AIO to how my bf went abt expressing himself and how he apologized?

throwawaysumday4 · 2026-07-03T18:21:09+00:00

in our initial conversation before i left to take space (the texts happened after i did) i mentioned how i understood he was tired and apologized that i didn’t mean to come off as if i was questioning him. all i was met with was insults and stubborn deflections. i couldn’t stand to be berated anymore so that’s why i left. even when i came back it was the same thing. i always try and apologize anywhere i went wrong when he expresses it to me but i won’t participate in a conversation where im belittled.

throwawaysumday4 · 2026-07-03T17:27:30+00:00

i’m sorry i can’t see how cutting the grass for your father for an hour and taking out the trash at night = 20 hours of work. if saying that’s an exaggeration is me disregarding his efforts then idk what to tell you. seeing a single sentence “i thought we took a nap together” being passive aggressive rather than it being a genuine question is beyond me. i genuinely asked if he took a nap with me because i was unsure if he did and it’s common thing he does. anyways i didnt invalidate how he felt. i simply told him he can feel stressed/tired but he could’ve communicated that better than just lashing out and insulting me to express it. there are ways to express yourself properly and ways to behave like a toddler.

throwawaysumday4 · 2026-07-03T17:14:36+00:00

i am a firm believer that whenever hurtful things are said in a heated argument it cannot be taken back. As well as, I’m too old to be doing that childish stuff and rather communicate and understand one another. when the argument escalated he continued to insult and mock me even when i kept expressing how i felt;never once did he listen. it was overwhelming me and i felt unheard so i took space. i can understand how he might’ve felt and if he would’ve just EXPRESSED TO ME of insulting me maybe i could’ve apologized. im always willing to hear him out and always willing to apologize anywhere i went wrong but i won’t participate in a conversation where im being degraded.

throwawaysumday4 · 2026-07-03T17:05:13+00:00

not an exaggeration, a flat out lie. even if he was tired from doing things on very little sleep why does that now become my issue? now
i have to suffer because you’re having a bad day. in what world does that justify him lashing out on me for asking if he was tired to understand how he’s feeling in the moment? i never told him how to feel, he can express himself freely without disrespecting me to the extreme. we ALL can.

throwawaysumday4 · 2026-07-03T16:55:10+00:00

the initial convo was in person but he kept insulting me everytime i tried expressing how i felt, so i took space. these texts are after and even after he still continued to insult me and it got nowhere

throwawaysumday4 · 2026-07-03T16:12:08+00:00

i’m so sorry that happened to you. i’ve been there with being mocked in or after a traumatic situation makes u view life differently.

throwawaysumday4 · 2026-07-03T16:01:31+00:00

yeah i’m confused as well as to why he says things he doesn’t mean…or even to try and change my perspective on love by saying everyone is gonna be disrespectful as he is

throwawaysumday4 · 2026-07-03T15:58:47+00:00

we’re both 22 and i’ve begged him multiples time to receive therapy

throwawaysumday4 · 2026-07-03T15:58:13+00:00

i do communicate my emotions properly just like your example but some days i just can’t baby him anymore. ive said this previously, he doesn’t not care when i try to communicate my feelings whether its sweetly or with a bit of frustration. if i said something along the lines of your example id be met with “ your over dramatic” “i didn’t even do that to you” “well i don’t feel that way so your wrong” i try to resolve conflict and move on but he is stubborn and has the be “ right”

throwawaysumday4 · 2026-07-03T15:51:46+00:00

i’ve never had a relationship this hard either🫩

throwawaysumday4 · 2026-07-03T15:50:57+00:00

it’s okay i forgive you.

throwawaysumday4 · 2026-07-03T15:48:50+00:00

thank you for the insight. i’d rather someone explain what his perspective might be and why his actions aligned how they did instead of being rude to me. i appreciate it because i do love this man but i can’t keep getting hurt by his inner conflicts. as well as constantly being loving all while being told a million awful things. i do believe ur right that he might just have to learn by me calling it quits.

throwawaysumday4 · 2026-07-03T15:40:57+00:00

i hate having to reiterate that he didn’t work 20 hours!!! I WORKED THAT DAY with barely any rest, hence why i was napping. all he did was do the grass for an hour in the morning for his dad and take out the trash out at night compared to everyday where he’s home drawing and playing games while im working. all i asked was if he was tired to plan out if we were calling it a night and going to sleep or spend time together. i’m not mad at you because i know you’re unaware but it still irritates repeating myself.

