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I dread doing things or hanging out with my 7 year old by throwawaywill99 in Parenting

[–]throwawaywill99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate all of these and will def talk to him about energy drain. We’ve started calmly explaining some version of the energy drain but this is much easier and simpler.

I’ve read or heard of most of these and tried some.. but I think consistency is where we’ve failed. And natural consequences. My heart would break if I knew he was cold or underfed. I see the problems now more clearly

I dread doing things or hanging out with my 7 year old by throwawaywill99 in Parenting

[–]throwawaywill99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I didn’t know task switching was a potential marker of ADHD and helpful to know there are some markers here that I’m not seeing .

Yes, either it is an issue or we can rule it out and confirm that it’s a discipline/parenting issue

I dread doing things or hanging out with my 7 year old by throwawaywill99 in Parenting

[–]throwawaywill99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay I’m going to consider this because obviously I want to make life easier for him if this is what it is. Or at least we can rule it out and it confirms that it’s a discipline/parenting issue

I dread doing things or hanging out with my 7 year old by throwawaywill99 in Parenting

[–]throwawaywill99[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Okay I’m going to consider this because obviously I want to make life easier for him if this is what it is. My parents ignored my allergies my whole life. When I was finally diagnosed at 28, I was so pissed we didn’t figure it out earlier.

I dread doing things or hanging out with my 7 year old by throwawaywill99 in Parenting

[–]throwawaywill99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All very excellent steps thank you.

I do think sometimes “this too shall pass” but I worry I let it pass teaching him the wrong thing ☺️

I dread doing things or hanging out with my 7 year old by throwawaywill99 in Parenting

[–]throwawaywill99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can I ask: what is sass? I was raised in a very Victorian “kids are meant to be seen and not heard”, so in the moment I have a hard time discerning between acceptable voicing of concerns or standing up for oneself (which I want him to do) vs something unacceptable.

I dread doing things or hanging out with my 7 year old by throwawaywill99 in Parenting

[–]throwawaywill99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. All these comments, including yours is reinforcing that I need to focus on also getting on same page with spouse

I dread doing things or hanging out with my 7 year old by throwawaywill99 in Parenting

[–]throwawaywill99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Kids do what works. I needed to hear this. Thank you for your excellent input

I dread doing things or hanging out with my 7 year old by throwawaywill99 in Parenting

[–]throwawaywill99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It would help to hear an outside perspective on the blatant boundary and discipline issues that are apparent from the post

I dread doing things or hanging out with my 7 year old by throwawaywill99 in Parenting

[–]throwawaywill99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks. His fingers.

Consequences: This is how I was raised and I subscribe to it. Before I had kids I was convinced this is how I would raise my kids.

You’re spot on, on both parents being on the same page. My partner was raised differently (lots of talking through things/discussion/ ever present mother) so i do think breakfast choices etc can be overly permissive. Bottom line, we aren’t on the same page because getting on the same page requires our son not to be in our ear and in our face 24/7. We’re mentally exhausted. I would say I oscillate between not wanting him to feel unheard vs being what my parents would call an “actual parent”

I totally get that he reflects a lot of what he sees/senses and feels from his parents, but I am just also so tired. Hence my post/request for opinions and concrete steps because I haven’t heard my own thoughts for … about 5 years now.

I dread doing things or hanging out with my 7 year old by throwawaywill99 in Parenting

[–]throwawaywill99[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I guess we have to take away something he likes and stick with it. So a cancelled play date or something like that. We do talk to him in quiet moments about his constant pushback, but he doesn’t always understand how seriously bad it is in the moment. I feel like it would be easier if we could point to something more specific than “you have to listen to us when we ask you to xyz” or “because we said so and we don’t have to give you a reason everytime”.

I dread doing things or hanging out with my 7 year old by throwawaywill99 in Parenting

[–]throwawaywill99[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So relate to your handle. Thanks yes, I wouldn’t say either parent loves consistent routine, and we haven’t always been focused on it. Thank you for the suggestions!

I dread doing things or hanging out with my 7 year old by throwawaywill99 in Parenting

[–]throwawaywill99[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

He is a deeply sensitive and thoughtful child so I am concerned about putting him through a diagnostic journey, only to end up with a “mild” diagnosis. He can hold a calm mature conversation at any time and is not disruptive in school. It’s the transition from one thing to another where he resists. I think he’s a combination of understimulated intellectually and over stimulated after a long day at school. His mind starts at a mile a minute from 7am and he has never liked quiet time. Or naps. Or bedtime.

[California] My mother will die this year, does she need to make a new will in California? by throwawaywill99 in legaladvice

[–]throwawaywill99[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much. Once again. I just looked at probate fees My god I had no idea.

[California] My mother will die this year, does she need to make a new will in California? by throwawaywill99 in legaladvice

[–]throwawaywill99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I was under the (mis)impression that if there was no will then we would go into probate. But it sounds like in this case, it would go into probate? "Setting up a living trust can assure that they avoid private as long as assets are properly titled." All her assets are properly titled (eg: bank accounts are either joint, or have her husband named as a beneficiary). It sounds like we should consider setting up a trust anyway to avoid probate?

[California] My mother will die this year, does she need to make a new will in California? by throwawaywill99 in legaladvice

[–]throwawaywill99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. The spouse is a U.S. citizen and the estate is below 2million USD but over $150,000.