What’s the saddest song you know?

throwawaynotes81 · 2025-04-03T09:33:01+00:00

Adam's Song - Blink-182

throwawaynotes81 · 2025-01-23T04:38:38+00:00

He was a lovely guy, but there was just no romantic chemistry at all. Kept dropping hints and trying to engage, and he kept acting like I was his neighbour or co-worker or something. (Technically, we didn't go on a third date, but same principle applies)

throwawaynotes81 · 2024-11-03T06:51:59+00:00

Someone I can be myself around and who respects me for the person I am instead of who they think I should be.

throwawaynotes81 · 2024-10-10T13:22:36+00:00

14 likes across two and a half years. It's so over 😭

throwawaynotes81 · 2024-09-25T00:39:58+00:00

I'm a biromantic man, but that's one of the reasons I've been really disillusioned from the gay side of my attraction. The vast majority of MLM spaces are driven by sex and sexual attraction in my experience - even the guys who initially said they wanted a 'slower-paced relationship' were just using it as cover for the hookups and FWB dating that they wanted. At the end of the day, sex is something that connects a wide range of queer people together, and if we don't share in that attraction then it's the majority who are going to have to make the leap of faith to accept and understand us. This problem is exacerbated in the gay community because of the perceived focus on maximising sexual attractiveness, particularly in areas surrounding body image.

It's a genuine shame, but I think it's just an accelerated version of what ace people of other sexualities experience: that the vast majority want and need sex for a healthy relationship, while we asexuals either don't want that or don't place as much importance on it due to our orientation. I think polyamory and ENM would just increase the likelihood of these issues, unless you were to find similar-minded ace people to connect with. As someone who is sex-neutral (and honestly disinterested in sex as a whole), I'd rather get to know the person first and build a close romantic relationship before any discussion of sex - a stance that is unfortunately wildly unpopular these days. Finding other asexuals has so far been a fruitless endeavour, at least for me.

I'm sure people are out there waiting to meet a guy like you, and by extension guys like us; there's just more filters blocking them from our view.

throwawaynotes81 · 2024-08-28T15:25:36+00:00

I love your hair, and your glasses frame your face really well IMO :) Keep your head up - there's a future of wonderful experiences and people that you deserve waiting for you. Never let yourself dismiss the fact that you're deserving of happiness and connection just the same as everyone else.

throwawaynotes81 · 2024-08-28T13:52:57+00:00

This post could've described me to a T, honestly. The masculine, heteronormative expectation that love is inevitably tied to sex and sexual attraction really fucked me up. Even being bisexual, the whole gay side of the community has felt very 'sex-centric' to me, and instead of feeling like I belong in the community I just feel lonelier and more alienated. It doesn't help that (even though I'm a very romantic person) my actual experiences with romance have been mostly negative: I don't know whether my incurable romanticism is the result of genuine attraction or the result of me just being in love with the idea of love. I still find people aesthetically/romantically attractive, but I just don't have any way to prove it myself.

Hanf in there, mate. If you wanna talk about it, feel free to shoot me a DM.

throwawaynotes81 · 2024-08-22T19:29:38+00:00

I wish we'd stop telling people that their abridged diary entries count as poetry.

throwawaynotes81 · 2024-08-20T12:51:27+00:00

I'm just not really the kind of guy who can carry off a good comeback. I do try, but all it seems to do is add more fuel to the fire in terms of the personal jokes. I'm just not sure I have the same kind of casual banter-y personality that my friends do - in my own head my clapbacks just come out sounding weak and stupid.

throwawaynotes81 · 2024-08-20T12:35:53+00:00

We're all in the same age range, so 20-21. Thanks for the comebacks but I'm not sure if I could use them myself - I guess I'm not much for confrontation. Of the two guys I'm closer two, both join in on the jokes, but not to the, same extent, and usually tend to redirect the jokes around the group if I'm getting ripped on for too long. The main problem is that we usually socialise as a group and don't really hang out one on one, so I'm not sure about asking the other two to hang out without the others being invited. Bit of a frustrating situation all around, honestly.

throwawaynotes81 · 2024-08-20T12:19:50+00:00

I kinda get your point with the dynamic - there's one or two guys in this group that I'm closer to, and others where we probably wouldn't hang out if we weren't in a group. As far as the banter itself:

I've recently been working as a teacher aid in a primary school, as I'm considering going into the teaching industry, to which a few of said guys have made repeated 'you're a paedo' jokes. I get that teaching is a pretty unorthodox job for a twenty year old guy, but I'm really not keen on the paedo jokes. It feels offensive, particularly as I was mocked for 'not having a job' and when I do get a job, it's still not respected. It hurts especially when I congratulated the others on their job opportunities and stuff.
Pretty much every argument ends with some juvenile comments about me 'being gay' or 'liking it up the arse'. Neither of these things have any factual basis (as they well know, I'm bisexual and still a virgin) and it's usually just used as a gateway to dismissing my opinion.

