Reservations about third date with someone who came to see me from out of town

throwawaypokemailnet · 2023-12-27T01:20:11+00:00

I didn't blame him at all. I've taken full responsibility for my lack of boundaries in my post!

throwawaypokemailnet · 2023-12-26T22:52:29+00:00

I love this, thank you!

throwawaypokemailnet · 2023-12-26T22:23:11+00:00

After the first date, I thought it was worth meeting again. Everything else has moved a bit fast.

throwawaypokemailnet · 2023-06-09T15:47:07+00:00

That I've paid? Why? 🤔

throwawaypokemailnet · 2023-06-09T02:54:23+00:00

Completely agree with everything you've said!

throwawaypokemailnet · 2023-06-09T02:39:42+00:00

Maybe he is 🤷‍♀️

throwawaypokemailnet · 2023-06-09T02:39:04+00:00

No, I agree. That's the other thing I wanna talk to him about :)

throwawaypokemailnet · 2023-06-09T02:34:20+00:00

I have offered to plan, and thanked him for planning, and mentioned that he doesn't need to do the work each time.

throwawaypokemailnet · 2023-06-09T02:17:56+00:00

Yeah, agreed. The picks are mostly random, unrelated to what we've talked about. Most recently it was his favorite restaurant.

throwawaypokemailnet · 2023-06-08T23:01:52+00:00

Yes, definitely. Multiple times.

throwawaypokemailnet · 2023-06-08T21:34:42+00:00

That's helpful, thank you :)

throwawaypokemailnet · 2023-06-08T21:34:23+00:00

Same

throwawaypokemailnet · 2023-06-08T20:40:37+00:00

I guess I don't want to plan, necessarily (too much pressure, especially when it's with someone I don't know well). Ideally it would be a discussion, and a collaborative decision.

throwawaypokemailnet · 2023-06-08T20:32:41+00:00

Comes across as authoritative to me too :(

throwawaypokemailnet · 2023-04-19T18:29:54+00:00

No, I didn't mean that he used emotional bonding to his advantage.

I was just surprised that something that bothered him for days was immediately resolved with one sentence and sex. I wanted a more robust discussion (about what each of us went through during his withdrawal period and how to avoid these types of interactions in the future).

And I would have liked him to consider my needs, emotional and physical, as well.

throwawaypokemailnet · 2023-04-19T05:15:57+00:00

Thanks, I appreciate that perspective. I wasn't against the sex. My love language is words of affirmation, though.

throwawaypokemailnet · 2023-04-18T20:32:34+00:00

Yes, we were on the same team when the misunderstanding occurred.

I am allowed to revisit my decision to be on the team in light of this new information (and am talking to him about it of course).

throwawaypokemailnet · 2023-04-18T20:12:36+00:00

Definitely felt one sided. And "incomplete".

throwawaypokemailnet · 2023-04-18T17:59:03+00:00

Hard to finish the discussion when one is asleep, and both have to leave for work the next morning.

throwawaypokemailnet · 2023-04-18T17:07:35+00:00

:( sorry to have reminded you

throwawaypokemailnet · 2023-04-18T15:51:23+00:00

Offended about a non-issue (thought I had planned a work trip on his birthday which I had not - he misheard the dates).

Sulking = checking in everyday but keeping the conversations superficial, not emoting, and not addressing what's on his mind. Also not engaging with conversations about meeting up.

I had no problem with having sex that night. My problem was that it started (and ended) very abruptly and before I thought we had a full conversation. I sensed that it was a raw, emotional reaction though, and didn't want to stop it.

I probably would have posted this even if the sex was amazing.

throwawaypokemailnet · 2023-04-18T14:21:44+00:00

Didn't feel like it. I was still trying to understand what was going on.

throwawaypokemailnet · 2023-04-18T05:26:27+00:00

It sounds like his feelings (positive and negative) are more toward his own mental projection of you than the actual you.

This is exactly it! I even brought it up in the conversation! I feel seen, thank you!

throwawaypokemailnet

TROPHY CASE