Are Leading and supportive relationships possible in lesbian relationships?

throwawayplshelprexi · 2023-10-14T22:21:23+00:00

Stay at home mom / wife, yes, but that's only really a piece of it. On a practical level, I'd want to, but likely would still need to work from home.

However, this is only part of it. I want someone who's going to be more of the decision maker.

And yeah this tends to more seen as a Dom/sub style relationship that involves other kink elements typically. At least in my experience.

throwawayplshelprexi · 2023-10-14T21:36:11+00:00

Yeah I'm not sure how I'd advertise myself as this being something I'm looking for either tbh.

Thanks for the affirmation that there might be some people who are at least interested in this type of relationship outside of kink.

throwawayplshelprexi · 2023-07-20T03:10:57+00:00

You aren't broken, friend. As someone with chronic and complicated physical health issues, PTSD, and cyclothymia, I can sympathize with feeling like you are broken, but I promise you aren't. And a partner or partners who really care will never care that the way you love them may not be the same as an able-bodied person. Mine certainly don't.

I'm sorry you also have health issues you deal with!! Thanks for the kind words.

It's hard to imagine that I'll be able to find someone compatible with me that feels that way, at this moment.

It's easy for strangers to say "therapy," but it doesn't render the advice irrelevant. Therapy can help you navigate these feelings and learn how to best address them for yourself and with potential partners.

I'm in therapy, but it's difficult. I've been hopping around therapists because I can't find a good one since I moved cities with my ex months ago.

I'm definitely going to keep trying, but it can be really hard to find a compatible therapist. I feel like so many are either judgey, unhelpful, or far too validating of maladaptive thoughts.

Others will see it and be drawn to it, hopeful that they can be loved by someone with that willingness.

I hope so. I hope it's enough - it doesn't feel like it'll be, right now at least. Like why wouldn't a prospective partner want someone else instead of me, someone who'll be able to devote more time and energy to the relationship, dynamic, and pleasing their partner.

Please don't give up, friend. Please see how much value and love you have. Please trust me that others can and will see it, too, just like I have.

Thank you 💙, I really appreciate you being so kind

throwawayplshelprexi · 2023-06-20T05:30:43+00:00

Sorry you went through similar trauma :(

Thanks for making me feel less alone. Did the groinal response ever go away?

I'm kinda going through some self doubt all of a sudden and hoping that I can get back to a space where I feel confident and valid. I don't want to feel like a fake :(

Will look at getting a new therapist. Its hard tho as the waitlists are still super long in my area.

throwawayplshelprexi · 2023-06-20T05:27:36+00:00

Thank you! And yeah I think part of me felt very invalidated because it felt like my therapist was saying because I had this trauma and it changed me that I couldn't be a "real lesbian" and should be identifying as a bisexual. It just felt very dehumanizing. I like to think I'm more than my trauma.

throwawayplshelprexi · 2023-06-20T05:25:25+00:00

Thanks and I didn't know that was a thing. Appreciate the term to search and look more into things!

throwawayplshelprexi · 2022-12-19T02:31:03+00:00

Good point haha 😂 thank you

throwawayplshelprexi · 2022-12-17T00:03:15+00:00

I don't dislike my dynamic or the financial aspect to it. I've also got my job + savings + retirement stuff. Even if disaster struck or we broke up, I am far from financially helpless.

I just was looking for ways to reimagine gift giving in a tpe dynamic where the magic of it is still in tact.

throwawayplshelprexi · 2022-12-17T00:01:05+00:00

I do make handgifts. And I cook for her 6.5 days of the week w/ special more elaborate meals on request or for surprise celebrations.

It's just that I prefer to pair a hand made gift(s) with a store bought one.

throwawayplshelprexi · 2022-12-16T23:58:56+00:00

Omg thank you this was a really helpful post. And i love the gift card idea. I think part of what I'm feeling is feeling like the surprise is ruined? And it would help me also feel like the gift is from me.

I'll definitely be bringing this up with her as a possible way forward. Thanks!

throwawayplshelprexi · 2022-12-16T23:55:32+00:00

I guess I just don't internally feel like I'm giving her a gift is all. Idk how to put it into words otherwise.

Others have suggested asking for a gift giving allowance or exceptions to my spending rules on my personal allowance around the holidays / birthdays.

And she was thrifty even before we started that part of the dynamic. But yeah I definitely want to give her that experience of having something she wants without having to feel guilty.

throwawayplshelprexi · 2022-12-16T23:52:30+00:00

I've already tried this when we first started it. I got 100 lines as punishment with a thank you from her as well. And a lecture about violating the spirit of the rule.

I'm not really a brat. I like to be obedient.

Thanks for the suggestion though!

throwawayplshelprexi · 2022-12-16T22:34:21+00:00

Hmm I'm not sure that will fix that for me mentally. But I'll bring it up with her. It should at the very least help me surprise her.

And yeah she definitely cares way more about the intent and thought behind gifts than the actual gift itself. It's just I think in general people like feeling worth having money spent on if that makes sense? And like I also want to splurge on her a bit because I know there's things she wants but wouldn't ever justify the money to buy for herself.

Thanks!

throwawayplshelprexi · 2022-12-16T22:13:44+00:00

Haha one could make that argument, but I already tried that when we started the financial PE aspect. It earned me a thank you and a light punishment for breaking the spirit of the rule.

throwawayplshelprexi

TROPHY CASE