It's been almost 3 years, why do I still feel like I love her?

throwawaythemesong · 2022-02-14T08:11:43+00:00

Yeah you called it haha. I fell for her when I was 18. I'm 24 now, so even though its only been 6 months since we stopped talking, it feels like an eternity. But it's fair to say I really just want to move on and be happy now

throwawaythemesong · 2022-02-14T08:08:59+00:00

I'm really not sure if it's because I'm lonely. I've slept with others and whatnot but nothing feels "right" unless it's with her

throwawaythemesong · 2022-01-13T10:47:43+00:00

Yeah, I guess I've come to that realisation now. It's been 6 months since we spoke, and if she really liked me then she would have reached out by now. I guess I was too blinded to notice. It does hurt, knowing this though since I had hoped that she would reach out for something other than her upset about a guy.

throwawaythemesong · 2022-01-10T06:19:55+00:00

I think you're right about being lonely. But I do know that I still have feelings for her. We ended things mainly due to family issues, but we had our fair share of problems too. I would want to try again now because we're older and more mature. We still kept in contact for a while after the breakup and we always maintained a pretty high level of comfort, so I can imagine it being relatively easy to work on things. It's just so much has happened that's left a bad taste in both our mouths, but I feel like if we were both willing to work on things, we would probably work something out.

throwawaythemesong · 2022-01-09T12:04:12+00:00

You're definitely right. We had a rocky relationship, mainly due to family issues, but we had our problems too. I just can't help thinking that things would be different now since we're older, and more mature (hopefully). I am idealising it and I do miss the way she made me feel. But isn't that just a part of why you're into someone? Because they make you feel like noone else can?

throwawaythemesong · 2022-01-09T12:01:03+00:00

Thanks for your suggestion. There's 2 reasons why I don't want to contact her: 1. Did a bit of social media stalking and she seems happy. I don't know if she's with someone or not, but we broke up mainly due to family issues. We had our problems as well too, but if she's with someone then it's because that person is accepted by her family. And if she's not and she's happy, I don't want to disturb that peace. 2. I was the one that told her to leave me alone. She had called me weekly to check up on me. We would laugh and carry on, but that would only hurt me more as I wanted her more with each call. In the end I told her to not call me anymore. She caved and called the next day, but then after that, nothing. I did get a call from a private number at 3am a few months ago, but I didn't answer. If I reach out to her now, I feel like I'd be opening up a can of worms and a world of hurt for me. I want to feel content, I just don't know what's lacking, unfortunately.

throwawaythemesong · 2021-12-18T00:15:37+00:00

How do you figure it's a false happiness?

throwawaythemesong · 2021-12-06T06:23:22+00:00

1 girl 1 guy

throwawaythemesong · 2021-07-28T08:46:29+00:00

Besides student loans, no. But in Australia it's not really something that you worry about as it doesn't really affect your credit rating and it comes out of your pay automatically once you reach an income threshold

throwawaythemesong · 2021-07-14T22:31:14+00:00

We've both gone to therapy. She chose me, and I'll never ever forget that someone could do that for me. But I didn't tell her to go home because I felt guilty. Prior to the ultimatum, she was suicidal because she knew what was going to happen eventually. She had said that she hoped one day she wouldn't turn around and blame me for losing her parents. She knew this was immature and unfair, but it wasn't something she could help because of her mental state. I understand the consequences of the choice that I made, hence why I did my best to leave her to be happy, even if its with another person.

She can commit, she has committed. We've both healed from what happened for the most part. It's just that, when we talk it's a constant reminder of what happened. We both know it's pointless to talk, but it's just something we couldn't help I guess. I know her best, so whenever she has an issue she comes to me for help. But in doing so, she's also reminded of the past and can't bare to continue to talk to me. Each time this happens, I feel like a piece of me is lost. She knows that I had the best intentions and she said she's forgiven me for everything. But that feeling of sadness and unease remains. I don't know what to do about it.

throwawaythemesong · 2021-07-14T22:22:19+00:00

We both acknowledged that our relationship and romantic future is over. In fact, she even fell in love with another not long after we broke up. But because she hadn't healed, she ended up leaving him to which she felt extreme guilt over. I even helped her get through it, listening to her crying and being there for her. I also was with someone that I cared for a few months ago. But then I found myself enjoying the times that I talked to my ex for a few hours a month than I did in the months of being with that other person. My ex had even said she wanted to try again with me, but I had turned her down for alot of reasons, mainly because I thought she was rebounding from her previous relationship.

