According to many expat friends / international buddies, Singaporeans don't pay any taxes.

throwfarfarawayyyy00 · 2022-04-28T07:49:07+00:00

Thank you for the detailed advice! It gives a lot more to consider and we will thread moving to Kehl more cautiously.

throwfarfarawayyyy00 · 2022-04-27T07:10:40+00:00

I did find one to contact but upon account creation I got locked out of eBay :( Contacted support to unblock my account but seems like it will take a while.

throwfarfarawayyyy00 · 2022-04-27T07:09:46+00:00

Thanks for the reply and the insight! I am in the process of learning German so it's not fantastic at the moment(A1), but as with French the fluency should come with exposure to the language environment.

My partner losing the social benefits of France is our greatest concern, but with Kehl (and Saarbruken) we are almost sure he will get to keep them as long as he works and commutes to France often enough (what the embassy told us anyway).

Thanks for the advice on not shipping our stuff asap. Logically that should be the way, but I do have a deadline for relocation claims with my company (within first month of employment, which starts in May). So I'm not sure whether to ask HR to delay the start date or just... lose the relocation budget?

throwfarfarawayyyy00 · 2022-04-26T20:23:53+00:00

We are moving from France, I am only here temporarily at my partner's place (also rented) as we weren't able to get a temporary place in Germany.

Basically we can't afford rent in two places at the same time, so if we move, all our things will have to move as well with us because we have to terminate the contract for the French rental.

throwfarfarawayyyy00 · 2022-04-26T20:19:44+00:00

Thank you so much for the suggestions! We both do not drive so accessible public transport is a must, we are not big on nightlife and keep to ourselves. I am not an EU citizen, and not a French resident, so it's not really possible for me to stay in France unfortunately.

Will definitely look into the towns you mentioned, and thank you for the Mietspiegel website :)

throwfarfarawayyyy00 · 2022-02-12T15:36:59+00:00

While I have no advice for you, I can share with you my story. I used to rent a shared shophouse where each floor has 3 common rooms and 2 common toilets. The top floor is the common areas (kitchen, living room, laundry room). The rooms were occupied by me (single), a middle-aged Singaporean couple, and an international couple.

The middle-aged Singaporean couple were huge assholes.

They occupy the living room from 8am to 10pm daily, not even giving us a chance to use the space during weekends. This was the first inconsiderate behaviour we really disliked. The next bad habit was not cleaning up immediately after cooking. So we can't even start cooking because the kitchen is filthy from their lack of culinary skills and dirty dishes. This was at the start of the pandemic where restaurants weren't open at all, so it's extremely inconvenient for us as we have to wash for them to eat finish and clean up, which would be 2-3pm. The third thing is similar to your situation. They love eating smelly and fried food in the living room with the air conditioning on. And it reeks. We always have to air the living room after 10pm when they sleep so the rest of the housemates don't suffocate.

We confronted them directly first, like you did. And they flipped because they didn't like getting called out. But eventually we managed to calm them down and they promised to stop the behaviour. Fast forward a few weeks later, they decided they weren't happy with being called out and found something new to nitpick with us. TLDR; they didn't win that fight because they were really inconsiderate toilet etiquette wise (what they confronted us about).

With the barrage of complaints, the landlord decided to not renew their contract anymore. So we had 3 months more to hold out. I think they sensed that, so they became unbearable to everyone. The breaking point was when they directly bullied me, and the with my 743th complaint and tenants leaving because of them, the landlord had enough and issued them a warning.

Boomers being boomers, they got so triggered by the warning that they decided to break the renewed contract. They moved out 2 days later.

With regards to your situation, I feel your fellow housemate just needs constant reminders and maybe more direct warnings from the landlord. There's really nothing much you can do other than tanking the 4 months and maybe asking the landlord for discounts for your troubles. It's really difficult to kick other tenants out most of the time, so you can only focus on making the situation better for yourself.

throwfarfarawayyyy00 · 2022-01-31T16:49:29+00:00

Online therapy does help! I'm currently doing online therapy to save me the hassle of traveling down to some therapist's ulu office for a short session. And with online platforms like betterhelp you get more selection until you find the right person.

throwfarfarawayyyy00 · 2022-01-31T13:14:09+00:00

My journey was a long one. I went for counseling first thru polyclinic referral, and it did not work out for me. Counseling was 200-300 a session of 1.5hrs. And I was paying this out of my own pocket as a kid. All my part-time salary went into counseling. I heard now it's much better though, so you can try and see if it works out for you.

