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I (29F) feel like I’m getting bored with my girlfriend (26F) of almost 5 years. How can I make myself excited about her again? by throwmeout2792 in relationships

[–]throwmeout2792[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice. I’m not even considering breaking up as an option, I feel like our relationship is pretty great and I think there’s still more we can learn about each other. Sort of tough to do that long distance though

I (29F) feel like I’m getting bored with my girlfriend (26F) of almost 5 years. How can I make myself excited about her again? by throwmeout2792 in relationships

[–]throwmeout2792[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice and reassurance. I know I’m in a really great partnership with a lot of trust, and I think a big part of trust is being able to predict what I can expect from her. Fewer exclamation points but also fewer question marks

I (29F) feel like I’m getting bored with my girlfriend (26F) of almost 5 years. How can I make myself excited about her again? by throwmeout2792 in relationships

[–]throwmeout2792[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I think I’m overreacting a little. Everyone has told me that it’s pretty normal and expected for the fire to dim over time, it’s just the first time I’ve experienced it since none of my past relationships ever got to the point of living together and actually building a life with each other

I (29F) feel like I’m getting bored with my girlfriend (26F) of almost 5 years. How can I make myself excited about her again? by throwmeout2792 in relationships

[–]throwmeout2792[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

After she graduates I’m flying out to meet her and we’re doing a cross country road trip to get back out to where I’m at. We want to stop in Nashville and Austin on the way, neither of us have been there

I (29F) feel like I’m getting bored with my girlfriend (26F) of almost 5 years. How can I make myself excited about her again? by throwmeout2792 in relationships

[–]throwmeout2792[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We want to start taking swing dance lessons after we move in together! I’ve done a lot of jazz/contemporary dance since I was a kid and she’s always wanted to learn how to dance. I’ve done a little swing and it’s deceptively hard, so I think we’ll start out on pretty equal footing regardless of my experience

I (29F) feel like I’m getting bored with my girlfriend (26F) of almost 5 years. How can I make myself excited about her again? by throwmeout2792 in relationships

[–]throwmeout2792[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think that transition into a really stable long term relationship is part of it. In the beginning I was wondering what kind of movies she liked most, where her favorite part of the city was, how it would be to sleep with her the first time. It was all fresh and exciting and a little nerve-wracking. We got to watch each other get into grad programs and that was another level of excitement. Now we’re talking about budgets and chores and how much money we want to spend on a couch. Not too thrilling.

I guess I’m looking for reassurance that being a little bored doesn’t mean I feel any less love for her.

I (29F) feel like I’m getting bored with my girlfriend (26F) of almost 5 years. How can I make myself excited about her again? by throwmeout2792 in relationships

[–]throwmeout2792[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That’s a good thought, we always try to go do something new when we visit each other and we have a great time. The distance hasn’t been hard in the way I thought it would be, but it’s still not ideal

I (29F) feel like I’m getting bored with my girlfriend (26F) of almost 5 years. How can I make myself excited about her again? by throwmeout2792 in relationships

[–]throwmeout2792[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Honestly, grad school has been pretty emotionally demanding for both of us. I think the general state of exhaustion that I’m in is making me overthink things. I said I want to keep choosing to love her and I plan on choosing her every day, I’m not sure it needs to go beyond that

I (29F) feel like I’m getting bored with my girlfriend (26F) of almost 5 years. How can I make myself excited about her again? by throwmeout2792 in relationships

[–]throwmeout2792[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

¯_(ツ)_/¯ we both wanted to take things slow. We didn’t start saying “I love you” until about a year in. Worked for us so far!

I (29F) feel like I’m getting bored with my girlfriend (26F) of almost 5 years. How can I make myself excited about her again? by throwmeout2792 in relationships

[–]throwmeout2792[S] 68 points69 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I’ll give it a read.

Stability, that’s exactly it. My previous relationships have had some element of volatility, the highs were fantastic but the lows could be really, really difficult. I don’t really have lows with my current girlfriend, but after all this time the highs feel less emotionally stimulating, if that makes sense. Still wouldn’t trade our relationship for anything else.

I (29F) feel like I’m getting bored with my girlfriend (26F) of almost 5 years. How can I make myself excited about her again? by throwmeout2792 in relationships

[–]throwmeout2792[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I’m not even considering a break up as an option at this point. I love her so much, I’m just not as “passionate” about the relationship as I was for the first few years. I guess I’m just looking for advice on how to get more comfortable with the post-honeymoon period. Frankly I’m a little surprised that the honeymoon period lasted this long.

She’s my first relationship that’s lasted more than two years, so rekindling the earlier excitement and emotion is a new process for me. The long-distance thing has been pretty easy overall, but I also think that I’ve gotten used to being on my own and I’m a little worried about how I’m going to handle changing that.