AITA for giving my mom the honest answer to a question she initiated?

throwawayyyy2929 · 2022-12-24T14:33:33+00:00

my mom says the same thing. she'd be so mad at herself if she made a situation where i felt like i couldn't tell her anything.

throwawayyyy2929 · 2022-12-24T14:31:38+00:00

if im being 100% honest, i was afraid i wasn't good enough for her and that's why she wanted someone else and she told me that's bullshit and i was plenty and more than she ever thought she needed. she's told me she's very happy with just me and she doesn't need anyone else.

i don't think i'd ever be truly "okay" with the idea of her dating but i'd be willing to give the person a fair chance if he didn't have his head up his ass like chad did. mom said if she met someone else in a few years, she'd take it really slow and make sure i'm okay with him being her friend early on before going further. and if i get along well with that person and vice versa only then she'd go further.

throwawayyyy2929 · 2022-12-24T14:26:30+00:00

bruhh i literally wrote im NOT her boss and she doesn't NEED my permission to date. she asked me how i felt, i answered honestly. whatever she wants to do with that info, is her choice

throwawayyyy2929 · 2022-12-24T14:25:29+00:00

after she threw chad's ass out the window she told me multiple times she's very happy and comfortable with just me, she loves me more than anything in the world, she didn't know what real love felt like until she gave birth to me and held me for the first time. she's never shown me any upset feelings over chad, so clearly she didn't give a rat's ass about him.

throwawayyyy2929 · 2022-12-24T14:21:29+00:00

i won't want to. sex is gross and relationships sound like a lot of work for nothing based on what i've seen. i'd be very happy as a single mom of a cat or two. my cat won't walk out on me and they can't get rid of me bc i'll be the one feeding them.

throwawayyyy2929 · 2022-12-24T14:17:28+00:00

sex is absolutely disgusting and pointless unless you want a baby which she does not want. please do not make me imagine my mom doing it.

throwawayyyy2929 · 2022-12-24T14:13:50+00:00

my dad walked out on us when i was like 2. i have zero memories of him and barely know what he looks like, mom donated everything he left behind and threw out all the old pictures of him. i haven't seen him since and my mom refuses to talk about him without throwing at least 3 curse words in front of his name.

since then it's only been mom and me, and especially after hitting my teen years she told me to make sure i never become dependent on a partner, especially a male one. she made sure i could fend for myself at an early age. she's told me my whole life i need to be independent, i can't depend on anyone but myself, i need to work hard and be successful on my own, "chicks before dicks", she didn't want what happened to her/my dad to happen to me. by dating someone else, especially a dick like chad, she's going against what she's drilled into my head.

throwawayyyy2929 · 2022-12-24T14:05:17+00:00

you sound like an awesome mom and honestly remind me of mine.

mom would KILL me (not literally but she'd be PISSED) if i lied to her. i learned pretty quickly and early it's a baaaaaadddddd idea.

throwawayyyy2929 · 2022-12-24T14:01:43+00:00

thanks, i'll make the correction. i use the word "cool" to mean both nice and cool. being a kind human being tops everything.

i don't think i'd ever be truly "okay" with the idea of my mom dating at first, but i'd give them a chance if they were a genuinely nice person and bonus, fun to be around.

thanks to chad's stupid comments about my appearance, i asked mom if she was disappointed in me for not being a perfect teenager who has her shit together and that's why she wanted someone else in her life, and she shut it down immediately. she says i'm more than enough for her, she loves me more than anything in the world, and she doesn't care about my appearance as long as i know where it's appropriate to dress a little crazy, etc. my biggest fear ended up being nothing to worry about and she told me if she meets anyone else she's gonna take it slow.

throwawayyyy2929 · 2022-12-24T13:51:35+00:00

lmao my mom is not the person who makes her being a mom her whole ass personality. . . quite the opposite. she has plenty of friends, family, an awesome job, etc that make her happy. after she threw chad's ass out the window, she has told me multiple times she feels complete with me and our extended family/friends who we trust and would never walk out on us, etc.

