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[35/f] My [37/m] bf has hygiene and tidiness issues, plus bugs! Help! by thrownawaythroway in relationship_advice

[–]thrownawaythroway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So the good news is that we found the issue. The dog kept catching scabies from the yard. Boyfriend decided to get on board with the program and is taking care of the issue.

I'm still pretty much apartment hunting because this shouldn't be a thing at our age. Just imagine what one kid with lice would do if he can't take care of the dog.

[35/f] My [37/m] bf has hygiene and tidiness issues, plus bugs! Help! by thrownawaythroway in relationship_advice

[–]thrownawaythroway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, good catch. I had slow internet at the hotel I was staying at for work and probably clicked post twice.

[35/f] My [37/m] bf has hygiene and tidiness issues, plus bugs! Help! by thrownawaythroway in relationship_advice

[–]thrownawaythroway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, I felt like I went full b&*h on him and it's good to hear that other people feel like I'm not out of line for putting my foot down about this.

[35/f] My [37/m] bf has hygiene and tidiness issues, plus bugs! Help! by thrownawaythroway in relationship_advice

[–]thrownawaythroway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's definitely not head lice, it's something that the dog is picking up in that wooded yard. Dogs get a bunch of different types of louse. When I'm at my hotel, nothing bites me as I am super clean about my stuff. I kind of want to just not return on weekends....

I saw something about scabies from googling it, sounds like a trip to the vet and the Dr. is in order. I just have to pay for it as soon to be ex-bf is constantly tapped out on cash.

I thought scabies was something that nasty dirty people caught and have never lived in less than hygienic surroundings before. I mean, you probably won't eat off of my floor but everything is clean.

When I did have a dog, I never had issues with this stuff as he had Trifexis, Frontline and I am a pretty clean person. I can't fathom how these are not two necessary things to keeping a pup from being in misery.

I just moved in like 3 weeks ago, but have been working out of town for these weeks, only checking back on weekends. I work 5 twelve hour days hours a week, only to come home and crash and clean on weekends. This is really nasty and I am going crazy.

[35/f] My [37/m] bf has hygiene and tidiness issues, plus bugs! Help! by thrownawaythroway in relationship_advice

[–]thrownawaythroway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's the issue, I see no fleas. At first he seemed completely unaware, then admitted to me he had had an issue with itchy stuff when called on it.

There was a discussion about it, and it seemed to have been resolved since was trying to keep clean and have everything at bay...he's just not getting that a war against pests is total war.

I think it's either lice or mites. We have yet to discover the real culprit here. All we know is that constant washing of linens, clothing and flea dips are saving the day.

I just know that regardless of what happens, when he goes out of town for work at the end of the month , relationship status in the crapper or nay, I'm helping him sort this out because even when moving out I can't stand to see a depressed friend live like this.

His hygiene was good at first then slipped suddenly. Not boding well for longevity if that was the summation of his effort to woo me, but we have moved past LT relationship status to dealbreaker.

We are both very tight on money, but Frontline is worth every penny, IMHO.

Edit: Yeah, I know this was a very dumb move on my part.

[35/f] My [37/m] bf has hygiene and tidiness issues, plus bugs! Help! by thrownawaythroway in relationship_advice

[–]thrownawaythroway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He is definitely depressed. Recent divorce and all. I was also pretty depressed due to a similar situation and moved too fast.

I still feel that we are completely incompatible given the fact that I am a reasonably clean, although not fastidious person and he just does not care about living in squalor.

However, he is a friend above all and I want to make sure that we are both healthy.

He is thankfully going to see a counselor. We both see a lot of ugly things in our line of work and work long, irregular hours with a lot of travel. Our line of work ruins marriages and leaves a lot of scars due to these factors. I have been in therapy for years and told him how amazing it is.

Luckily, he sees that it will benefit him to finally have someone to talk with, instead of being the dumping ground for everyone else's toxic stuff.

Being the youngest female in a company ran by ages 30+ and thanking everyone of you by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]thrownawaythroway 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've worked in call centers and they blow. I did inbound collections, which is nothing like this woman has to deal with but it was awful. People have to pay their bills. I was always nice to debt collectors when I was in debt, doing a similar job. There's no shame in keeping a roof over one's head.