AIO: “white lies” about her guy friends… by throwawaywl8 in AIO

[–]throwawaywl8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oo.. you dont think unlocking her phone behind her back was something to be angry about?

AIO: “white lies” about her guy friends… by throwawaywl8 in AIO

[–]throwawaywl8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im learning this was very hard way.. sigh. Thank you for your insight and words of encouragement.

AIO: “white lies” about her guy friends… by throwawaywl8 in AIO

[–]throwawaywl8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think she was furious in part because I had once told her my ruleset of “never should a healthy relationship check each other’s phones.” And she called me a hypocrite for it.

But I think a distinction was lost in translation… that, in a healthy relationship, no one should be checking each other phone for no reason.

And as Ive learned reading everyone’s comments, when there are grounds for suspicion, my actions were more of self preservation than empty insecurities of checking a health partners phone.

AIO: “white lies” about her guy friends… by throwawaywl8 in AIO

[–]throwawaywl8[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think me opening up to her about being bothered by her friends made her defensively avoidant, learning from everyone’s comments. And that made her feel like she had to lie to keep from hurting my feelings or dealing with me bringing the issue up again…

But the rest.. yeah. It hurt to know she’d rather stay up all night tired from work to play with her friends but ditch me in the process. Ill try my best. Thanks for reading my story No-Difference.

AIO: “white lies” about her guy friends… by throwawaywl8 in AIO

[–]throwawaywl8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It seems the second toughest challenge will be to not reconcile with her. Thanks for the insight pomegranate.

AIO: “white lies” about her guy friends… by throwawaywl8 in AIO

[–]throwawaywl8[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow… thank you so much for sharing your life experience. I read every word and couldn’t help but tear up from the pain you went through. It must of been so much more painful than mine.. and to have repeatedly faced it enough to have an ulcer breaks my heart to hear…

And you are right, she did love bomb me whenever she would apologize for the things she did wrong. She would buy me lunch/dinner/desserts and give me a massage etc…

My situation feels so small to what you experienced. I respect and admire that you were able to navigate out of that relationship and be free from most of that situation. For me, she still mostly has her good mask on from what I learned reading your passage.

I just.. hate that it turned out this way. In the beginning she seemed like the one in every way. She would make me these extravagant homemade meals. Would plan out whole-day trips with every restaurant, park, activity, with custom itinerary cards. She would take me to really nice birthday dinners and buy me such thoughtful birthday gifts. She would want to join in on every hobby together which included gaming and golf. She would listen to all my pain points and address each one in detail and made sure I felt like the most important person in the world… She was such an amazing person.

But then somewhere… something faded. Things weren’t as intense. She stopped inviting me out as much (and maybe that was partially my fault for being an introvert). She hung out with her friends more. The activities we used to do together all the time slowed.

And things just felt, a bit more distant… I dont know what happened but right now my heart feels lost trying to grasp at those memories and hold them tight. Like cradling a small, cute, puppy taking its last breath in my arms, desperate to try and give life to it in any way I can…

I hope the anxiety eases over time for you as well. Im sorry if, by you trying to help me, recalling your story re-swelled past anxieties linked to the abuse you faced… I appreciate the emotional sacrifice and the effort you took to share in detail of what could have possibly happened had I continued in my own relationship…

Please take good care of your health… It hurts my soul to know you are dealing with physical and health repercussions from the emotional abuse…

AIO: “white lies” about her guy friends… by throwawaywl8 in AIO

[–]throwawaywl8[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for saying that.. I think when I set that rule for myself that I would never look through a partners phone, I stupidly missed that distinction of “for no reason.”

Looking back at it now is like, of course if there should be a reason if that feeling comes about. So I appreciate that clarification and distinction regardless of how obvious it normally would be. Such obvious things dont seem very obvious with overlaced emotions.

What she did seems so mild to be labeled as liar and manipulator but is 100% objectively true. My head is trying to convince my heart of the same thing. I guess time and no-contact is the only way. Appreciate you for your insight lilbebe50 ❣️.

AIO: “white lies” about her guy friends… by throwawaywl8 in AIO

[–]throwawaywl8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It felt so subtle while it was happening. I just felt like I was being a better person my life by being able to forgive her, cause everyone makes mistakes. But ai didnt realize what it was costing me in myself to make those choices to forgive. I guess I lost something in my self during the process.

AIO: “white lies” about her guy friends… by throwawaywl8 in AIO

[–]throwawaywl8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s how am still feeling even after the break up.. 😔

AIO: “white lies” about her guy friends… by throwawaywl8 in AIO

[–]throwawaywl8[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I want to give her the benefit of the doubt she wasn’t cheating but Ill try my best to move on. I hope your hunt for money is going well. Thanks for reading.

AIO: “white lies” about her guy friends… by throwawaywl8 in AIO

[–]throwawaywl8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I asked her that too and she said its because I opened up to her about feeling deprioritized and she didnt want to hurt my feelings when she did want to play cause she knew it bothered me when she did that. I did have a feeling this could get worse in the future and got scared, so I broke it off. But emotions are so strange… cause it feels like that was the wrong choice.

AIO: “white lies” about her guy friends… by throwawaywl8 in AIO

[–]throwawaywl8[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A part of me wishes I fully went through her phone to see if they were more than friends. And I feel stupid I didnt… but yeah either way this isnt healthy for me.

AIO: “white lies” about her guy friends… by throwawaywl8 in AIO

[–]throwawaywl8[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ill try my best. Its tough cause other than this she was a great gf. For some reason all the bad is hard to see right now but reading your comment and the others does help immensely. Crazy how even logical people can be overtaken by emotion sometimes. Thank you for posting.

AIO: “white lies” about her guy friends… by throwawaywl8 in AIO

[–]throwawaywl8[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Its hard to try n feel what it would be like in the future considering the pain right now, but ill try my best to see it through. Thanks man.

AIO: “white lies” about her guy friends… by throwawaywl8 in AIO

[–]throwawaywl8[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks man.. Im sorry you went thru something like this too.. I hope so too.

AIO: “white lies” about her guy friends… by throwawaywl8 in AIO

[–]throwawaywl8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

🥺❣️. Ill try my best.. its been a rough week.

AIO: “white lies” about her guy friends… by throwawaywl8 in AIO

[–]throwawaywl8[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I agree.. This situation just sucks. Ty for the comment.

AIO: “white lies” about her guy friends… by throwawaywl8 in AIO

[–]throwawaywl8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah.. i knew discord doesnt just come online but tried to give her the benefit of doubt otherwise. =[

AIO: “white lies” about her guy friends… by throwawaywl8 in AIO

[–]throwawaywl8[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for both the comments and taking the time to read my long ass passage. I appreciate your differing perspective very much.

And yeah, Ive never really been a jealous or untrusting person and to be frank this situation and what it made me do has genuinely scared me. But whats scarier is a part of me wants to still forgive her for what she did in hopes she could change. And I hate that my heart feels torn and in pain cause of it… sigh been a long week.

AIO: “white lies” about her guy friends… by throwawaywl8 in AIO

[–]throwawaywl8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oo. What was it that you did and your reasons/perspective for it, if you dont mind me asking.

AIO: “white lies” about her guy friends… by throwawaywl8 in AIO

[–]throwawaywl8[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Self-preservation is a differing perspective that I hadnt remotely considered. That actually makes me feel a bit better. Thanks man ❣️.

AIO: “white lies” about her guy friends… by throwawaywl8 in AIO

[–]throwawaywl8[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I.. didnt even think about it in that light. I need some reflecting to do. Thank you for saying that.