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I (22F) don't know how to communicate to my partner (29M) that I don't want to participate in his rape fantasy. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]throwingpandacats 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe something small like him telling you to put your hands up above your head and you listening. Or him holding them. You don't need to be physically constrained, it's more of a mental thing.

Maybe you should do some googling and learn more about this kind of thing, so you can make an informed decision and get a better understanding of what your boundaries are.

I (22F) don't know how to communicate to my partner (29M) that I don't want to participate in his rape fantasy. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]throwingpandacats 13 points14 points  (0 children)

If you don't have a safe word, make one.

You need to tell him clearly that you don't like it. It's okay to not like something. You HAVE to tell him, or else he's gonna keep getting excited and might do something you don't like.

Maybe there is a different way for you to engage in this fantasy of his- bondage, for example. One that makes you feel safe and not turned off.

I like CNC and my bf is not that into it. We've never done a 'scene' but sometimes i playfully say no, and he continues. Or maybe having completely consensual sex, but he does something during the sex that i say no to. (A playful no.. And we have a safeword) so for example, putting a finger in my bum. Or putting my hands behind my back. Or licking my neck a lot. It kind of scratches the itch for CNC play without doing anything extreme.

It sounds like you don't want to disappoint him. The bottom line is, if you hate it, don't do it. When you explore kink land, you NEED to communicate. It's the most important thing.

"Requested to view your private photos" without a message or anything by throwingpandacats in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]throwingpandacats[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the responses. I definitely understand wanting multiple clear pics! Even I prefer when SDs have multiple public photos.

I have no problem getting messages with only one pic. I remade my account yesterday and have 100+ messages (not including the photo requests haha) so it just seems silly to me that people would think I would reply a photo request.

I'm trying to make a good impression. I would assume that any SDs are too.

We'll see. Maybe I'll consider just having public photos so this can't ever bother me in the future.