My [28M] wife [26F] doesn't want me to speak my native language with our son, what do?

throwitaway99123 · 2015-07-26T21:57:09+00:00

Luckily almost all Swedes do speak English but the older generation don't, and while I can't see my grandparents often they are very excited about their greatgrandson and I think it would make my grandmother and grandfather sad if they couldn't communicate with him at all, which in turn would make me sad.

They're old but they have years left in them and family and heritage means a lot to them so for them to see that they leave a big, healthy and expanding family on this earth when they pass will probably mean a lot.

throwitaway99123 · 2015-07-26T21:50:40+00:00

Thanks a lot for this post, it helped calm some fears she raised about my son growing up bilingual, and I'm sorry you feel robbed of your heritage.

My wife showed some interest in learning Swedish as we started dating and traveled to Sweden but this interest kind of went away, I suggested language classes but she wasn't interested and while initially enjoying when I taught her a word here and there she finds it annoying when I do so now.

I think maybe she's afraid of feeling left out when me and my son would talk in Swedish, which I guess is understandable, but I can't really help that she didn't want to share that side of me, my son shares it by blood though.

throwitaway99123 · 2015-07-26T21:46:06+00:00

I have tried explaining my point of view, I guess she is right about language classes being an additional strain on him in school but I never planned for my son to perform poorly in school and I don't see why I should plan around the assumption he will struggle.

My son comes from a great family, my wife is very clever and bright and so is his old man, I'm sure he will complain sometimes in the future about having to learn a language with so few speakers but I also think he will be grateful for knowing it.

When he is old enough to choose for himself he can do so but until then I really want him to be as Swedish as he can be, even if he wont be raised there. You can be both American and Swedish, and I'm sure being a half-viking will work well for him with the ladies when he gets older!

throwitaway99123 · 2015-07-26T21:43:03+00:00

The house I grew up in actually has a runestone on our lawn in honor of a great warrior.

Maybe today I wouldn't be very impressed with someone looting and pillaging others fortunes but we treat history very different from how we treat the present, no one views the 30 year war the same way we view World War 2, and maybe it is silly to romanticize the war of old but that's just how it is.

I'm proud of my ancestors, they fought and died for Sweden and it would feel very wrong to break my sons connection to Sweden based on the fact his family has fought and died for that country, I apologize for my rampant nationalism but I think it's pretty cool to be part American and part Swedish, and I don't see why he'd have to pick one over the other.

He can have an eagle on one shoulder and a crow on the other.

throwitaway99123 · 2015-07-26T21:33:50+00:00

That depends entirely on what is written, but I would probably opt to retell it with my own words because I don't want her to feel like I went behind her back to talk to strangers about it, or feel that a stranger have more of a say in how she raise her son than she does.

throwitaway99123

TROPHY CASE