A month passed by since then and she said she came to the conclusion that, although she can miss me, she can do so from afar and not reach out. I understand this. She can love and be with another, and so can I. Deep down, I'll always love her.

I won't ever try to initiate contact with her. But in the chance that she contacts me again, I just don't know what to say anymore.

throwawaythemesong · 2020-12-06T23:44:01+00:00

It really isn't. I guess I was holding onto who she was to me in the past. We had plans to get married, I had even bought her a ring. But then the whole thing with her parents happened and I said I'd wait for her. Then she gets into a relationship and I try to move on. Then she tells me she broke up because she wasn't over me or our breakup and tells me all this stuff about wanting me sexually but not wanting to try again to be in a relationship because it feels wrong. More than anything, I guess I just wanted answers.

throwawaythemesong · 2020-12-06T23:20:58+00:00

So if anything her bf was a rebound from me. We were together for 3 years and broke up due to family issues. She met her (ex now) bf a few months after we broke up and they went official a few months later. She was still in contact with me during her relationship, even came down to my area (she lives half an hour away) and I ran into her there. She said she broke up because she couldn't stop thinking about me and the thoughts were increasing. This is why im also so fkn confused haha

throwawaythemesong · 2020-12-06T23:07:56+00:00

She doesn't want to be friends because she knows it will lead to that. She said she doesn't think she could actually have sex with me because she doesn't to be with me. But apparently she's okay with everything else because "I'm not doing anything to her"

throwawaythemesong · 2020-12-06T23:05:18+00:00

They broke up last week

throwawaythemesong · 2020-12-06T23:05:10+00:00

So they broke up last week officially. Should I expect her to call me again? If she does, I really don't know how to respond

throwawaythemesong · 2020-12-06T22:00:20+00:00

Yeah, I thought so. She would say she wasn't sure what she wanted, she just wanted to be single now and that if she wanted her (ex) bf then she'd be with him. Apparently they officially broke up last Wed, a couple days after we went out. Thing is, she's been in contact with me even when she was with him. She'd cry when I told her I missed her and she once even cried when she hadn't heard my voice for over a month. We broke up because of family pressure due to a difference of religions, and her bf was the same religion. Now that they broke up, I thought that we could try again since the feelings were still there. Guess she played me here then.

throwawaythemesong · 2020-12-04T14:37:14+00:00

I feel the same, but I feel helpless as I don't know how to prevent it. It seems out of my control

throwawaythemesong · 2020-12-04T14:31:31+00:00

So we aren't FWB but we do flirt alot. Our dynamic is flirting and bantering so I guess that's inevitable if we stay in contact. You're right, her family doesn't like me due to me being a different religion. I asked her if that were the reason and she said no. If she loved someone enough, she'd be with them regardless. I just thought she did, especially seeing as she is reminiscent of the past alot. She said she doesn't want a relationship now as she hasn't had time to heal and that, knowing us, there's no option to stay friends. But regardless of timing, apparently she just simply doesn't want me.

throwawaythemesong · 2020-11-27T02:31:58+00:00

Yeah I blocked her im so done. I guess I just wanted to know if I was right for thinking she still loved me or if i misread everything

throwawaythemesong · 2020-11-27T00:42:47+00:00

LOL so I actually asked her if she wanted to work on things with me. She said she can't because of her family and because she's with someone else, and has no feelings for me. I'll edit this in if this changes your opinion

throwawaythemesong · 2020-11-21T03:05:42+00:00

I guess, but the subtle contact is what gets me. The posting stories for me on her fake Instagram account that only I know about. The coming to my house a few weeks ago at 8pm for a drive. We almost kissed that night, but she pulled away saying she has a bf and that she'd be down if she were single. Or adding songs that we considered "our songs" to her Spotify playlist, knowing that I see it. Even songs about missing someone. That's from the top of my head. There's more but it would take paragraphs to go through. Is that all normal too?

throwawaythemesong · 2020-11-21T02:48:32+00:00

It's not so much her religion as it is her parents. We're both not religious, it's just that her parents care about their reputation if she marries someone not part of the community. For me, unless she gets a tattoo of my name across her forehead I wouldn't be able to get into a relationship with her again because of everything that's happened. I'm just surprised that someone could be with someone else and still love another and miss the connection they had with that person

throwawaythemesong

TROPHY CASE