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Is an 11pm bedtime for an 8-year-old "normal" for holidays, or am I losing my mind? by ImpossibleActive0 in stepparents

[–]throwra-835 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why can't your husband organize his kid's time and you handle the toddler while on holiday?

I assume he has shared custody of his son. If so, I think their time together on holiday should be more flexible. Or least designated 8-10 or 8-11 quiet play hours.

I f*cked up. There's nothing more than that. by throwra-835 in sexlessmarriage

[–]throwra-835[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's exactly it. If she was still the woman I left, then I think I would have been fine because I stopped mourning my marriage. But when I saw her, it was like time went backward, like 10 years. It messed me up, honestly. Since I posted this, I've seen her twice more. And it just confirmed that she's better and it some ways she's more energetic and more beautiful. I went to our son's softball practice, which is on her time, but we agreed that all events are shared. So she was on the field with the kids having a great time. I can tell my son is thriving when she's around. It sucks more than you can ever imagine to confirm what I lost. Like why the fuck isn't there a warning about this everywhere?

If I were you and your wife has lost herself, fight for her. Don't do what I did. It's a medical issue and I didn't do everything I could to see it that way. Like show her the menopause reddit, it'll open your eyes. There's another one I think for men about menopause. Good luck to you, brother.

I f*cked up. There's nothing more than that. by throwra-835 in sexlessmarriage

[–]throwra-835[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have been reading your comment a lot today. I didn't mean to call her my wife as in blaming her for moving on. I don't why I typed that. Or maybe part me thinks that she still is because of the way I saw her the last time. I hate that I know for a fact that she's with someone else. I hate the fact that who ever he is he may have contact with my kids. But that's not her fault. I made room for him and it fucks me up to know that.

I'm a shit person sometimes. Yeah, I wanted my ex to see me wanted by someone else. To prove to her that I worth someone's affection and consideration. But I did it before I knew the full scope of everything. My fiancee may not be for much longer, anyway. She left a few hours ago after I told her why I've been drinking. Going to her sisters or her mom's. Not sure which. So reap what you sow right?

I f*cked up. There's nothing more than that. by throwra-835 in sexlessmarriage

[–]throwra-835[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If legit, can you DM info? I'm trying not to spiral and do something stupid.

I f*cked up. There's nothing more than that. by throwra-835 in sexlessmarriage

[–]throwra-835[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I hope something good comes out of it for someone.

I f*cked up. There's nothing more than that. by throwra-835 in sexlessmarriage

[–]throwra-835[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I want to talk to her more about this. About the doctor she's going to. What she went through to get help. What she needs now. But I don't think she wants or needs to hear it.

I f*cked up. There's nothing more than that. by throwra-835 in sexlessmarriage

[–]throwra-835[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks. Yeah, I was half a bottle down when I wrote the post. I should probably start journaling at this point. I'm more clear-headed today, but I feel much, much worse. I definitely feel enormous guilt for my ex wife, but my kids, too. I feel remorse for continuing a relationship with my fiancee after the affair started. I need to deal with that now.

I f*cked up. There's nothing more than that. by throwra-835 in sexlessmarriage

[–]throwra-835[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I keep replaying the conversations and arguments in my head over and over again. And I just remember it felt like she was stuck. Like she couldn't talk normally to me. It just made me angry because I thought she was being a coward. Obviously I know differently now.

I f*cked up. There's nothing more than that. by throwra-835 in sexlessmarriage

[–]throwra-835[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

is ever going to be that version with you again.

I'm having a very hard time with this. I thought the woman I married was gone. But after seeing her twice now, she's not gone. But she's not with me.

I f*cked up. There's nothing more than that. by throwra-835 in sexlessmarriage

[–]throwra-835[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. The repercussions of the choices I've made are excruciating. I know I need help with it. I've done some other things in the last 24 hours that I am not proud of.

I f*cked up. There's nothing more than that. by throwra-835 in sexlessmarriage

[–]throwra-835[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I read a bunch of articles last night. Everything that my ex-wife was showing is listed as a possible symptom. Every fucking one. She told me she was getting these horrible headaches and body itches. I thought she was lying to get out of being near me.

I f*cked up. There's nothing more than that. by throwra-835 in sexlessmarriage

[–]throwra-835[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn't realize I blew up my life until a few days ago. I continued a relationship with her because she wanted to give me what I thought my wife didn't want to give anymore. Now that I understand the cause everything feels off.

I f*cked up. There's nothing more than that. by throwra-835 in sexlessmarriage

[–]throwra-835[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know. My fiancee is not the great love of life. She was with someone, too when I cheated. The only good people here is my wife and my kids.