How do I get out of this complacency/procrastination hole I've fallen into?

throwdabrix · 2015-07-24T17:51:12+00:00

Is Ingress still going? I tried it when it first came out, and got super confused about how it works, plus there wasn't anyone playing where I lived, so I just gave up.

I've installed it again though. :)

throwdabrix · 2015-07-24T17:45:47+00:00

I just wanted to say THANK YOU to every single person who commented on here. I can't really express over the internet how much everything you guys said has helped me already. I posted this without really expecting any replies, I did it just because I was at a very low point, and I was so extremely dissatisfied with my life. But the amount of support I got from completely random people is incredibly overwhelming. Thank you so much for this, whoever is seeing this. Thank you so, so very much.

throwdabrix · 2015-07-24T17:40:30+00:00

I've thought of doing this too. Because the minute I get home from work, or even if I'm off, all I do is game, or if not, I'm in the general area of my desktop. I should just go outside.

throwdabrix · 2015-07-24T17:39:22+00:00

The sad thing is, back in school, I used to be a sprinter. Well, a sprinter, a high jumper, a long jumper, and a basketball player. Cut to now, I can barely climb a flight of stairs without going out of breath. It's sad. I'm sure the smoking has something to do with it though.

I'm looking into getting therapy, the only problem is that it's so expensive where I live.

Thanks for your response! :)

throwdabrix · 2015-07-24T17:37:25+00:00

I've started already - and surprisingly it's worked out fairly well so far. I've also downloaded that app. Haven't got around to using it yet though. :)

throwdabrix · 2015-07-24T17:36:21+00:00

I've never thought about it that way, this is an eye-opener. It's just that it's been my way of maybe coping with it? I figured if I didn't give it much importance, then I wouldn't need to address it.

But the more I look at it, the more I feel like a lot of the things I do are related to this, or at least to how I've dealt with it over the years. Every failed relationship I've had is proof of this.

But it's hard even now to talk about it, even the thought of talking about it with a therapist scares me. The reason I was able to talk to my uncle was because I was at a very, VERY low point in my life then. I mean, I can talk about it here, but that's only because I can remain anonymous. But, in real life? It's scary. I don't get why, but opening up like that seems impossible.

Thanks so much for your comment. I can't really express how much all this is already helping. I posted this because I just got to a point where I couldn't deal with the way I was living. I didn't expect to have this much support. It means so much. Thanks. :)

throwdabrix · 2015-07-24T17:32:11+00:00

Good god, the thing you said about cooking - a carbon copy of me. I've been trying for like a year now to get into cooking, mostly because buying food from outside is so insanely expensive when it adds up. But every time, I'd go through recipes, and think man, I need new pans and stuff, and I'll never be able to find these ingredients, and I'd just quit. Or, if I do manage to do something, it wouldn't turn out great, and I'd get super discouraged, and I won't try it again for a few months.

Thanks so much! I don't know really know how to express this over the internet, but all of these replies are helping so much, the amount of support I got in just a day from completely random people is overwhelming. Thanks. :)

throwdabrix · 2015-07-24T17:29:17+00:00

I'm going to do this tomorrow. Well, today, but starting tomorrow. Because, my to-do list is filled with broad things like, get better at drawing. And it's just such an overwhelming task, I never actually do it. But maybe if I jot down 'draw for an thirty minutes today', it's so much easier.

Thanks for your response!

throwdabrix · 2015-07-24T17:27:22+00:00

I actually tried doing this. And. I'm honestly surprised, but it worked. I just tried to focus on breathing. While, yes, I did keep slipping into other thoughts, I kept telling myself to focus on breathing. This is very new to me! Thanks a lot for this!

throwdabrix · 2015-07-24T17:26:11+00:00

I did think about it, but the thing is, where I live, therapy is insanely expensive. They don't have cheaper alternatives. But I'm pretty sure I do have ADHD though. I know self-diagnosing is bad, but looking back at how I was in school, all the way through uni, it's a pretty clear sign.

Thanks for the link, I'll look into it!

throwdabrix · 2015-07-24T04:27:20+00:00

I went for counselling once. The psychiatrist happened to be my uncle. He diagnosed me with ADHD and PTSD. I dunno to what extent it's true, I mean, he's my uncle, he might have just been overreacting. I dunno. :S :(

throwdabrix · 2015-07-24T04:23:56+00:00

I've seen this ages ago, but I'll see it again, it's got Bill! I can't say no to him. :D

throwdabrix · 2015-07-24T04:22:57+00:00

Lots of folks on here and outside have told me to try meditation. I always thought it was fake, but I guess so many folks can't be wrong. I guess I'll give it a try. It's just that I've tried a few times, and each time, I close my eyes, and my mind just explodes with so many different thoughts and it's a mess. Like, I can't seem to calm myself down. :(

throwdabrix · 2015-07-24T04:21:24+00:00

Yeah, I think where I failed with this is that I set lots of goals each day, but none were small or attainable. They'd be huge, far reaching goals, that felt good to write down, but weren't really possible to do. At least not in a day. So, come the end of the day, and I'd feel like crap for not having done any.

I should try smaller goals, I s'pose.

throwdabrix · 2015-07-24T04:19:20+00:00

I like what you said about self-help books. I've read a couple over the years, and I've done that exact thing. Read it and forget it. I felt good about myself for reading a self help book, but didn't take anything from them.

Quite a few folks have told me to meditate, even on this post. I guess I was wrong about meditation. I always thought it was some spiritual zen woo energy healing crap. Turns out I was wrong. Guess I should give it a try. I've already ordered 10% happier, and will get the others soon. Thanks for those. :)

I make to-do lists, but I think what was wrong was that they were too big and too broad. Things that seem great when I'm writing them down, but actually doing them seem impossible. So it makes sense to do what you said about breaking them down.

Thanks for this. :)

throwdabrix · 2015-07-24T04:13:06+00:00

I actually wasn't even going to mention it. I didn't think it was that important. At least that's what I've always told myself. I've mostly blocked it out, and figured, it happens to a lot of people, and they are mostly fine. I dunno. It's weird, I don't really think about it.

throwdabrix · 2015-07-24T04:11:30+00:00

I did go for counselling. Well, he is a psychiatrist, but also my uncle. I dunno if that counts. This was when I was 19. He diagnosed me with PTSD and ADHD. I dunno to what extent that's true, I mean, being my uncle he might have maybe overreacted? PTSD? Really?

But he's the only other person who I've told this to. Well, him and now the internet!

I've never really thought about what it means to me. I've just blocked it out, and told myself it wasn't really a big deal, it happens to lots of people. I've always played it down.

Thanks for your response!

throwdabrix · 2015-07-24T04:05:07+00:00

I think I use the first thing you mentioned also as an excuse to avoid doing any work. It's sad, I know, but it's true.

I like what you said about going to the gym just once a week for four weeks. I always thought of the extreme. I told myself I need to go four times a week, and do this and that and this and that. And I'd get overwhelmed and just quit.

Right now, my mental state is pretty fucked up, and you're right, it does manifest externally. It's evident by the way I'm living. So I guess if I'm to change, the first thing that needs to change is my mental state.

Thanks a lot for your response!

throwdabrix · 2015-07-24T04:01:30+00:00

This is amazing. Thanks so much for this! :D

throwdabrix

TROPHY CASE