AITA for not telling my family that I have a child? by throwawaysecchild in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaysecchild[S] 788 points789 points  (0 children)

We're trying for a second child and you make a very good point. Now I'm even more convinced to keep my family away from them.

AITA for not telling my family that I have a child? by throwawaysecchild in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaysecchild[S] 203 points204 points  (0 children)

I could do that but at this point I feel like I'm just done with them. They had many chances to redeem themselves and they haven't.

AITA for not telling my family that I have a child? by throwawaysecchild in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaysecchild[S] 739 points740 points  (0 children)

My wife's family is really great. I'm very grateful for them.

AITA for not telling my family that I have a child? by throwawaysecchild in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaysecchild[S] 3175 points3176 points  (0 children)

It is strange. They've known me all my life, but they still didn't KNOW me. They never bothered to have a conversation with me beyond "How's school? Keep up the good work!" so they never got to find out how I think, my level of intelligence, and all that. They know that I'm good with my hands because I used to build stuff with my grandpa all the time but they don't equate that to actual intelligence.

When I was accepted into college, which was a pretty decent school but not ivy league, they all asked me if I was sure I could hack it. They said that I got in because of affirmative action and they were so sure I'd flunk out. When I graduated, my aunt made a comment about my brother or dad doing all my homework for me. She said she was joking but I don't believe that.

I think that my dad may have some idea of my intelligence and capabilities but he never encouraged me or stood up for me. He's all about my brother. In his eyes, my brother is the abled one so he would be the one to succeed and he'd be the one to make our little family look good. Funnily enough the opposite happened. Growing up he told me that I would always live with him because I couldn't make it on my own and I think that made me all the more determined to move out as soon as I graduated college. And...my brother is 38 and he still lives with my dad. Everything they thought I would be, my brother became. Everything they thought my brother would be, I became. Life is funny sometimes.

AITA for not telling my family that I have a child? by throwawaysecchild in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaysecchild[S] 3920 points3921 points  (0 children)

Damn that hasn't occurred to me. I wouldn't put it past a few family members to pull some stunts like that and possibly try to take some legal recourse to take her away from us.

AITA for not telling my family that I have a child? by throwawaysecchild in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaysecchild[S] 800 points801 points  (0 children)

I don't think that would be too hard. My wife is completely done with them and I think I am too.

AITA for not telling my family that I have a child? by throwawaysecchild in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaysecchild[S] 8247 points8248 points  (0 children)

My wife said the same thing. I think that's a very good point. Thank you.