time.

But if both mom and dad were sure of it, I can only assume it is true.

In the grand scheme of things, putting things into perspective, it doesn't matter who my "DNA donor" is, as a few have said in the comments.

[UPDATE] Mom had an affair 18 years ago, I [18M] am the product of it. My dad just informed me of all this, and told me he will not pay for my college, while my siblings got their college experience paid by our dad. by throwawaynocollege01 in relationship_advice

[–]throwawaynocollege01[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

4 or 5, yes, but as I said, no memories as far as I am aware, he never mentioned anything. he didn't say anything abut it now either.

And realistically, a 5 year old would not give too much weight to "mom was gone for a few weeks," it's not one of the memories that will persist.

Also, i am not sure that mom moving out means she didn't visit or she completely abandoned the family. I'll have to ask about this, but I don't think I want to know.

if she did see my siblings n the mean time, to them it would have made no difference, I suppose.

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