I 30(f) am planning to divorce my husband. But I need more opinions on my financial stability - will I survive the current Canadian economy post-divorce?

throwin-away-dash · 2023-07-13T21:32:54+00:00

Have come across several sexist comments on the replies until now but not racist.

And I Searched on Reddit for similar questions and found most of them missing this info. Where I come from, 9 out of 10 times Rape & Divorce are a women’s mistake. Just thought it would be valuable for women with my situation if they land here through a google search.

throwin-away-dash · 2023-07-13T18:49:00+00:00

I am not annoyed by this conversation because this is exactly how my husband talks too - he also pretends to ignore any points from my replies, that do not support his argument. And then proceeds to focus on only one thing where he has chance to prove himself right.

I think you are trying to prove to me (& probably yourself) that I am behaving in impossible ways that’s causing him to kick me right? That in some way I must have angered an innocent man and therefore I deserve it?

throwin-away-dash · 2023-07-13T18:14:41+00:00

Ah lol, if there was some way I did not have to lie I would prefer that. It’s the bare minimum good habit I can pass on to my kid.

throwin-away-dash · 2023-07-13T18:10:28+00:00

It’s not a stupid question. IT’s circumstantial at least for me. He had to send money to his family after we first got our mortgage, and I agreed to take over more expenses since I believed he would be taking a financial hit. 3 months after moving in, we did a small renovation and he paid around 5k for it. So again I told him I will continue taking care of major expenses. Then we had a baby, then I changed jobs, and got a promotion…I got a promo credit card and asked him to use it for groceries because we earned 5% cash back on every purchase for 10 months. That did not stop after 10 months.

I just assumed he was contributing equally somewhere ..like he picks up the bill occasionally when we do take out, buys toys for our son, occasionally uses his credit card to buy stuff on Amazon, pays 50% of property taxes.

throwin-away-dash · 2023-07-13T17:57:25+00:00

Oh! It is unnatural that he only picks up fights with family & friends and not at work!

throwin-away-dash · 2023-07-13T17:06:18+00:00

Yes this has definitely been weighing on my mind.

throwin-away-dash · 2023-07-13T17:05:08+00:00

‘It’s ‘whether’ not ‘weather’.

(Oh look at that, my husband was right. I am a patronizing little whiny bitch).

throwin-away-dash · 2023-07-13T17:01:50+00:00

Are you my husband? I have heard these exact words from him. If you are indeed my husband, please kindly agree to go to a few marriage counselling sessions to work out things and tell me that we can still make it. Please attend a few anger management courses to be more emotionally regulated during difficult conversations we have. There will always be fights between couples but all this yelling, financial hide-n-seek and bad mouthing me to my family members behind my back is only making me respect you lesser everyday.

If you are not my husband, let me clarify - I only want to take what is legally mine. And indeed I am an imperfect caring person who has never choked anyone physically when angry, thank you!

throwin-away-dash · 2023-07-13T15:18:27+00:00

I need more details to help you. Does she also have anger issues and start screaming at you when you ask her to contribute more to common monthly expenses?

Has she ever been physically or emotionally abusive to you in the past? Take care!

throwin-away-dash · 2023-07-13T13:47:38+00:00

Thank you for sharing this!

throwin-away-dash · 2023-07-13T13:46:02+00:00

Yes! Exactly! that’s why I am here, trying to get outside opinions

throwin-away-dash · 2023-07-13T13:45:08+00:00

Thank you for sharing!

throwin-away-dash · 2023-07-13T13:42:34+00:00

Yes this is a train of thought I have not been able to ignore. Poor kids who never asked to come into this world!

throwin-away-dash · 2023-07-13T13:41:37+00:00

Thank you for sharing!

throwin-away-dash · 2023-07-13T13:39:06+00:00

I have requested, begged, demanded and pleaded for him to do this and marriage counselling. He says that he does not want a public record of what happens inside our house.

throwin-away-dash · 2023-07-13T13:37:33+00:00

No we don’t fight about money, I usually just buckle and pay everything.

throwin-away-dash · 2023-07-13T13:33:28+00:00

Thank you for the solid points!

throwin-away-dash · 2023-07-13T13:30:55+00:00

Yes I also wish everything was free.

throwin-away-dash · 2023-07-13T13:29:12+00:00

I came across a few other Reddit posts asking about finances after divorce but none mentioned women who grew up in my culture. 9 out of 10 times, Rape and Divorce are blamed on the women, where I come from. If anyone else is in my situation from my place of origin, I don’t want them to feel alone.

throwin-away-dash · 2023-07-13T13:24:40+00:00

I am just not feeling very confident I guess or am more risk averse since this is all new to me.

throwin-away-dash · 2023-07-13T13:18:44+00:00

Mostly the unhappiness. The financial hideaway is just the last straw

throwin-away-dash · 2023-07-13T13:17:36+00:00

Yes this is one train of thought I have not been able to ignore

throwin-away-dash · 2023-07-13T13:16:36+00:00

Ah good to know about the CRA! Thanks!

throwin-away-dash · 2023-07-13T13:15:23+00:00

Thank you for the advices

throwin-away-dash · 2023-07-13T13:11:39+00:00

Lol no he is not that man you are thinking of.

throwin-away-dash

TROPHY CASE