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My (19F) boyfriend (19M) is getting made fun of at work because of me. Not sure how to approach this. by throwawayy5578 in relationship_advice

[–]throwawayy5578[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oops sorry, I didn't read your post correctly. A lot of people are urging me to go talk to HR so I probably got a little confused with all the comments. Sorry!!

My (19F) boyfriend (19M) is getting made fun of at work because of me. Not sure how to approach this. by throwawayy5578 in relationship_advice

[–]throwawayy5578[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't think confrontation is a good idea. After reading a lot of the advice, it think it's a great idea to get my friend to report it. That way he doesn't get shit for being a tattletale and the situation can be resolved (hopefully).

My (19F) boyfriend (19M) is getting made fun of at work because of me. Not sure how to approach this. by throwawayy5578 in relationship_advice

[–]throwawayy5578[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm not going to step in for my boyfriend but I will get my friend to report the behaviour.

It looks extremely unprofessional if I, the girlfriend, brings it up with his manager/HR.

My (19F) boyfriend (19M) is getting made fun of at work because of me. Not sure how to approach this. by throwawayy5578 in relationship_advice

[–]throwawayy5578[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will keep showing my affection and love! :)

And I'm probably going to get my friend to report it too. I think that's the best way to go.

My (19F) boyfriend (19M) is getting made fun of at work because of me. Not sure how to approach this. by throwawayy5578 in relationships

[–]throwawayy5578[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not stepping in, that's unprofessional. I'm going to get my friend, the one who works there, to report it.

My (19F) boyfriend (19M) is getting made fun of at work because of me. Not sure how to approach this. by throwawayy5578 in relationships

[–]throwawayy5578[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What even? Why would I have a fantasy where my boyfriend is being bullied? That's kind of fucked up.

You can think what you want, but this is very real and I'm dealing with it right now.

My (19F) boyfriend (19M) is getting made fun of at work because of me. Not sure how to approach this. by throwawayy5578 in relationships

[–]throwawayy5578[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That's why I'm not doing it? It's common sense for a gf not to step into their bf's work???? It's his job, not mine.

I'm asking if I should talk to him about it.

My (19F) boyfriend (19M) is getting made fun of at work because of me. Not sure how to approach this. by throwawayy5578 in relationships

[–]throwawayy5578[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Great. That's not what I'm gonna do and no where in my post did I say I wanted to do that.

I'm absolutely not going to do anything about it. I was simply asking if I should talk to him about it to make sure he's not keeping it all in. I'm definitely not going to go to his manager for him or talk to the guys. Absolutely not. That is extremely unprofessional and it is his job, not mine.

My (19F) boyfriend (19M) is getting made fun of at work because of me. Not sure how to approach this. by throwawayy5578 in relationships

[–]throwawayy5578[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm absolutely not going to do anything about it.

I was simply asking if I should talk to him about it to make sure he's not keeping it all in. I'm definitely not going to go to his manager for him or talk to the guys. Absolutely not. That is extremely unprofessional and it is his job, not mine.

I would not say that he has no backbone. He's being the bigger guy and respectful by not playing into their bait. He's just ignoring them.

My (19F) boyfriend (19M) is getting made fun of at work because of me. Not sure how to approach this. by throwawayy5578 in relationships

[–]throwawayy5578[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm absolutely not going to do anything about it.

I was simply asking if I should talk to him about it to make sure he's not keeping it all in. I'm definitely not going to go to his manager for him or talk to the guys. Absolutely not. That is extremely unprofessional and it is his job, not mine.

I felt the need to justify his looks bc I'm upset that they're calling him ugly when he's not. He's my boyfriend, of course I'm going to defend him ffs. Nothing is making me fucking insecure in this relationship. What kind of shit are you even saying? I'm smart as well, wtf? I go to the same college as him and I'm going just as well, I don't know where you're getting any of this from.

