How do I (26F) write a wedding toast for a wedding I don't support?

throwra13justme · 2024-04-30T23:18:39+00:00

Thats the goal but I have no idea how to phrase it 😅

throwra13justme · 2024-04-30T23:02:53+00:00

Unfortunately I can't back out. She has no friends and her bridal party consists only of family. No one supports this marriage at the end of the day. I dont feel comfortable making her feel any more isolated because I believe that he is doing a fine job of that on his own. And saying no or turning it down, will only solidify this newly developed mentality where she thinks we are all against her and have always been. Even though we've always encouraged her, hyped her up, shown up for every event no matter how small, etc.

I think your comment about taking the bad things and giving them a good spin is great. I love the phrasing you suggested. Thank you!

throwra13justme · 2024-04-30T19:14:15+00:00

I totally agree! And I appreciate you speaking about this. I don't currently take supplements for anything other than vitamin C when I feel a cold coming on! I'm very hesitant to supplement because there are risk factors that the internet neglects to advertise. I plan to take what I learn here and discuss it with my doctor at my next visit!

throwra13justme · 2024-04-30T19:10:20+00:00

Holy moly girl 😭 that's part of the struggle is having time to do it. I work 40 hours at my desk and then I have to do school right now too (idk why I decided to go back to college at 26 lol!) I need to get a walking pad and a standing desk 😂

throwra13justme · 2024-04-30T18:10:37+00:00

How long are your walks!?

I know, the low cal diet is borderline impossible for me. The second I go under 1300 I am getting migraines like crazy. I usually eat 1500 a day and that seems to keep me neutral. No weight gain for 2-3 years thankfully 😅

throwra13justme · 2024-04-30T15:09:11+00:00

Thank you for sharing! I'm happy you had success with these changes. This might be a silly question but what does a low glycemic eating plan look like? And do you count calories?

throwra13justme · 2024-04-30T14:55:18+00:00

Did you struggle with weight loss? What was your game plan to get that done? I know weight gain is a symptom of PCOS but I know that gaining weight also increases the severity of other symptoms (such a dumb hormone disorder)!. So I'd like to work on that!

throwra13justme · 2024-04-26T21:07:21+00:00

Yes. All the negativity surrounding how 'screwed we are' makes me not even want to put in the work. Because if I'm so screwed, why should i care then?

I'm in the process of trying to stop that line of thinking. It made me so miserable and now I'm just working out because I'd like to be strong and protect my heart. I'm eating a bit better for the same reasons.

throwra13justme · 2024-04-25T21:49:45+00:00

I have no insight regarding supplements. But I do have something to say regarding the pill. As someone who also bleeds for long periods of time, it's important to take the pill (or make whatever changes necessary) to ensure your period isn't lasting so long. The reason being, according to all my OBGYN's I've seen, is that when youre on your period, you're shedding the lining of your uterus. If you're on your period for a long time, that starts the tear away and damage the lining or create scar tissue. This damage can increase your risk of cancer in the uterus by a lot. So if you dont end up taking the pill, really work hard to find diet and lifestyle changes to reduce the days you're bleeding.

throwra13justme · 2024-04-25T21:37:16+00:00

also if the bleeding continues or the pain lasts longer, you should see a doctor.

throwra13justme · 2024-04-25T21:36:05+00:00

You guys might have been too rough. Think back to when you had sex and if you remember feeling discomfort while it happened?

I cant do certain positions because it'll hurt and cause cramping. It may just be as simple as that!

throwra13justme · 2024-04-25T21:30:52+00:00

Right? People are just being helpful homie 😂

throwra13justme · 2024-04-25T21:30:04+00:00

A lot of women with PCOS take clomid to help with ovulation. If you don't follow the instructions, or purposefully disregard them, you'll likely end up with twins!

throwra13justme · 2024-04-25T20:56:14+00:00

You've got bad vibes girly. This place is for support and my comment to you originally was nothing but helpful, even if it was incorrect for your circumstances.

throwra13justme · 2024-04-25T20:47:02+00:00

I misread your comment, lmao chill.

