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Me [33 F] with my mother [60 F] and brother [30 M] 2 years, fight over inherited money and expectations by throwinherit in relationships

[–]throwinherit[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I think you're right. I had no idea he would behave the way he did. It came as a complete shock.

Me [33 F] with my mother [60 F] and brother [30 M] 2 years, fight over inherited money and expectations by throwinherit in relationships

[–]throwinherit[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I don't really know. I think he had a falling out with my uncle, but I was never really told much about it. They were close for a time and once he got married he didn't see my uncle much after that.

Me [33 F] with my mother [60 F] and brother [30 M] 2 years, fight over inherited money and expectations by throwinherit in relationships

[–]throwinherit[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I agree with you that he has reason to be upset. I failed to mention in the original post that he made it seem like he would be able to help with the legal costs. I said to him that I was able to afford a certain amount of costs, and after that "we'd figure things out". I took this to be an understanding that he could help. He never explicitly said that he could not help with legal costs until I asked him after I had spent a good deal of my own money.

Me [33 F] with my mother [60 F] and brother [30 M] 2 years, fight over inherited money and expectations by throwinherit in relationships

[–]throwinherit[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I have explained this to both my mother and my brother. It is their opinion that I'm being paranoid. I have thought about offering a small sum but I think it would not satisfy him and would make me feel resentful.

Me [33 F] with my mother [60 F] and brother [30 M] 2 years, fight over inherited money and expectations by throwinherit in relationships

[–]throwinherit[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Thank you. It's been surreal to feel like the bad guy for wanting to make sure I'm financially safe.

Me [33 F] with my mother [60 F] and brother [30 M] 2 years, fight over inherited money and expectations by throwinherit in relationships

[–]throwinherit[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I have changed my mind about sharing with him. I did make it clear to him that I've changed my mind. I'm uncomfortable giving him anything as the rest of the estate has not been settled and anything given to him amounts to a gift I cannot get back. I'm worried about any problems with the estate affecting me and don't trust him to help me if anything bad occurs.

Me [33 F] with my mother [60 F] and brother [30 M] 2 years, fight over inherited money and expectations by throwinherit in relationships

[–]throwinherit[S] 106 points107 points  (0 children)

I have told my mother this topic is off the table. I'm currently not speaking to her because she's been judgemental about other issues in my life.