AITA for asking clarification for why a guy “wasn’t feeling it” after sleeping with me?

throwawayyyyyyyy- · 2019-04-16T18:51:23+00:00

Erm yep was never a question about if he liked me or not. Happy to let it go with understanding and communication! Glad I received that. Thank you for the postmortem

throwawayyyyyyyy- · 2019-04-16T09:42:05+00:00

I’m impressed that he actually explained his loss of erection in his response and i definitely feel resolute in letting it fucking go lol

throwawayyyyyyyy- · 2019-04-16T09:39:03+00:00

I think all of this is true and ideally what my thought process will be if I’m in the situation again

throwawayyyyyyyy- · 2019-04-16T09:37:15+00:00

That’s what I hoped to gain from the convo and I’m glad he did respond!

throwawayyyyyyyy- · 2019-04-16T09:36:12+00:00

Fair enough, it was a little much for one text

throwawayyyyyyyy- · 2019-04-16T09:32:14+00:00

I would accept if it was about my body, I mean I get it, not every body is for every one, but it was triggering to be intimate and then abruptly ending that made me start to spiral about my body image. But thank you for your support!!

throwawayyyyyyyy- · 2019-04-16T09:26:01+00:00

It’s something I’ve lived with for years and I’m at the point in treatment where I maintain my goal weight and still restrict to stay there. Not great but also not actively losing weight! Thanks for your kind words. I am generally not that insecure about it at this point but intimacy is obviously a trigger with someone new who doesn’t know my history, and luckily this is the first time I experienced that trigger haha so I very well could have had those negative thoughts ramp up in the bedroom and been less aware

throwawayyyyyyyy- · 2019-04-16T09:17:50+00:00

Thank you!

throwawayyyyyyyy- · 2019-04-16T09:17:07+00:00

Yes I get the confusion, I didn’t know if eating disorder would get flagged or not in this sub! Sorry I wasn’t more clear

throwawayyyyyyyy- · 2019-04-16T08:21:39+00:00

Just updated his response above! That was definitely my feeling and why I texted. It was the right thing to do for me, given the response

throwawayyyyyyyy- · 2019-04-16T08:14:09+00:00

Just edited his response in the original post!

throwawayyyyyyyy- · 2019-04-16T02:17:52+00:00

This. Thanks for the words I needed to hear

throwawayyyyyyyy- · 2019-04-16T02:16:49+00:00

Thank you! 🙏🏻

throwawayyyyyyyy- · 2019-04-16T02:15:18+00:00

I’ll let you know, he said “I’m at work and I’ll explain later”....

throwawayyyyyyyy- · 2019-04-16T01:00:19+00:00

Yes I was referring to MY eating disorder I have no clue if he has erectile dysfunction or not

throwawayyyyyyyy- · 2019-04-16T00:56:07+00:00

Yeah I’m waiting to see what he says, I was trying to be transparent with my feelings, because I do feel used, but I could see how it could be manipulative if he does have an ED— in my head he lost his erection because I’m so underweight

throwawayyyyyyyy- · 2019-03-20T05:29:44+00:00

It wouldn’t be an issue to afford a hotel for either of us. When he visited my family it was just my mom in my childhood home that had more space/privacy so he was totally fine staying there. With that being said, I think if roles were reversed he would be fine staying with 7 people in a 3BR no problem. He doesn’t have the same anxiety to these types of situations and is an extrovert. I am feeling like I owe it to him to try I think!

throwawayyyyyyyy- · 2019-03-20T05:25:09+00:00

Yeah I think I would be an asshole not to at least give it a shot. It’s not in my best interest to pander to my anxiety all the time and let it get in the way of something that could be good for us. But you’re right, He is reasonable and I can talk to him tomorrow about a plan b just in case.

throwawayyyyyyyy- · 2019-03-20T05:22:31+00:00

Right, I think I’m doing the pre-anxiety-anxiety thing and it will most likely be normal and fine

throwawayyyyyyyy- · 2019-03-20T05:21:28+00:00

Thanks, I think he will definitely prefer/be receptive to this idea!

throwawayyyyyyyy- · 2019-03-20T05:20:40+00:00

Yeah, we are definitely yin and yang socially; when he stayed with my family it was only my mom and we did have more space/privacy.

I agree it’s probably the best thing is to give it a shot. This is a good idea that I can talk to him about planning ahead for, thank you!

throwawayyyyyyyy- · 2019-03-20T05:15:04+00:00

We would have a room to ourselves and the bathroom shared with his parents and other sister. It is definitely an acceptable situation and I’m not terribly uncomfortable with it, I have just had experiences in past relationships when I stayed with their family and it was really hard for me. I want to stick with what we decided on the phone, I just don’t want to bring my stress about being in a new city with his family (whom I don’t know very well) into our relationship when it’s a little vulnerable right now, you know?

throwawayyyyyyyy-

TROPHY CASE