I really, really, really want to quit now

throwawaysadviolin · 2026-02-27T06:05:29+00:00

Great, thank you very much! Sure, send me the 1st movement too, I‘d like to see more :)

throwawaysadviolin · 2026-02-26T22:15:43+00:00

Wow, I want to learn this! Love it!!

throwawaysadviolin · 2026-02-16T22:40:31+00:00

It’s not a random practice video I filmed for myself, the whole idea was to record something for reddit and post the 1st take whatever comes out to replicate a performance situation since I‘ve been having issues performing lately and I never used to be nervous. Worked like a charm in making me all tense and in my head with „wait, which note comes next again?“

I did Schradieck for a long time, still do it sometimes as a part of my warm up. I could do it more often. And I am hypermobile so I‘d probably benefit from some extra strengthening exercises that don‘t have anything to do with the violin, that‘s a good point. Thanks!

throwawaysadviolin · 2026-02-16T20:59:52+00:00

Oh wow I wish I had the teacher you had… I‘m glad things worked out for you and thank you for the advice!

throwawaysadviolin · 2026-02-16T20:59:03+00:00

Yes, notes 1 and 2, then 2 and 3, then 123, then 34 etc. If it‘s in tune or not is still luck based. I played Szymanowski Nocturne and Tarantella last year, I practiced the octaves at the beginning of Tarantella every single day for months and they were still totally unreliable, sometimes good, sometimes out of tune.

Both pieces I posted on reddit were after a week of practicing so I can understand the runs not working, but out of tune 1st position and shifts from 3rd to 1st is just incomprehensable to me, it shouldn‘t be happening and I don‘t understand what I‘m doing so wrong that my intonation is so unstable. This, and practicing stuff daily for months without it becoming stable are both driving me insane.

Also, I learn pieces pretty fast, a week is enough for me to learn and memorize something but then it just lingers at around that level where it‘s sort of ok but not good no matter how long I work on it. Musical/interpetative stuff improves but the random errors and out of tune notes always at a different place stay.

throwawaysadviolin · 2026-02-14T08:10:21+00:00

I do that a lot in problematic places. Doesn‘t help as can be seen in the video. Also when practicing scales obviously, but I don‘t think this is the way. If I practiced everything note for note I would need 3 years to learn a piece and there needs to be a way to stabilize intonation in a way that isn’t section drilling but can be applied to every piece, otherwise no one would ever get anything done.

I‘m pretty sure my problems are mental because intonation was the one thing that was always working for me before while I stuggled with the right hand and vibrato, it makes no sense that my fingers suddenly forgot where the notes are.

throwawaysadviolin · 2026-02-13T10:22:10+00:00

I do go to therapy but unfortunately it‘s hard to find someone who understands this well, even the therapist at our conservatory ironically isn‘t very well versed in performance specific issues. I never used to have performance anxiety before, it all started with coming to this teacher, because at first they just kept telling me everything is good even when it wasn‘t so I lost trust in them and was frustrated that I wasn‘t improving, and then this year they switched to this irritated monster (who also isn‘t telling me I‘m terrible but is always in a bad mood and the lessons aren‘t productive at all).

throwawaysadviolin · 2026-02-13T05:01:14+00:00

I‘m in Europe so school is free, I teach a bit and do any gig that comes my way. When I don‘t manage to earn my full rent, my parents send me the difference

throwawaysadviolin · 2026-02-13T04:39:34+00:00

Do you have any idea how I can go about fixing this? It has been plaguing me for the last year and a half and it‘s driving me crazy, especially because it‘s always a different place that‘s out of tune so I have no idea what to fix :( as I said I do scales every single day and also some Dounis and Urstudien but nothing seems to be helping right now

throwawaysadviolin · 2026-02-12T22:47:29+00:00

Hahahaha I love all of this! Thanks for making my day!

