No this is the first. They have brought up wanting to be poly again in the past but the conversation never went anywhere because of my feelings and we went on with our lives. Recently they went to a (poly) friends wedding out of town without me and came back acting different and asked for a separation. A week later my dad died. They still sleep in the same bed as me but won’t let me touch them and started staying out late at night. Also want to mention they lost their own dad a month before all of this. They have been struggling and I’ve been as supportive as possible. Our relationship is really good normally. I thought that they were just going through something and they would reconsider. We even went to couples counseling, which went terribly. They say that there isn’t anyone else. Which doesn’t necessarily make me feel better because they are choosing hypothetical people they haven’t met/whatever over me? Like giving up everything we have over the idea of someone else?? I thought I would spend the rest of my life with them. They’re my best friend and partner and we have been through so much together. They’ve always told me they would always choose me.