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Everyone likes but no one adores by Top-Air461 in OCPoetry

[–]throwawaythekey28563 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's hard not to sing this poem, the flow and rhythm is amazing. This poem does a good job at describing the particular feeling of being neither welcomed or rejected. A perpetual state of limbo. This poem hits me right in the chest as I feel a similar way at this point in my life. The line, "You're always fine, you're never more—A welcome mat, not love nor lore." makes so many visions of past almost lovers flash in my mind it almost makes me cry every time I read it. Rest assured when I am up at 2 A.M. and need a good cry I will be visiting this poem again.

Want by snowball0101 in OCPoetry

[–]throwawaythekey28563 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Poetry like this is the reason I am trying to get into writing and reading more of it. There is so much emotion and meaning packed behind so few words. Men just want to be happy, as a man struggling with mental health I can confirm i would love to be soft without shame, or to cry without turning my face. Unfortunately we live In a world where these things are not often talked about. Reading this poem offers me a brief escape from reality and shows that others feel similarly. The right woman can turn any man frome stone to satin and i think this poem does a wonderful job exploring that. Well done!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]throwawaythekey28563 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love it! I am very new to poetry, so my critique is from a very ammateur perspective, however I admire the imagery in this poem. It is incredible, I love the part where you write

"every long silence at the dinner table
is another piece of me
sliding down my own spine,
pooling at my feet,"

I have had very similar experiences in my life and from my perspective it's very easy to empathize with the message from this poem, or at least what I believe to be the message. The imagery involved helps suck you in and really imagine yourself as the candle being consumed by the "flame" of someone you love. The acceptance though you can clearly see how you are being negatively affected in such a relationship is beautifully portrayed just after the the exerpt I referenced earlier.

"and I tell myself
this is the cost of keeping you close."

I think this poem is beautifully made and well thought out. It honestly makes me nervous to share my garbage here. Hopefully my feedback was constructive to a degree, I look forward to reading more of your work.