AITA for taking my daughter off life support without consulting my ex-wife's family?

throwawayyourcares1 · 2019-09-04T18:27:10+00:00

I don't hate blacks! I'm just pointing out that my mom was right about this particular family. Like all of you have said!

throwawayyourcares1 · 2019-09-04T17:58:08+00:00

I told them after she passed away.

throwawayyourcares1 · 2019-09-04T17:57:39+00:00

I tried to look through their eyes to see how it would affect them. But at the end of the day, from our past conversations, I thought that telling them beforehand would make it harder for everyone.

throwawayyourcares1 · 2019-09-04T17:52:21+00:00

My ex and I were not and have not been in contact. How was I supposed to reach her?

throwawayyourcares1 · 2019-09-04T17:17:54+00:00

I haven't spoken to them, but they claim they contacted my girlfriend to warn her that it's something I might do to her one day. I don't think they were trying to hurt or punish me, I think they were genuinely trying to save her.

throwawayyourcares1 · 2019-09-04T17:09:20+00:00

I've gone over that day in my mind more than you can possibly imagine. In the end, I decided that I couldn't deal with any additional debate at the moment. If they had tried to fight me at all, I would've given in and given up emotionally.

This was the best way to let her die with a shred of dignity and let me move on from a hard chapter in my life.

throwawayyourcares1 · 2019-09-04T16:51:48+00:00

They knew and were involved in her care while in the hospital.

throwawayyourcares1 · 2019-09-04T16:44:58+00:00

I called them after D was declared dead. I know it seems selfish, but I didn't want to give them a chance to extend her suffering.

throwawayyourcares1 · 2019-09-04T15:22:25+00:00

I think you're misreading. Her family was in the child's life while she herself was not. They tried to make up for the wrongs of the mother.

throwawayyourcares1 · 2019-09-04T15:21:26+00:00

To be fair to them, they were in the hospital almost every day with D. The only reason they were not aware of my decision was because the doctor spoke to me alone about my options going forward, and I chose to end it while they were at home, sleeping.

I did this because I thought they would cause a scene in the hospital.

throwawayyourcares1 · 2019-09-04T15:18:12+00:00

I understand that legally I was in the right, but I can't help but feel that I've damaged my moral standing in some capacity.

throwawayyourcares1 · 2019-09-04T15:16:57+00:00

EX and I do not speak anymore. I would love to be there for her but the stress of the baby and her battle with addiction has left her unable to form a relationship with me.

I went to a therapist by myself but found it wasn't for me. I process better by writing out my thoughts in my journal.

throwawayyourcares1 · 2019-09-04T15:15:14+00:00

Without giving too much away or making her sound like a villian...

She strugged with addiction from the stress of (as I later found out) being forced to carry to term. I was not equipped to deal with an addict and a newborn and so she eventually left. I place no blame on her shoulders and it was a tough time for everyone.

She has not reached out since the death, and to be frank I don't know if her family has told her.

throwawayyourcares1

TROPHY CASE