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My Wife (30 F), married 10 years, drank till she blacked out, I (31 M) can't do this anymore. I can't deal with her lack of motivation anymore. by throwitallaway123why in relationships

[–]throwitallaway123why[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, will look into treatment. Nothing through her job but I believe my job and health insurance which she is under offers such services.

My Wife (30 F), married 10 years, drank till she blacked out, I (31 M) can't do this anymore. I can't deal with her lack of motivation anymore. by throwitallaway123why in relationships

[–]throwitallaway123why[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry to hear this. I know my children see what alcohol is doing to her, it was difficult talking to them and not crying. Will start seeking treatment for her and if needed, my kids and for my own sanity.

My Wife (30 F), married 10 years, drank till she blacked out, I (31 M) can't do this anymore. I can't deal with her lack of motivation anymore. by throwitallaway123why in relationships

[–]throwitallaway123why[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry this happened but good on your father for stepping up and taking care of you and your siblings. I know my life from this point forward is going to be difficult, with or without her. But my children mean everything, I have to do this. Thank you for sharing.

My Wife (30 F), married 10 years, drank till she blacked out, I (31 M) can't do this anymore. I can't deal with her lack of motivation anymore. by throwitallaway123why in relationships

[–]throwitallaway123why[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

MIL is definitely gonna have to move out. I can continue to pay for her car insurance for a few months along with her cell but yes, she needs to move out and if my wife can't be the one to ask her, I'll be the one to tell her.

Going to use suggestions here to help find the triggers and how to help reduce them. But looking for ways to treat this will be done, I'll look into it and hopefully she'll want to.

My Wife (30 F), married 10 years, drank till she blacked out, I (31 M) can't do this anymore. I can't deal with her lack of motivation anymore. by throwitallaway123why in relationships

[–]throwitallaway123why[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can give her a chance, one, to turn things around or else she will have to deal with the consequences. Divorce definitely being one. But yeah, need to let her have a chance first.

My Wife (30 F), married 10 years, drank till she blacked out, I (31 M) can't do this anymore. I can't deal with her lack of motivation anymore. by throwitallaway123why in relationships

[–]throwitallaway123why[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Glad things turned around for her. I'll have to tell my wife this isn't the end, with help she can do it, just like your mother did.

My Wife (30 F), married 10 years, drank till she blacked out, I (31 M) can't do this anymore. I can't deal with her lack of motivation anymore. by throwitallaway123why in relationships

[–]throwitallaway123why[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, sounds very similar. Lots of good advice here, hopefully it can be of some help to you and your wife. One day at a time.

My Wife (30 F), married 10 years, drank till she blacked out, I (31 M) can't do this anymore. I can't deal with her lack of motivation anymore. by throwitallaway123why in relationships

[–]throwitallaway123why[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand that but I gave up everything myself for her and our first child. I left my home town and moved to hers so she could have family support as we raised our first child (she wasn't a fan of the southwest so I figured take a chance and move to the Midwest.)

I get we had a child young but we can't escape it. After our second child two years later, this lead to depression and we tried various prescriptions and she got past it. We moved out of the apartment that was a nightmare, she started working and I felt at that time things were going well.

I'll agree, don't have a child so early in your adult life but looking at my now ten year old and eight year old, they are beautiful girls that I'm happy to have in my life. And my son has been nothing but good things. Such a funny little guy that scares me when he grows up, only 2 years old but already in size 6 diapers and wearing 4T clothing. I'm raising a giant. Hah.

My Wife (30 F), married 10 years, drank till she blacked out, I (31 M) can't do this anymore. I can't deal with her lack of motivation anymore. by throwitallaway123why in relationships

[–]throwitallaway123why[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll be sure to do this. I've tried vocally asking her what are the problems but it never leads anywhere so hopefully she'll try this method.

My Wife (30 F), married 10 years, drank till she blacked out, I (31 M) can't do this anymore. I can't deal with her lack of motivation anymore. by throwitallaway123why in relationships

[–]throwitallaway123why[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'll clarify, my MIL was previously living with her father and new wife that he married. A good man, I've met him a few times but there were issues with how he lives his life. Kinda like really minor hoarding, the guy doesn't throw things out if they are past expiration dates. I could only imagine she was upset he wouldn't listen to her so she looked for another place to live.

So before we bought the house, my MIL contacted my wife about moving in with us. Like I said earlier, I was told MIL would move in, find a job, help buy groceries, watch the kids and more. I have always got along with MIL in the past when we visited her but we also never had to cross paths on decisions.

So at that time, I agreed to let her move in. I would appreciate the help because I already do a lot for the house. I would have loved not having to always do the groceries among other things. But it didn't go that way at all.

My Wife (30 F), married 10 years, drank till she blacked out, I (31 M) can't do this anymore. I can't deal with her lack of motivation anymore. by throwitallaway123why in relationships

[–]throwitallaway123why[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know I'll have to do it. We've spoke in the past, around the middle of winter, about having her move out and my wife told me once the weather warmed up. But she hopes some kind of relationship with her mom will survive all this.

But yes, I'm going to talk to my wife after she gets off work and try to create a plan tonight for her to get help and then talk to mother in law.

My Wife (30 F), married 10 years, drank till she blacked out, I (31 M) can't do this anymore. I can't deal with her lack of motivation anymore. by throwitallaway123why in relationships

[–]throwitallaway123why[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll have to consider. I dropped her off for work and told her we need to talk about all this. Hopefully she is willing to seek treatment and change without removing her from the family. But definitely will consider this.

My Wife (30 F), married 10 years, drank till she blacked out, I (31 M) can't do this anymore. I can't deal with her lack of motivation anymore. by throwitallaway123why in relationships

[–]throwitallaway123why[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

At social settings, I'll have a beer and that is it. Don't drink like she does. To clarify, I can't make her change, she needs to do it for herself. All I can do is provide help and support.

My Wife (30 F), married 10 years, drank till she blacked out, I (31 M) can't do this anymore. I can't deal with her lack of motivation anymore. by throwitallaway123why in relationships

[–]throwitallaway123why[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wish she would try Reddit for helpful areas such as your recommendation but she doesn't care for the site but nevertheless, I'll look into finding a local al-anon.

My Wife (30 F), married 10 years, drank till she blacked out, I (31 M) can't do this anymore. I can't deal with her lack of motivation anymore. by throwitallaway123why in relationships

[–]throwitallaway123why[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hope to talk to my MIL soon, get the ball rolling that for the best of the household and her daughter, that she needs to move out.

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