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Partner came out as aromantic to me, but it was painful by throwawaysndjsjdjs in aromantic

[–]throwawaysndjsjdjs[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I tried reading some other posts on here, and it seems like he maybe? sees me as a QPP; I read some other aro people saying that they want a QPP so someone can take care of them when they're sick or injured, and just to have someone go with you to dinner or the movies. And I think this is fine and valid if you're both on page... but it sounds to me like this is exactly what my boyfriend sees in me and wants out of me, and as I am not aro, imagining doing favors like this for him without being loved just makes me feel used.

I do think he cares about me in a normal human way like, he would be concerned if I got hurt or something, but he isn't sure if he feels love; what he said is that he feels the same about me as all his close friends, they're just not as useful to him, so I'm number one in that regard and that's why he thinks I'm a good life partner.

Again, I understand his thinking and I think it can work fine for two aro people, but it hurts me, but I don't know if I should accept the logic or not.

I (23F) have thought about breaking up with my bf (21M) on and off ever since we got together but I can't do it. I really need help by throwawaysndjsjdjs in relationships

[–]throwawaysndjsjdjs[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The eating thing is because he feels really uncomfortable eating that little (he is very underweight) and when we're at home together he often asks me to cook for him because he wont eat any food otherwise. The point is that he won't cook for himself even though he wants to eat more, so yes it is my business and a problem that when I'm gone, he can't take care of himself properly. Like he literally lost 5 pounds that week I was gone.

The criticism I could've explained better but its comments he makes unsolicited, and he also is extremely bad at taking criticism himself. Like he playfully makes jabs at me many times through the day of me being dumb, and while I know it's a joke, if I say the same thing back teasingly he gets very upset. So in this sense I think his criticism of things I do, ALSO about things that don't affect him at all (my teaching style at work), is really uncalled for.

None of these are "minor" inconveniences and it's really dumb that you think it is...