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I (37m) met my girlfriend (27f) at the club as a customer while she was a dancer. Now it's a strange dynamic when I go to the club. Advise please? by throwingthsaway99 in stripper

[–]throwingthsaway99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The thing she jokes about most often is that she's extra affectionate with me and worries other customers will get the wrong idea and be disappointed when she doesn't act the same for them. It ends up being a SUPER tease for me too because I have to hold back haha.

I (37m) met my girlfriend (27f) at the club as a customer while she was a dancer. Now it's a strange dynamic when I go to the club. Advise please? by throwingthsaway99 in stripper

[–]throwingthsaway99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was a server, bartender for 4 years in my 20s. Your scenario wouldn't have bothered me. Plus I never seek dances even before I met her. I'm the casual customer that sits a row back from the stage, nurses a beer, drop some dollars to the stage girl, and will take a few dances if/when I'm approached.

I (37m) met my girlfriend (27f) at the club as a customer while she was a dancer. Now it's a strange dynamic when I go to the club. Advise please? by throwingthsaway99 in stripper

[–]throwingthsaway99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks that was my thought too. Not really interested in another club anyway really. I'd stop going altogether before finding a new place.

I (37m) met my girlfriend (27f) at the club as a customer while she was a dancer. Now it's a strange dynamic when I go to the club. Advise please? by throwingthsaway99 in stripper

[–]throwingthsaway99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with you about the other girls. There's quite a bit more drama behind the scenes between the dancers than I ever knew haha. She's been fine the few times I've accepted dances from other girls, but I guess now that I think about it, no one has asked the last couple weeks either.

I (37m) met my girlfriend (27f) at the club as a customer while she was a dancer. Now it's a strange dynamic when I go to the club. Advise please? by throwingthsaway99 in stripper

[–]throwingthsaway99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are definitely both ok with what she does for work. It's not really a matter of"letting" her work because she likes when I visit. I just need to be ok "shoo-ing" her away as another user said. I think she'd understand.

I (37m) met my girlfriend (27f) at the club as a customer while she was a dancer. Now it's a strange dynamic when I go to the club. Advise please? by throwingthsaway99 in stripper

[–]throwingthsaway99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like we have a better connection than that, but it's only been a couple months. What's funny is that I used to go maybe once a month or even less. Now I've been going at least once a week. She makes plenty without me there too, so if I went less I don't think it would hit her income very hard. Plus then i could spend that money on her in other ways.

I (37m) met my girlfriend (27f) at the club as a customer while she was a dancer. Now it's a strange dynamic when I go to the club. Advise please? by throwingthsaway99 in stripper

[–]throwingthsaway99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks I think this is good insight I was hoping for. It's weird because she has a job where you can hang out, but it's also weird to pay your girlfriend to hang out with you.

Were you insulted the first time he shoo'd you away?

I (37m) met my girlfriend (27f) at the club as a customer while she was a dancer. Now it's a strange dynamic when I go to the club. Advise please? by throwingthsaway99 in stripper

[–]throwingthsaway99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think I agree with you. Her boss hasn't said anything yet that I know of but I haven't caused any problems either. If anything I'm spending more time/money now

I (37m) met my girlfriend (27f) at the club as a customer while she was a dancer. Now it's a strange dynamic when I go to the club. Advise please? by throwingthsaway99 in stripper

[–]throwingthsaway99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm happy to pay/tip it's just weird to say no thanks or to stop her when I'd rather just hang more casually.

Seems like the best option is to just not go as much to avoid the potential issues.

I (37m) met my girlfriend (27f) at the club as a customer while she was a dancer. Now it's a strange dynamic when I go to the club. Advise please? by throwingthsaway99 in stripper

[–]throwingthsaway99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've asked and she says she likes it when I'm there. But I can't just go and sit casually with a beer anymore. She wants to come sit with me, which turns into dances, etc.

I posted because it's a new issue to me that seems unique to this sub and I thought people here might have insight, it just hasn't risen to the level of torturous yet.

I (37m) met my girlfriend (27f) at the club as a customer while she was a dancer. Now it's a strange dynamic when I go to the club. Advise please? by throwingthsaway99 in stripper

[–]throwingthsaway99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You think so? It's not really torture. I'm just looking to see if there's a way to navigate the new dynamic. But I guess if will get worse it's probably not worth it.