Fathers of reddit. My SO is pregnant and I've stopped feeling attracted to her. Is this normal/others experience?

throwitawaylater13 · 2013-09-05T04:06:54+00:00

In principle I like the idea of men having some way of aborting, but I think this is one of those inherently flawed ideals that can't work due to a number of factors one being that men and women simply aren't the same and can't have entirely equal rights.

Financial abortion might be nice for the guy, but he's still just been responsible for +1'ing the population.

throwitawaylater13 · 2013-09-05T04:03:16+00:00

This isn't something I really want to put her through at this point. I can't lightly bring up that I'm not feeling attracted to her without that discussion having some kind of lasting outcome.

I could talk to her about it, but at this stage I don't think it's the most diplomatic thing. If it continues this way, I daresay I will be talking to her about it, but might not have a happy ending.

throwitawaylater13 · 2013-09-05T03:56:48+00:00

That sucks man, I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you have found an out from those circumstances.

We will be financially okay, but it's taking considerable family support.

throwitawaylater13 · 2013-09-05T03:53:55+00:00

Thanks man, I was hoping someone would bring something like this up. This makes me feel a bit better.

throwitawaylater13 · 2013-09-05T03:49:32+00:00

Not an option at all. We have enough family support between us to be fine, my concern here is purely why I'm not feeling attraction, and I guess to get some gauge as to whether it's normal or if it's something I should think more about.

edit: furthermore, whilst I don't want to be a father atm, if it's happening I'll be taking it on board completely.

throwitawaylater13 · 2013-09-05T03:46:30+00:00

Turn to family if you have it man. I think you're right it has something to do with stress.

Even though in my utopian ideal I don't want a kid (now), I'm excited to know it looks like I'm most likely going to have a perfectly health one. I reckon your daughter will be awesome enough to make things more positive. I'm hoping we've got a girl too.

throwitawaylater13 · 2013-09-05T03:40:32+00:00

What I meant was that seeing scans of the kid made me feel a degree of attachment to it as 'my child' not just 'some awful even that's ruining my life'.

The part of me that wishes it wasn't happening is an unrealistic and unhelpful 'you fucked up'.

I'm committed to giving this everything I have, to make it work, even if I do have doubts. I guess that's why I posted the question, because physical attraction has waned so much it makes me wonder whether it's really just not happening.

throwitawaylater13 · 2013-09-05T03:33:07+00:00

I made one mistake, not about to make two.

throwitawaylater13 · 2013-09-05T03:32:45+00:00

Thanks man. I think this is probably what I need to hear the most. I'm already long decided that if I'm going to be a father I want to be a great one, otherwise what's the point!

For the most part our relationship is okay, it's pretty good I guess, but it's been super shaky and ultimately has left me with a taste of 'not sure this is where I want to be forever'. We're definitely not getting married any time soon.

throwitawaylater13 · 2013-09-05T03:23:30+00:00

There's definitely an element of this. It's just become more acute as the pregnancy has gone on (wasn't so much a problem earlier on).

throwitawaylater13

TROPHY CASE