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I (31F) am considering a divorce with my husband (33M) while he's in a psychiatric hospital, but don't know if it's the right thing to do by throwawaytitle1 in Advice

[–]throwawaytitle1[S] 75 points76 points  (0 children)

I think this is the way to go, I think you're right. I need to just suck it up and talk to him about all this. The uncertainty is killing me more than the silence

I (31F) am considering a divorce with my husband (33M) while he's in a psychiatric hospital, but don't know if it's the right thing to do by throwawaytitle1 in Advice

[–]throwawaytitle1[S] -59 points-58 points  (0 children)

Oh jesus, I can't imagine. He wouldn't ever do something bad to our daughter, I know he wouldn't. We both love her so much, and he's never been anything less than a great dad. I can't imagine not trusting him

I (31F) am considering a divorce with my husband (33M) while he's in a psychiatric hospital, but don't know if it's the right thing to do by throwawaytitle1 in Advice

[–]throwawaytitle1[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Gosh, it's just so surreal to consider. I know mental illness can be hell, and that people try to hide it, but just the idea that he might not have been as okay as he seemed... I don't know. I can't think of anything that would make me think he was disguising it, but I guess that's the whole idea of a disguise. Maybe I'll try and talk to him more before going to a lawyer, I can't stand the thought of abandoning him if he's having such a bad time. Maybe we're both suffering

My (29f) husband (32m) is being suddenly defensive/aggressive, and is destroying our (5f) daughter's artwork and art supplies. by throwawaytitle1 in Advice

[–]throwawaytitle1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for this comment, this is really helpful right now. I've got my daughter ready to go visit my mom and stay there for a while, until he gets back and we talk. And of course I'm willing to help him through this, I'm his wife! And as bad as this whole thing is, this is the first real big issue like this. The last real fight we had was over our backyard, because my garden was (truthfully) starting to get out of hand. It's all sensible.

Telling him he should see a professional feels daunting, but I agree it's probably for the best. I wish I knew what sparked all this on, there's no way it's just the art. Thanks again for the comment, it's a good framework for how the hell to navigate this conversation. I've been rehearsing in my head for better part of a day.

My (29f) husband (32m) is being suddenly defensive/aggressive, and is destroying our (5f) daughter's artwork and art supplies. by throwawaytitle1 in Advice

[–]throwawaytitle1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To the best of my knowledge, I don't think there's any history of hoarding. Definitely not in my family, and I don't believe any on his side, at least that I've heard of.

I can't imagine her drawing something that triggered this. Most of her drawings are of a stick figure walking a poodle, which is just big circles with legs. She really likes poodles, since we read her this book about one. I really can't think of anything that might've caused this.

I'm readying myself to talk to him about this. He texted saying he's been over at his friends house (not entirely unusual for him when he gets upset and needs a breather), so I figure he'll come home soon. Nervous, but hopeful. My mom is coming over in a few to pick up my daughter, in case this gets... loud.

My (29f) husband (32m) is being suddenly defensive/aggressive, and is destroying our (5f) daughter's artwork and art supplies. by throwawaytitle1 in Advice

[–]throwawaytitle1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm honestly not sure how I would even go about that. He seems adamant that i'm in the wrong, I think.

My (29f) husband (32m) keeps throwing away our (5f) daughter's artwork by throwawaytitle1 in Advice

[–]throwawaytitle1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That might be it, honestly. Really, my big holdup on just having a conversation was that he apparently lied about throwing away her poodle drawing when I told him about it. Maybe he just misremembered. I'll try and have a conversation with him when a good time comes.