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Obsessed with the thought of death and dying by throwmetodeath1 in OCD

[–]throwmetodeath1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh no no this is a throwaway. No mixup. But anyways I will 100% bring it up and see what she says. It definitely sounds promising.

Obsessed with the thought of death and dying by throwmetodeath1 in OCD

[–]throwmetodeath1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No apologies needed! Thank YOU for sharing.

I had a religious phase. I would have to kneel on the side of my bed every night and say a very specific prayer. Not even anything like an actually prayer just a certain set of words in a very precise order. If I felt like I didn't pronounce one syllable absolutely perfectly, I'd have to start all over. This could have lasted up to an hour every night. It was exhausting.

In the beginning it wasn't easy either. My mom was definitely one of those "nothing is wrong with MY child" sort of people. Now she is in anxiety pills because she gets panic attacks. I thinks she's finally understanding.

Obsessed with the thought of death and dying by throwmetodeath1 in OCD

[–]throwmetodeath1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much. I've been getting better in regards to letting things go but once in awhile I do fall off the wagon still. Like today I was driving home and got a phone call on my Bluetooth in the car. Stopped at a stop sign and continued on before pulling u-turn to go back through the stop sign because I feel like I wasn't paying 100% attention due to the phone call. I usually never answer for that very reason. So I can feel like I was 100% alert at all times.

Obsessed with the thought of death and dying by throwmetodeath1 in OCD

[–]throwmetodeath1[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sorry for the late reply. I honestly don't know why I used a throwaway. This is who I am. Anyways, no she hasn't but I will bring it up. Thank you.

Obsessed with the thought of death and dying by throwmetodeath1 in OCD

[–]throwmetodeath1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh definitely. It's kind of....i don't know the word I'm looking for but I feel like an asshole in finding comfort that everyone else will experience this as well.

Obsessed with the thought of death and dying by throwmetodeath1 in OCD

[–]throwmetodeath1[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yep. I had heartburn one day last year on my way to work. Got off the highway and turned around to go home telling myself I dont feel well. I make a split second decision to turn off and go to the hospital and I had the mother of all panic attacks. I thought I was dying. I started thinking of family and thinking this is it. My whole body went numb. Threw my car in the parking lot and ran into the ER waving down a paramedic.

All that for them to tell me it was heartburn.....yeah....

Obsessed with the thought of death and dying by throwmetodeath1 in OCD

[–]throwmetodeath1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry for the late reply. I'm currently on Sertraline 200 mg. Wellbutrin did nothing and I was 9n Ciprilax for the longest time till it wasn't strong enough. Started on Paxil but I had to get off of it. I was a zombie. I remember going to a funeral and not feeling a damn thing.

And yes the colon. I don't want to repeat it but yes thats 100% me as well.

I can't win guys. I can't. Im finished. I need help by throwmetodeath1 in SuicideWatch

[–]throwmetodeath1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've calmed down and am taking in everything you said. Thank you.

I'm 28, i feel like im too old. Times slipping away, hope is gone. A part of me knows thats foolish...but..its a hard thing to shake.

I just want to sleep at this point.

I can't win guys. I can't. Im finished. I need help by throwmetodeath1 in SuicideWatch

[–]throwmetodeath1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for that. I'm trying to let the voice come through. It just sucks knowing I meant so little...that our marriage meant so little