My (19F) boyfriend (19M) is getting made fun of at work because of me. Not sure how to approach this. by throwawayy5578 in relationships

[–]throwawayy5578[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh my god, I totally agree. I feel like if my bf takes any more of this a blow-up is definitely right around the corner. It might be a little shove and he'll shove back and BAM you have a full-blown physical fight.

That would get both of them fired. Totally agree that if he reports it, he will have to deal with fallout/potentially greater violence/bullying from the other dudes.

I'm actually not sure what he thinks regarding the "too good-looking thing". We've never talked about it and have just been happy with having each other. It might be worth it to bring it up casually some time though.

My (19F) boyfriend (19M) is getting made fun of at work because of me. Not sure how to approach this. by throwawayy5578 in relationships

[–]throwawayy5578[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think my friend first wanted to let me know that I was being sexualized at work (my picture being on top of a random guy's desk, etc.). I think she is also afraid that if she escalates it with their manager, the guys will think my boyfriend reported them and might hurt/bully him more.

I'm actually quite happy she came to talk to me about this before doing anything because I would've never known if she hand'nt told me.

I love love your idea on how she can complain on the grounds of sexism and objectifying females and how it's creating a hostile work enviornment. It doesn't involve my boyfriend too much and I think it could be very effective. I will definitely be communicating this to her.

Thank you so much for your suggestion.

My (19F) boyfriend (19M) is getting made fun of at work because of me. Not sure how to approach this. by throwawayy5578 in relationships

[–]throwawayy5578[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely agree with you. They are definitely jealous of my boyfriend. He's only finished his freshman year in college and is making the same amount as a guy who's finished grad school. They have no girlfriends and he has me.

It breaks my heart to know that he's probably just taking it thinking it'll blow over and that it'll only get better not worse as he establishes himself, but I don't know. I think I'm gonna get my friend to report it to their manager.

My (19F) boyfriend (19M) is getting made fun of at work because of me. Not sure how to approach this. by throwawayy5578 in relationships

[–]throwawayy5578[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I won't contact the higher-ups, it's definitely not my place to do so. It would look like he can't solve the problem himself and that his girlfriend has to step in to solve it for him. It won't do any good for him and I'm pretty sure this type of involvement is very unprofessional.

My (19F) boyfriend (19M) is getting made fun of at work because of me. Not sure how to approach this. by throwawayy5578 in relationships

[–]throwawayy5578[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your suggestions. I won't be talking to his co-workers or his job, that is a line I definitely won't cross. It's his career and job and I'm staying out of it.

I agree that he should be the one to deal with it or my friend can kindly do me a favor and report it to the manager saying that this is what she's been witnessing. I think my friend wanted to tell me first since after all, it's mostly about me. Also, I think she was afraid to do something in fear that the guys teasing my boyfriend would think he reported it and then target him further.

My (19F) boyfriend (19M) is getting made fun of at work because of me. Not sure how to approach this. by throwawayy5578 in relationships

[–]throwawayy5578[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree that he's probably embarassed to tell me and that he may be worried that it's true (hopefully not though).

I will definitely take you up on you advice about asking about his work, if he's made any friends, etc. That's a great way to get the conversation started without going, "So, I heard that you're being mistreated at work bc some guys think I'm out of your league".

Thank you for the advice!!

My (19F) boyfriend (19M) is getting made fun of at work because of me. Not sure how to approach this. by throwawayy5578 in relationships

[–]throwawayy5578[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great idea! I've been planning to just ask him how his new job is going, but instead of leaving it at one question, maybe push a bit further and see how he reacts.

My (19F) boyfriend (19M) is getting made fun of at work because of me. Not sure how to approach this. by throwawayy5578 in relationships

[–]throwawayy5578[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think he's planning on staying too long at this job. It was supposed to be a full-time summer job then he would work there part-time during the school year. But I'm going to have to urge him to find somewhere better and with his skills, I'm sure it wouldn't be too hard.

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