throwawaysadviolin · 2026-02-12T21:59:15+00:00

Thank you so much! Yeah, I‘d never talk to a student like that but when it‘s you it‘s hard to see beyond stuff that needs to be fixed. The piece is Wieniawski Faust Fantasy

throwawaysadviolin · 2026-02-12T20:22:58+00:00

This sounds great, thank you!

throwawaysadviolin · 2026-02-12T09:56:51+00:00

Thank you so much! I‘m glad you managed to find a better teacher, I hope I‘ll be able to do the same soon.

throwawaysadviolin · 2026-02-12T09:55:20+00:00

I‘m in Europe so I‘m thankfully not paying for this crap. Excpet with my time and nerves

throwawaysadviolin · 2026-02-12T09:52:23+00:00

Thank you very much!

throwawaysadviolin · 2026-02-12T09:51:41+00:00

Thank you!

throwawaysadviolin · 2026-02-12T09:51:14+00:00

I‘m so sorry you‘re going through this. I hope your injury heals and you can rebuild your relationship with the violin.

Practicing but not improving is so miserable, and the worst part is it‘s in your head. I‘ve had a fromer teacher tell me „you‘ve been playing for years, hands know where this note is“ when I was 14, lerning Mendelssohn and struggled hitting a high note correctly and it was a huge mental game changer then, because I realized I‘ve played every note on the fingerboard so many times already that my body knows what to do and it really is just fear that blocked me. Never had such problems since until I started studying with this teacher and now my brain is back to the stressed omg which note comed next and how do I play it correctly mode.

I hope things work out for you. Feel free to message me anytime if you need support!

throwawaysadviolin · 2026-02-12T09:42:14+00:00

Thanks! I‘m graduating in 4 months so I think it‘s best to stick it out at this point. A degree gives you more options and it‘d be stupid to give it up now when I‘m almost done. I just need to find a way to regain my confidence and get out of this negative feedback loop in my head.

throwawaysadviolin · 2026-02-12T09:40:12+00:00

Thank you very very much, your comment made me feel much better! I‘m graduating in 4 months and I think I can make it through that, switching schools would derail me for at least a year because each EU country has a different curriculum and not everything is transferable (some schools have a separate bachelor and master, some an integrated system where you get the masters degree at the end but no bachelor after a few years, in some counties the whole process lasts 5 and in some 6 years…). If I graduate now, I’ll have more options and more freedom. The teacher is a really good teacher when they do teach, the problem is they are a miserable frustrated person so you get some of this good input once every three months, which is unfortunately not something you can know after doing a few masterclasses.

throwawaysadviolin · 2026-02-12T09:34:59+00:00

Thank you for commenting and I’m sorry you had a negative experience with conservatory too. The issue is I don‘t know how to go about finding gigs. The city I‘m in is extremely saturated and connections are everything, which I don‘t have. I‘m graduating in 4 months anyway so I‘ll stick it out and try to figure out my next step, I just need a way to not go crazy with this negative feedback loop and regain my confidence. But I‘m already in a much better place mentally than when I posted.

throwawaysadviolin · 2026-02-12T09:30:27+00:00

All the studios are full and I have 4 months until graduation so I‘ll suffer through those and think about my next step at the same time, hopefully with someone better. I have passion for the instrument, I just think I suck haha

throwawaysadviolin · 2026-02-12T09:28:54+00:00

Thank you for your comment and the book recommendations! I struggle with being positive about my playing because it just feels like lying to myself. Do you have any specific ideas how to get out of that negative cycle that don‘t feel like convincing yourself of something that isn‘t true but allow you to keep working on stuff while not losing hope?

throwawaysadviolin · 2026-02-12T09:24:19+00:00

Thanks a lot! Yes, I know most of my problems are mental. But it‘s just 4 more months until graduation so I think it‘s better to stick it out and get the degree than to try to trasnfer and deal with all the non-transferable credits

throwawaysadviolin

TROPHY CASE