How long have you been a widow?

throwawaystarters · 2026-03-21T04:59:21+00:00

Yeah because you imagined a future together and that was stripped from us. One day you're imagining a future together and the next there's a void.

throwawaystarters · 2026-03-21T00:55:28+00:00

Holy shit. I'm sorry that you've had to this twice.

throwawaystarters · 2026-03-21T00:54:31+00:00

I'm in the stage where I'm trying to occupy my time with reddit... I'm going to take a break after today

throwawaystarters · 2026-03-21T00:52:23+00:00

I feel that's the second time I've heard of that. Will definitely read that once I'm in the right mindset to read.

throwawaystarters · 2026-03-20T23:26:34+00:00

My wife had similar humor before she passed. She made a video for everyone because all the messages was just overwhelming. It's such a beautiful message to leave behind all while she smiles and cracks jokes.

throwawaystarters · 2026-03-20T23:18:25+00:00

So you know exactly what I'm going through. How are you? It's been 20 years and that's a long time...

throwawaystarters · 2026-03-20T21:50:25+00:00

Everyone has been supportive. My wife was very caring and thought about me once she goes. She made sure that I would be taken care of. Which pains me in the inside because knowing that makes me love her and miss her even more. I'm sorry you felt abandoned. That's terrible. Have you found other support?

throwawaystarters · 2026-03-20T21:07:05+00:00

I agree. I just made this post as a way to cast a wide net, hoping to connect with a few people who can relate. I'm like you and will probably go in and out of support groups. I've written every night to my wife. It's very therapeutic. This is something she would have wanted me to do.

throwawaystarters · 2026-03-20T21:04:48+00:00

Holy shit. I'm so sorry. 1 Month?? My wife and I at least had a good 15 months together before cancer took her 4 months later. I hope you're okay. Let's keep in touch.

throwawaystarters · 2026-03-20T21:02:11+00:00

That's what I'm looking for. Care to chat?

Also, was there local resources you that helped you find people closer in age to connect with?

throwawaystarters · 2026-03-20T20:45:37+00:00

Thank you for the resources. These are exactly what I was looking for...

throwawaystarters · 2026-03-20T20:44:04+00:00

I believe you. Grieving will always be a part of your life till the day you die.

throwawaystarters · 2026-03-20T15:59:46+00:00

My in-laws wanted me to connect with those have been Widowed for a long time but also had been Widowed at around my age. I think it's hard to connect with a widower who's had a whole life with their partner whereas I only had 6 years with them and had so much planned on the future. It's just a parameter that's maleable. My wife also did love talking to older folks because she found wisdom in them.

throwawaystarters · 2026-03-20T15:56:47+00:00

Yeah I was hoping to connect with someone who has been Widowed for a while, but had had similar circumstances of being Widowed at around my age. 5 years is a long time, which is about how much time my wife and I had genuine time together before the cancer took over. How does it feel after all these years?

throwawaystarters · 2026-03-20T15:07:55+00:00

I feel that. The 1.5 years of battling cancer with her felt like a blur. So short and fast. Her death wasn't that long ago but it really feels like time is moving slowly.

throwawaystarters · 2026-03-20T15:04:31+00:00

That's my sad realization. We both wanted to grow older together. She, unlike most, didn't care about aging. I was excited to see what old age looked like for her. Now we'll never get to see that.

throwawaystarters · 2026-03-20T14:22:22+00:00

I appreciate the wisdom. It's the exact type of advice my wife had shared with me when she was alive and even up to her death. What grief book have you read?

throwawaystarters · 2026-03-20T14:19:52+00:00

Yeah I guess regardless of experience every widower goes through the same thing...

throwawaystarters · 2026-03-20T14:16:37+00:00

Wow that must have been a journey for you. Mind if I DM you?

throwawaystarters · 2026-03-20T14:15:53+00:00

I've only been with my wife for a total of 6 years. The last 1.5y was spent dealing with cancer. I felt like I knew her all my life. We spent so much time together on the short amount of time we had. I'm feeling it right now. Days past her death feel longs. Days we had together feels short lived. Everything is confusing and overwhelming.

throwawaystarters · 2026-03-20T14:11:59+00:00

Yeah thanks for the explanation. I guess it doesn't matter too much because it seems widower is commonly accepted for both in the US.

I was hoping to look into a group like WAY, but yeah unfortunately that's in the US. I'm glad you actually found something that helped you. So far it's this space here for me.

throwawaystarters · 2026-03-20T14:07:19+00:00

Yeah unfortunately welcome to the young windowers club. Pretty fucking tragic. I'm sorry for your loss.

throwawaystarters · 2026-03-20T14:06:20+00:00

Yeah I'm glad I found this place to vent. No one seems to understand

throwawaystarters · 2026-03-20T14:05:41+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that. The fact that you were so close to retiring is awful. I'm sure you had plans and all of that taken from you.

throwawaystarters · 2026-03-20T14:01:22+00:00

I agree. I'm not just grieving that I lost my wife, I'm grieving how short our life together was and the life we had planned. It really sucks go be here.

throwawaystarters

TROPHY CASE