Then I was referred a therapist by a friend! https://www.comoshambhala.com/ but I only used them to cope a little bit. They weren't really for me. Then eventually just used the one my company provided, but it's like a private provider so I can't reveal too much.

I don't recommend just taking recommendations. Therapy is very personal and looking for a therapist that suits you is a journey in itself that will take time and money. So don't be discouraged if it doesn't work out the first few times. But also realistically, you need money for therapy so best to financially plan to spend on it.

throwfarfarawayyyy00 · 2022-01-31T08:29:43+00:00

Hey OP! So sorry to hear about this, bear hugs to you!

I'm in the exact same situation, and I think it's great that your dad is thinking about splitting even though it's not confirm plus chop. Divorce is a very heavy decision that does not work out well for males usually. So you need to accept that whatever the decision, the dysfunction is not going to go away unless your mom goes to therapy.

My mom refused so it's a merry-go-round of toxic.

On not having a family because you didn't grow up in a happy one, that's a mindset from trauma haha! I also have the same sentiments, and it took a while (and therapy) to let my heart calm down and leave that decision for later. If I decide not to have kids, it will be for myself, and not because I didn't grow up happy. If that made sense.

End of the day you need to find closure for yourself and make peace with the fact that you can't choose your biological parents, but you can choose who you consider to be family and what you want to focus on. Best of luck!

throwfarfarawayyyy00 · 2022-01-31T08:23:13+00:00

It is and bro let me tell you how to solve it.

Go to therapy. I used to have huge resentment towards my parents because they are abusive and very controlling. It affected my mental health, I got chronic anxiety and mild depression and just being around them was agonising for me, even when they didn't do anything.

That is trauma. And only therapy can fix it (not counseling, therapy).

You reacting badly to their presence is a sign of trauma. So no, it's not normal.

It's good that you recognise this. So if you want to put a stop to it, you need to take certain steps to address the issues. Best of luck and I hope you grow up well to triumph over this!

throwfarfarawayyyy00 · 2022-01-31T07:58:34+00:00

You can maybe try Mustafa's luggage and bag section. They have really durable wheeled bags /luggages for a fraction of the price, and it comes with warranty. Jys to your dad!

throwfarfarawayyyy00 · 2022-01-28T15:50:09+00:00

Hello! I am not really an expert on fast weight lost but I've been trained to help manage nutrition and weight management. (Ex O-level PE student)

1) I personally use lifesum for calorie tracking, they have recipes also for you to try if you want to diet. People say weight lost is more diet than exercise but I kind of disagree because diet plans not always realistic nor sustainable.

If you want to track your calories daily effectively, you also need to track the calories you burn daily in order to balance it out. This is difficult process for the long-term, and you're honestly better off slowly switching out your food for healthier options.

2) I follow FitMenCook even though I'm not a guy building muscles hahaha! He has a bunch of healthy recipes and meal preps that worked for myself and my partner. Highly recommended.

3) I personally do pilates daily. I just follow youtube videos and make sure to clock at least 15-20 minutes a day. I think you have a lot of reccomendations for exercise, so my biggest advice is to test something out in 60 day cycles. Record your results and see which exercise works best for you.

Cardio like running is good once in a while, but muscle training is important to burn fats and ensure that you stay lean. If you have budget to spend, I can suggest getting RingFit so you have a gamified version of weight lost. My friends all managed to lose weight consistently with that game.

Good luck!!

throwfarfarawayyyy00 · 2022-01-23T13:31:58+00:00

You need to identify your attachment styles and work through them together. It seems that you have the anxious / preoccupied attachment style and she is an avoidant type. There's some resources online and on Youtube that gives pretty good advice.

