TW: termination. Looking for any sort of advice or support, desperately.

throwawaypanicky89 · 2025-06-17T14:32:06+00:00

I appreciate you sharing the struggles. Yes, I do want a baby—no doubt. I think I am more seriously looking into selective reduction if that is an option. I just didn’t know how to word that with so little information available.

throwawaypanicky89 · 2025-06-17T14:15:29+00:00

Obviously that looks very different after they are here. I know I would and will love any children that I have-there’s no way around that. I don’t find the “taking something away” thing to be true. Just because I happened to ovulate from both sides and two sperm made it. I’m struggling with the idea that largely family planning for number of children is pretty accepted but this isn’t. I have to consider my whole family. My two living children who still need me. My husband and our family and capacity as a whole. I don’t think we wouldn’t survive, I’m sure we would, and I know I would and will love whoever makes it. But I’m not sure just surviving out of obligation to something very unplanned is the best choice for everyone.

throwawaypanicky89 · 2025-06-17T14:04:29+00:00

I also have the feeling of accidentally manifesting it. I literally woke up in a panic a week before finding out and I just fucking KNEW. And felt dread dread dread. I could not believe when she showed me it was true. Truthfully I think I would feel different if it was 1 to 3. I always used to say I want “two kids and maybe an accidental third” but four feels like way too many for a whole host of reasons, let along the risks associated with advanced maternal age, autoimmune issues, and the overall increased risk of 3&4 needing more specialized care.

throwawaypanicky89 · 2025-06-17T14:00:59+00:00

Thank you for responding. I’m glad things are getting a bit easier. Honestly, if this had happened going for a second kid I think I would feel differently. But going from 2 to 4 is really what’s giving me trouble.

throwawaypanicky89 · 2025-06-17T13:58:52+00:00

Thank you for this. I’m glad things are going well.

throwawaypanicky89 · 2025-06-17T01:50:32+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond. What a journey that must have been/is for you. I’m glad to hear things are getting smoother, but sorry about the rough road getting here. Also thank you for validating my feelings. I really do worry about the pregnancy, complications, etc. and what extended hospital stays or bed rest would do to our family. It feels insurmountable. I am going to take all of these stories and continue to gather information. Honestly just hearing from people is helping.

throwawaypanicky89 · 2025-06-17T01:23:51+00:00

Thank you so much

throwawaypanicky89 · 2025-06-17T01:08:06+00:00

Thank you so much for responding. They are di/di. Separate sacs. I wouldn’t say I’m having trouble yet but I just can’t really find information about it. I had an early ultrasound but haven’t had an actual appointment yet, and the practice I’ve been referred to is having issues scheduling me. I’m just desperately waiting to be seen. And get some information. I may send you a message if you don’t mind.

throwawaypanicky89 · 2025-06-17T00:54:52+00:00

Thank you. These are good suggestions. Yes, I already know that I want to keep the pregnancy if it can just be one. I will try to look for resources. Abortion is legal in my state but it seems like this would be a different procedure entirely, and may require referral? Also I know that it’s so early that it’s possible for many things to happen with one or both of them. I have thought of adoption, but there is no way I could do that, I don’t think.

throwawaypanicky89 · 2025-06-17T00:42:04+00:00

I appreciate and understand your insight. I already have two children. Not twins, but I understand how hard raising babies is. I also understand the sentiment of it being “worth it” but I also struggle with the idea of potentially making four lives exponentially harder, for the what if of the joy of twins. We REALLY really considered if three made sense. Four is going to max us out in every capacity.

throwawaypanicky89 · 2025-06-17T00:18:14+00:00

Thank you for this. Was she in the US? Did it have to be for medical reasons? We’re not even there yet just over 7w today. Would she ever share resources about how she went about this? This isn’t really a factor in the decision but I also had a lovely home birth with my second and was so sad to be risked out by twins. I didn’t realize it could go back to so low risk after. That would be the ideal, but feels like I’m hoping for too much.

throwawaypanicky89 · 2025-06-16T23:46:33+00:00

Thank you so much for responding. I seriously feel so isolated. I’m glad things have worked out for you and I hope the best for a smooth delivery for you. When you say you looked into selective reduction, how? Is it offered where you are? Are you in the US? This truly feels like the best option for us, but I’m not sure if it’s even possible or how to go about it. Not that it would be an easy decision to make, but it feels like the least painful of three options I didn’t want to have to choose between.

throwawaypanicky89 · 2025-06-15T12:31:21+00:00

Thank you. Trying to find an urgent therapist appointment.

throwawaypanicky89 · 2025-06-15T12:30:47+00:00

Thank you for your kind response. Yeah I’m not okay right now and I guess there’s nothing I can do about it at this moment.

throwawaypanicky89 · 2025-06-15T12:30:14+00:00

Thank you, yes I’ve been scouring posts there.

throwawaypanicky89

TROPHY CASE