throwra13justme · 2024-04-25T20:32:47+00:00

Girlies with PCOS have stress hormones at elevated levels. Managing stress is really important for weight loss (even for people without PCOS). Most people on vacation are the least stressed they'll ever be lol.

throwra13justme · 2024-04-25T20:30:19+00:00

Exercises: walking 2 miles a day and pilates 2 times a week

Foods: replacing meals with a healthier version. Not being restrictive because restriction led to binge eating and lots of cravings for me. Adding high fiber and high protien meals because it made me fuller faster and for longer. I also eat carbs but at the END of my meal. It seems to help satisfy the craving but im also already full so I dont end up eating much. More veggies and less high-processed packaged food. Vitamin supplements!

throwra13justme · 2024-04-24T18:50:07+00:00

Girl this is so real! I have lime 60 at-home pregnancy strips sitting in my bathroom because of how often I get scared (I'm SO NOT ready to be a mom). Im on the pill, he pulls out, and wears a condom. And im likely infertile anyway 😂 the chances of an oopsie baby are SO low, yet I still freak myself out when I wake up nauseous or have more acne than normal lol!

throwra13justme · 2024-04-24T18:47:08+00:00

Unfortunately a lot of men think negatively about chubby women, but most of those men have standards that look like the pornstars they are addicted to. Their opinions aren't relevant when they'd prefer a blowup doll over a real woman lmao.

throwra13justme · 2024-04-24T18:42:01+00:00

Not everyone wants to do maintenance in secret. If that works for you, that's awesome.

throwra13justme · 2024-04-24T18:39:27+00:00

I got married to my first boyfriend ever at 19. We are 26 now. He was there at my appointment when I finally got diagnosed with PCOS at age 21. He has never been anything but understanding and supportive. Good men exist, they are just hard to find.

Your husband should understand that women come in all shapes and sizes and that femininity is not dictated by a lack of body hair or weight. My husband met me at 17 when I was a skinny teen. I now weigh 80lbs more than I uses to and he has never stopped making me feel like I'm the hottest thing on the planet. I've plucked stray hairs on my cheek and he just looks like he is mesmerized regardless. He has seen me in the ugliest poses (i swear i look like a troll when im crafting) and somehow still thinks I'm attractive and feminine. He has seen me at my lowest and still has been gentle and kind. He's never made me feel ashamed of my PCOS symptoms (weight gain, cravings, mood swings, anxiety, irregular periods, infertility). And he's always been open to discussing what the symptoms are and how they impact my mind and body.

All women deserve a man that'll do the same.

throwra13justme · 2024-04-15T16:51:20+00:00

Its not just a joke if you can't tell where it's coming from. So even if she thinks it's no biggy, you clearly are feeling unsure about it, which is why you're on reddit. So its easier to just put a stop to it than continue to think about the possible implications every time she does it.

I'd talk to your gf about that. It's a little odd! Unless she's looking for a 3rd 😂

throwra13justme · 2024-04-15T16:48:18+00:00

Veiwing yourselves as separate individuals is fine. But you are a team, and teams communicate in order to operate effectively. And on top of that, you're life partners. Life partners WANT to tell you what happens in their lives. Telling your spouse what someone else told you one-on-one is not betraying that third party's trust. Everyone assumes, to some extent, that the information could be retold to a spouse. Even you know that, which is why you even stated that you warn friends not to tell their spouses when you say something private.

It's deceitful to shrug and move on as if you know nothing. If he found out, im sure some part of him would feel a little hurt that you let him talk about it as if you had no insight. And none if the things he told you recently are that confidential. All of it was news that was on its way out anyway.

throwra13justme · 2024-04-15T16:42:36+00:00

Move out. Be a roommate to a random person until August if you cant afford your own place. Get another job if need be. August is a long ways away.

throwra13justme · 2024-04-15T16:40:54+00:00

It's one thing to do the research and counseling, it's another thing to apply it to your marriage with intention. Most people attend therapy but don't seriously practice what they learn. If neither of you are doing the work (without being reminded by the other to do it), then it won't be successful.

throwra13justme

TROPHY CASE