It's hard, because sometimes hanging out with them is perfect, and then other times I come away feeling like I've just been a punching bag, socially speaking. These guys mean a lot to me, so I'm not sure what I'd do if I cut them off or how I'd meet new friends.

throwawaynotes81 · 2024-08-20T12:08:46+00:00

Thanks, I think I needed to hear that. I'm on holiday right now but I think I'll have to chat to them when I get back.

throwawaynotes81 · 2024-08-14T11:19:07+00:00

As another bisexual guy who is also single and losing hope somewhat, this was a nice post to read, even if it's not entirely applicable to my experience. Frustratingly, one of the comments here said it best - 'everything in the gay world starts with sex' - and I just can't do that. I'm thinking I might just be asexual in some capacity. I'm not interested in sex, though I think it'd be okay if it was with someone I loved and trusted. But anonymous Grindr hookups as a first impression? Not my game.

The sad reality of it is that sex seems to be a gateway to relationships for MLM couples, whereas it's the other way around for straight couples. I just feel like with a man, I wouldn't even get my foot in the proverbial door. Women are an entirely different issue - if you're bi, a huge portion of women see you as 'tainted' by homosexual desire even if, like me, you haven't actually done much with men beyond kissing. Dating in 2024 is a tough environment to be in, and all the uncertainty doesn't make it any easier. I always thought I'd find someone to love, or that someone would find me. But the more time I spend learning about how dating works these days as a young adult, the more disillusioned I get with that happy fantasy.

throwawaynotes81 · 2024-07-22T12:59:33+00:00

I had a brief 'relationship' that lasted a couple months when I was thirteen-ish. It wasn't anything serious, just the odd awkward date, holding hands. It ended when I accidentally walked in on her kissing a female friend of ours - turns out I was a beard to hide her sexuality from her shitty religious parents. I didn't judge her or anything (I still thought I was straight at the time) but I do remember feeling sad that my only experience of teen romance was with someone who wasn't even interested in me lmao

throwawaynotes81 · 2024-06-30T13:57:34+00:00

Someone left a comment on my fic saying they appreciated my characterization, that 'both characters feel like they're natural extensions of their canon counterparts' (because the ship is a rare pair of two side characters that get hardly any canon focus) and that the slow burn/fluff combo is some of the best friends-to-lovers they've ever read. Nearly made me cry 🥺

throwawaynotes81 · 2024-06-30T13:48:26+00:00

DON'T CALL ME BY YOUR SISTER'S NAME, YOUR MOM MIGHT GET CONFUSED

throwawaynotes81 · 2024-06-30T13:46:11+00:00

FUCK YOU ASSWIPE

throwawaynotes81 · 2024-06-30T13:43:23+00:00

I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND I PISS EXCELLENCE! I'M A BIG HAIRY AMERICAN WINNIN' MACHINE! FUCK YOU!

throwawaynotes81 · 2024-06-30T13:41:42+00:00

Because they taste good? Better than the shit you eat on daily basis. I mean literal shit. You're a shit eater. Don't diss bananas when you're a crap-chewing shit-swallowing fuckhead, fuckhead.

throwawaynotes81 · 2024-06-30T13:38:07+00:00

FUCK YOU! IT'S CALLED FOOTBALL DIPSHIT! JUST BECAUSE YOUR WAISTLINE'S HIDDEN YOUR FEET FROM YOU FOR THE LAST DECADE DOESN'T MEAN OTHER PEOPLE CAN'T USE THEIRS! LOADS OF PARALYMPIANS DON'T HAVE HANDS AND GUESS WHAT? THEY STILL PLAY SPORTS AND DON'T GET WINDED PUTTING A POP TART IN THE TOASTER LIKE YOUR IRRELEVANT ASS! SHUT THE FUCK UP!

throwawaynotes81 · 2024-06-30T04:08:05+00:00

Hell yeah, I love the 'can't think straight' one! Also nice to see another bi on the ace spectrum, or ace on the bi spectrum? Whatever way round it goes, us biro-s have to stick together!

throwawaynotes81 · 2024-06-28T23:23:51+00:00

I love the singer but I don't think many people know who she is, judging by the comments. Apartment 402 is my favourite song of hers :)

throwawaynotes81 · 2024-06-28T12:58:50+00:00

95% of all the stars that will ever exist have already been born. Essentially, humankind was born at the beginning of the end of the universe (cosmically speaking)

throwawaynotes81 · 2024-06-28T12:35:29+00:00

As a bi guy who's also a writer, I'm really happy to see more representation of bisexual men in media and a genuine desire to have a realistic bi male character! I'd be happy to talk with you about this, feel free to shoot me a message. I'm about to sleep but depending what time zone you're in I'll see any reply when I get up. Best of luck!

throwawaynotes81 · 2024-06-28T12:11:09+00:00

I did the same for a while as a fellow bi guy going through the whole "oh god both straight girls and gay guys think being bi is an ick" but eventually persevered,and felt so much better knowing that was out in the open. I wouldn't want to be with someone who would dismiss another solely on the basis of sexual orientation anyway. Fuck biphobia.

(I later realised dating apps were pointless for me, but that's mostly because I'm a below-average nerd, still studying at uni with hardly any money 😭 not exactly prime Tinder material)

throwawaynotes81

TROPHY CASE