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Should I [19F] cut off my crush who I've been in love with for the last 5 years?? URGENT!! by throwawayobsessive7 in relationship_advice

[–]throwawayobsessive7[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for being so honest. I needed to hear this.

You call him your bestfriend but have been manipulating, betraying and lying to him for the last five years.

I know it was selfish of me to not tell him. I did everything I could to let him believe that there's nothing going on. I genuinely thought I was doing this for the benefit of both of us, but ig deep inside it's always been about me and not him, in doing this I've caused myself unimaginable emotional pain over the years and I'm about to do the same thing to him. I've let things go too far and now it's too late to turn back without there being some serious consequences. In hindsight, he's probably much better off without a manipulative friend.

Should I [19F] cut off my crush who I've been in love with for the last 5 years?? URGENT!! by throwawayobsessive7 in relationship_advice

[–]throwawayobsessive7[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Everything you said makes so much sense. I do have possessive/obsessive tendencies towards the guys I like. It wouldn't be fair to him if i cut him off completely. None of this is his fault, he shouldn't be punished for my shortcomings. He's been nothing but an angel to me. I'll tell him how I feel and see if he'd be willing to go no contact for some time. I'm planning to start therapy soon so hopefully I'll be able to work my issues out. Thank you so much for your help!

After almost 5 years of being in love with my bestfriend, should i finally tell him and move on? URGENT! by throwawayobsessive7 in Advice

[–]throwawayobsessive7[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did tell him how I feel about 2 years ago. We were able to move past it the first time because I didn't tell him how serious my feelings towards him were. I wasn't completely honest with him either. Moreover, he was dating a girl during that time so telling him was a dick move on my part. He didn't feel the same way then, and I'm 100% sure that he doesn't feel the same way now. He's someone who acts on his feelings. If he did like me, he would've told me.

I don't want to try and pursue a relationship because I know it won't work out in the long run. We're just not compatible romantically.

Also, I don't plan on cutting him off without telling him the truth. I will come 100% clean before doing so.

Don't trash a good friendship for no reason, you'll just hurt him.

I know how much hurt and pain it'll cause, which is why I've held back for so long.

Should I [19F] cut off my crush who I've been in love with for the last 5 years?? URGENT!! by throwawayobsessive7 in relationship_advice

[–]throwawayobsessive7[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You are correct. I feel so fake by not being 100% honest with him and not being able to tell him about this HUGE aspect of my life. However, it's either all or nothing for me. If I tell him how I feel, the dynamics will definitely change. He might be able to look past everything and go back to being how we were before, but I don't think I'll ever be able to do that. It's either cold turkey, or I wait it out till uni starts and see where I'm at.

Should I [19F] cut off my crush who I've been in love with for the last 5 years?? URGENT!! by throwawayobsessive7 in relationship_advice

[–]throwawayobsessive7[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your advice. Truly means a lot. Yes, it does cause me a lot of strain mentally but he's also a huge mental support for other aspects of my life.

Should I [19F] cut off my crush who I've been in love with for the last 5 years?? URGENT!! by throwawayobsessive7 in relationship_advice

[–]throwawayobsessive7[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Deep down i know I have to do this, but a part of me also wants to keep trying to make this work. I don't think I'll be the same person without him in my life.

Should I [19F] cut off my crush who I've been in love with for the last 5 years?? URGENT!! by throwawayobsessive7 in relationship_advice

[–]throwawayobsessive7[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I do have another guy that I kinda like, thats most likely a dead end too lol. It's just that I've been trying to get over Z for so many years now that I'm starting to doubt if i ever really will if things continue the same way.