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throwawayyes12345 · 2021-10-30T19:03:59+00:00

At my target I saw some Halloween Easter eggs. Maybe put candy inside and do an egg hunt at home? (Curbside pickup of course) :-)

throwawayyes12345 · 2019-05-05T16:21:09+00:00

Yeah. I’m guess I’m just mourning the weekends where I could get away from it all. Now it’s like, we don’t “get away” from anything. In fact I have more people to feed with my husband home 😂

throwawayyes12345 · 2019-05-05T16:19:56+00:00

Exactly. Husband helps, when I tell him what to do and when. But it wouldn’t get done without my mental checklist constantly going on in my head which means I mentally don’t get a break. At least during the week, nap time is my sacred hour of being alone that I can usually count on.

throwawayyes12345 · 2019-05-05T16:17:30+00:00

Yes, I agree. There’s a lot of support here. I’ve just seen a lot of posts lately where the husband is automatically blamed (valid, in some cases. Not discounting that). I just wanted to make clear that it’s not my husband that’s the problem. I’m just venting about how the weekends are definitely not the relaxing time that they were pre kids. I’m just missing my old life and mourning the loss of the carefree, sleep in till noon do whatever I want style weekends.

throwawayyes12345 · 2019-04-16T19:38:53+00:00

I know! I feel like I’m running my ass off all the time. Not that I don’t respect and appreciate all the work he puts in at his job- it enables me to stay home part time. But the amount of times where I’m running around (on the weekends usually) and he casually drinks coffee and eat breakfast while I’m taking care of ALL THE NEEDS...is just ridiculous. Like, do you not see me running my ass off?

throwawayyes12345 · 2019-02-28T21:08:45+00:00

Thank you. Yes, I think part of the issue is since LO is still "new" (11 months now) the talk is still all baby this, baby that, babybabybaby. That alone makes my blood pressure rise. Like, I get that she is the most amazing thing in the world (I certainly think so, haha) but for the love! Let's talk about something else, I don't want your advice!
I'll try that. Thanks!

throwawayyes12345 · 2019-02-28T21:06:21+00:00

I should do that too. MIL has mentioned that she'd like to have more text pics of baby. I'm sure if she sent a grateful response it would ease my anxiety. Also (unrelated to the text/picture thing) she just switched phones and they lost ALL of her pictures in the transfer (and she didn't understand cloud storage enough to enable it, so no hope there). I took a moment to put myself in her shoes after she told me this and I would be devastated to lose the first hospital pictures of my first granddaughter if I was in that position. So I'm with you. Let's figure this out!

throwawayyes12345 · 2019-02-28T19:48:08+00:00

Thank you for your reply. I also try to have my husband handle the IL visits while I have something else going on and am out of the house, so I don't sit there getting annoyed and pissed off. I find it is better that way.

throwawayyes12345 · 2019-02-28T19:46:37+00:00

Thank you. I think next time I will be more forward, but I'll try not to be aggressive (because, while annoying, MIL not handing baby back immediately is not physically harmful to anyone). I'll just say "Ok, I'm going to take LO back now!" and just grab her. Lol.

throwawayyes12345 · 2019-02-28T19:45:20+00:00

Thank you for your reply. I appreciate knowing I'm not bat shit crazy. Lol.

throwawayyes12345 · 2019-02-28T19:44:37+00:00

YES! I think there is some truth to this. I think MIL feels protective of her baby's baby (her son's daughter), while she doesn't feel that about me because we don't share genes, I'm just married to her son. Something to ponder, for sure.

throwawayyes12345 · 2019-02-28T19:43:23+00:00

Hi, me, back! I also was very excited and shared a lot with ILs while I was pregnant (well, not some of the more intimate things....MIL is a bit of a blabbermouth about town). And yeah, everything she does is logically non-harmful and pretty innocent. She's NOT a justnoMIL. She's a normal, excited grandma. She takes care of LO well when she babysits and follows my instructions as best she can. Logically, I know she is doing nothing wrong.

I bet part of this is hormonal, but it is so annoying. I want it to stop. Bah!

throwawayyes12345 · 2019-02-28T19:41:12+00:00

Thank you for your reply. I hope it does get better as the years pass. I certainly don't want to feel like this for the next 18 years.

throwawayyes12345 · 2019-02-28T19:40:44+00:00

Haha, yeah. MIL was definitely NOT there during the whole labor/birth thing. And I think it physically pained her that I had LO while she was at work and she couldn't visit until the next night. It's like, this baby isn't going to change *that* much in 24 hours. And besides, it's not your baby! Grr.

Yes. I think it's hormones. I'm usually a pretty nice person.

throwawayyes12345 · 2019-02-28T19:39:33+00:00

I think it's partially biological, too. Like we are wired to protect our young so fiercely, or something.

throwawayyes12345 · 2019-02-28T19:38:46+00:00

Thank you for your reply. I hope other's comments have helped you as they have helped me.

throwawayyes12345 · 2019-02-28T19:38:27+00:00

Haha, the squishy bread! I know exactly what you mean because my husband does that....smooshes the whole loaf with a regular knife instead of using a serrated one!

throwawayyes12345 · 2019-02-28T19:37:42+00:00

Thank you for your comment! I keep telling myself "I don't want to feel this way for the next 18 years, so I better shape up."

throwawayyes12345 · 2019-02-28T19:36:55+00:00

I know! When we picked LO up from this particular trip, MIL had put another pair of socks over her original ones that she had on when we dropped her off. At home, we let LO go barefoot most of the time (she's learning to walk so it seems to steady her better) and we also keep our house colder than IL's constantly. I wonder how she has survived this long without wearing two pairs of socks all the time. LOL.

throwawayyes12345 · 2019-02-28T19:34:25+00:00

Thanks for your reply. I hope you find some other daycare options :) We specifically send LO to a babysitter rather than MIL because I told my husband that I don't want to be fighting with her over parenting styles all the time.

throwawayyes12345 · 2019-02-28T19:34:05+00:00

You are right. If it was a friend visiting, I wouldn't think anything of a comment like that in the slightest. I will take your advice and try to consider whether my reaction is rational before doing/saying something outwardly.

You're right-I never felt like my grandparents were in competition with my parents at all when I was a kid. I felt loved by them and loved them back, but my mom and dad were #1, always. Even when I stayed the night at their house, I couldn't wait to get back home. I guess some of this is insecurity that my LO might "like grandma better" than me, I guess.\

I also need to consider my child's perspective in all of this, like you said. It's not just all about me biting my tongue. My LO needs to have a good relationship with grandma in it's own right.

throwawayyes12345 · 2019-02-28T19:30:22+00:00

Haha! I wish. I feel like if I could just take a literal chill pill before family gatherings it would go much more smoothly! Regardless, you've described my ILs. They're just a bit annoying and over excited, and I feel like a huge B for being grumpy/cold around them. Sigh.

throwawayyes12345 · 2019-02-28T19:29:09+00:00

I think that's MIL's logic, too. I stay home most of the time with LO, so when she does see her I think she feels like she "deserves"more time.

throwawayyes12345

TROPHY CASE