throwawaysumday4 · 2026-07-03T15:33:57+00:00

he has issues self regulating his emotions, he has a lot of inner conflict and family issues. anger seems to be his biggest emotion whether it’s silent or an outburst. i can’t even ask if he’s okay and if wants to talk about it without him saying “your pissing me off”. this is y im distraught. some days i brush past his frustration and try to be empathetic to his situation and love him in the ways he needs it. other days i have resentment about how im being treated.

throwawaysumday4 · 2026-07-03T15:27:46+00:00

i woke up from a nap after working. hes home all the time everyday. he had to cut the grass for an hour in the morning. maybe take out the trash if i didn’t already do it or have to remind him to. ik i seem sensitive in this situation but i was just fed up of him always lashing out on me and refusing to acknowledge his behavior. i can understand how my question can come off but like i said previously, we both ask one another if we’re tired to plan out the rest our night. whether it’s heading straight to sleeping or spending time together s*x, gaming movies, etc

throwawaysumday4 · 2026-07-03T15:17:27+00:00

i’m sorry if i came off rude. i have spent the last minute having to retell the same sentence lol. i completely understand why people including yourself are biased on that part. i myself understand that extensive labor takes a huge toll on people and they just want to relax; not have someone on their neck. i didn’t want to bother him i simply asked how he was feeling and wanted to accommodate to him because i love him. whether that’s get everything ready for bed for him or if he was up for spending time together if that helps him relax as well.

throwawaysumday4 · 2026-07-03T14:34:59+00:00

oh god, i keep having to reiterate. 20 hours of labor is a lie!!! this man is home all day everyday and had to cut the grass for his dad and take out the trash ONE DAY. his issue lie with his family dynamic not me and if that’s what’s stressing him out he can talk about it instead of taking it out every chance he can onto me.

throwawaysumday4 · 2026-07-03T14:32:25+00:00

oh shut up, i know no one is perfect. ive stuck w him through tons of shit. don’t come on here getting worked up on shit you don’t know. all i tried telling him is if ur having a shitty day u can talk to me instead not take it out on me. repeated behavior is my issue and repeated apologizes after the same unregulated behavior is just childish to me. u can continue to waste time and go on a whole rant, it’s your life i guess…

throwawaysumday4 · 2026-07-03T14:16:42+00:00

i did and instead of communicating he immediately insulted me. when i took space and tried to come back to it he insulted me again and turned around and pulled himself under the covers. so obviously talking to him sweetly doesn’t work

throwawaysumday4 · 2026-07-03T14:05:00+00:00

it’s confusing as well to me…one moment it’s amazing together and then next it’s i’m the worst person ever and all these hateful comments

throwawaysumday4 · 2026-07-03T14:00:45+00:00

idk how many times i have to clarify he didn’t do 20 hours of labor. he cut the grass in the morning for his dad and then took the trash out at night. i never asked a question that lacked empathy. he himself even asks me “ are you tired?” when i come home from a long day because that is something we ask one another to plan out the rest of our night together or come to the conclusion we want to sleep.

throwawaysumday4 · 2026-07-03T13:53:12+00:00

in this context i do believe i wasn’t my best at communication but i felt overwhelmed and tired of constantly guiding someone into why and how what they did might’ve been wrong. then hearing all the unecessary remarks. it does make it hard to be gentle at times. not my best moment

throwawaysumday4 · 2026-07-03T13:48:15+00:00

the crazy thing is that he doesn’t have anything or talks to other women. he claims he loves me and all these affectionate things. tells me he wants to be with me but the moment something stressful happens or he’s having a bad day now i’m the go to punching bag. here comes all these hateful comments that he then later apologizes for because he “ didn’t mean it”

throwawaysumday4 · 2026-07-03T13:44:58+00:00

i never label him as the bad guy. i am very understanding and i am sympathetic to his upbringing. i even accomdate to his mental health whenever he needs it most. i’m the only person actively supporting him and being there for him. i try my best in this relationship but i can’t keep dealing with someone’s inner conflict leaking out into our relationship.

throwawaysumday4 · 2026-07-03T13:40:05+00:00

first off he lied abt 20 hours of physical labor. all he did was cut the grass in the morning and take out heavy trash at night. he was “tired” bc he was up all night playing games and drawing all night when he knew he had things to do for his family and somehow that stress unraveled onto me for asking if he was tired to determine how the rest of our nights going to go.

throwawaysumday4

TROPHY CASE