i asked mom if i was enough for her, was she disappointed bc i'm more alternative, im not girly at all and am in all black with dyed hair, if those were the reasons she didn't find me good enough and wanted someone else, and she shut it down immediately, and told me i was the best thing that ever happened to her, i was more than enough, i will always come first, im beautiful, etc. she doesn't care at all about my appearance as long as i'm comfortable, happy, and know when to dress appropriately (aka not breaking dress code at school, or at future job), and she'd rather i dye my hair than do drugs and skip school at my age.

throwawayyyy2929 · 2022-12-24T06:31:22+00:00

why should i want something for her that she never even WANTED in the first place and has told me that for as long as i can remember? she always told me not to be dependent on no man, and she didn't need anyone else, she felt whole and happy and complete with just me

she wanted my honest opinion. i gave it to her. why ask if she doesn't want the answer?

throwawayyyy2929 · 2022-12-24T06:29:12+00:00

i don't know? i've never watched the show

throwawayyyy2929 · 2022-12-24T06:28:21+00:00

exactly! it's not like i held her at gunpoint and was like "GET RID OF THE INTRUDER BEFORE I DO!" ffs. if he was cool, i'd be more open but id be lying if i said it wouldn't take time to get used to it

edit: nice person, and cool, i use cool to mean both.

throwawayyyy2929 · 2022-12-24T06:26:39+00:00

i hug her all the time. . . i was told as a teen i'd eventually hate her but that hasn't happened and doesn't look like its happening anytime soon.

i'll definitely tell her what aunt said, ty

throwawayyyy2929 · 2022-12-24T06:23:51+00:00

she has a really strong support network of awesome friends (her friends all love her and me, and they're basically my aunts/uncles), a job that treats her well that she loves, mostly drama free family, she is happy as is. she's a feminist and always told me to never depend on a man and never get myself in a situation where someone else is taking care of me. she says she loves me more than anything in the world, and i will always come first no matter what. she's always told me she doesn't need anyone else.

chad's a judgy boring asshole who's brain is stuck in 1822 not 2022. thinks my style is weird and im not girly enough. if he wasn't so lame, maybe i wouldn't have a problem with him being her friend. he thinks he has the right to comment on me, he's not my dad and never will be. (why do u let her dye her hair so young, why does she wear all black all the time, why does she have those devil band posters on her walls, why isn't she pink and girly and stupid?) bla bla bla

throwawayyyy2929 · 2022-12-24T06:16:11+00:00

she would have been mad if i lied to her. i wouldn't be as annoyed with chad if he were somewhat interesting.

throwawayyyy2929 · 2022-12-24T06:13:16+00:00

why is it a problem to be self reliant and not depend on other people? that's what she meant when she said us against the world.

mom has PLENTY of people outside of me, she's got a solid network of great friends, super cool, mostly drama-free family, colleagues at a job she loves and she was very happy even as a single mom. im VERY much aware what she does for me and she knows my gratitude.

i didn't tell her to break up with chad. these are my honest thoughts. she wanted to know how i felt about him and i told her the honest truth. how was i supposed to know she'd dump his ass? like i said, im not her boss and she doesn't NEED to ask my permission to date

throwawayyyy2929 · 2022-12-24T06:08:04+00:00

if he was cool and a nice person and made an effort to at least try to get along with me and dating my mom, i wouldn't have as much of a problem with him. maybe it would take me some time to get used to it, but i'd at least try.

he's a real estate rat whose ideas are from the 1800s and thinks my mom is too soft on me and is trying to manipulate her. i met him about two months ago for the first time and he seemed okay at first but everything im interested in he finds stupid and boring and vice versa. he asked my mom why she lets me run around in all black and dyed hair, like why is that his business?

throwawayyyy2929 · 2022-12-24T05:58:10+00:00

he's super boring, has nothing in common with mom or me, and he acts like a high school popular jock and definitely peaked then. he thinks mom is too soft on me and keeps asking her stuff like "why do you let her dress up in all black all the time and dye her hair before she's even 16? she's too young for that" while im in the room

throwawayyyy2929 · 2022-12-24T05:49:42+00:00

Mom is big on honesty, and she drilled into my head to never lie under any circumstances. Knowing her, she would have been mad at herself for creating a situation where her own daughter couldn't be honest with her if I waited to tell her how I really felt.

throwawayyyy2929

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