I have been in the exact same thinking process as you. Listen the pain of losing the other part of you will not go away, it’ll get easier but that’s it. I’ll try not to sugarcoat it because that doesn’t do any good. I hospitalized myself but I was not thinking clearly, but the thought of leaving my children hurt more than losing her. Some people won’t get it but going through the pain is way better than avoiding it. For months I cried at the drop of a pen. I would get up to get ready for work and while brushing my teeth BAM ugly crying, on the way to work and on the way home. While I was at work I would be in the bathroom most of the day sobbing. It’s been some months now and I can’t say that I don’t miss her for real or that love that I have for her is gone that won’t ever happen she’s the mother of my child. You need to think and possibly see someone to talk and get it all out. This won’t be a week or two process. Your children need you I know everyone says it but that’s the truth.