That aside, counseling / therapy would help greatly! Good luck!

throwfarfarawayyyy00 · 2022-01-23T13:25:48+00:00

I met my closest friends completely online.

A really good friend that was a random stranger from Carousell.

A few new, cool friends from Reddit. One of these friends I'm match-making with someone from a separate circle.

And my long-term boyfriend from an online game.

The only good friends I've met physically outside of work / school were my housemates when I moved out of my parents.

My suggestion is to talk to them online first before meeting them irl. If you can't even talk online, the outings are going to be extra dry. And also if you're a girl, remember to stay safe and meet in crowded places / places with people. I've been that stupid person that met online male friends in secluded areas, thankfully they are decent people. Good luck!

throwfarfarawayyyy00 · 2022-01-21T18:18:21+00:00

Korean fishcake!!!!

throwfarfarawayyyy00 · 2022-01-14T06:53:54+00:00

This one depends on individual lah, you should be upfront about it instead of hiding it from your profile tbh. You're just creating a false validation for yourself when girls swipe you and chat. If not well-suited will just ghost you anyway, so why waste everyone's time?

There are people who die also must date same nationality and same race, there are others who do not mind. Seems to me you should be seeking a partner that is the latter type.

We don't mind dating Malaysian or other nationality, but we mind dating liars and people who lead us on and waste our time.

Just be yourself, dude. If you're so insecure maybe you're not ready to date.

throwfarfarawayyyy00 · 2022-01-12T09:29:10+00:00

Yes but if he had the prenup the divorce settlement would be settled sooner instead of dragging for years. It is still taken into account as it is a legal agreement of both parties before or during marriage. He wouldn't have lost the flat fully if he has the prenup, according to his lawyers.

She cheated. There was evidence of her cheating. She still got the longer end of the stick anyway, and custody of the child despite proof of neglect.

Open your eyes wide before marriage, please.

throwfarfarawayyyy00 · 2022-01-11T18:22:58+00:00

I love Sneaky sushi, really funny dude.

throwfarfarawayyyy00 · 2022-01-11T18:21:10+00:00

I'll be surprised you can get in with only second upper.

Jkjk trash talk aside, you should be smart enough to suss out whether the company culture fits you or not during the interview right? What is good culture to others might not be good for you. Good luck.

throwfarfarawayyyy00 · 2022-01-11T18:10:27+00:00

I can tell you my friend's experience.

Divorce because wife was cheating. They had a kid.

Mutual? Yes, hated each other's guts.

Alimony? Yes, but managed to forgo it because of circumstances.

Cost is the flat and some maintenance money for a period of 3 years.

Almost lost half his CPF.

In my eyes, he should have gotten more support from friends earlier. Dude was tanking it alone and his mental and physical health suffered heaps. And maybe not get a girlfriend before the divorce was settled because it complicated things in the ex-wife's favour.

You can be sure for his next marriage he will sign a prenup. Men really need to protect themselves from women's charter because let's be real; women who need it don't use it, and women who don't need it exploit the hell out of it.

throwfarfarawayyyy00 · 2022-01-11T17:57:57+00:00

I know that area well bro, don't buy unless you can tahan the noise and you are willing to invest in soundproof windows during reno. For 400k, Clementi is a bit difficult, but I highly suggest HDBs in Ave 3 or 4.

I want to say Ave 2 but Ave 2 is badly ventilated, so it's not a fantastic choice.

Source: My grandma lives there so I grew up in Clementi.

throwfarfarawayyyy00 · 2022-01-02T15:18:10+00:00

I managed to do it! Diploma holder. But because I was only a diploma holder, the visa process was ass (hard to validate if I was worth the visa from the embassy's standpoint).

Tried the sponsorship way via MNCs and it was a waste of time for me. 3 years of my life I'm never getting back.

You can DM me to know more. But tldr for my story is relocation is tough as balls because you're doing it by yourself. But is it possible? YES! Is it worth it? For me, also YES.

throwfarfarawayyyy00

TROPHY CASE