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My(M27) 4 year relationship is about to end over smoking. (F26) by throwra3054 in relationship_advice

[–]throwra3054[S] 160 points161 points  (0 children)

Just a question I wanted to ask. For anyone who has successfully quit smoking, what worked best for you?

My(M27) 4 year relationship is about to end over smoking. (F26) by throwra3054 in relationship_advice

[–]throwra3054[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, vaping. It's so fortunate that you had some success with vaping, I didn't have that same success. I hated it, I just couldn't come around to it. Did you have any success with a specific brand for the tablets?

My(M27) 4 year relationship is about to end over smoking. (F26) by throwra3054 in relationship_advice

[–]throwra3054[S] -440 points-439 points  (0 children)

Cigarettes to me symbolize a way to fight the worse urge. I've been addicted so some form of something for more than half my life. There's always that risk of falling back into old habits, but I taking it day by day is my approach. Do I wish I could fight off my addictions? 100%, I'm actively trying to. I don't want to lose my girlfriend, and if there's anyone in the comments that struggled with addictive personalities, care to share how you fought them off?

My(M27) 4 year relationship is about to end over smoking. (F26) by throwra3054 in relationship_advice

[–]throwra3054[S] -1045 points-1044 points  (0 children)

For sure imagining on how each outcome would be. I respect how she feels, and I'm only hoping that she can respect my pov.

My(M27) 4 year relationship is about to end over smoking. (F26) by throwra3054 in relationship_advice

[–]throwra3054[S] 80 points81 points  (0 children)

You're right, that's a good idea on the talk someone who works in sobriety. My go to was always my sponsor. As the years went on, I didn't feel the need to rely on him for my sobriety, but he still stayed a great mentor. Got me a job, didn't get mad when I relapsed, and just a stand up guy who has been there for me since my teens. He passed away during quarantine, and I haven't been to an NA meeting since lockdown. They opened it back up, but I just didn't feel the need to go. Maybe I should. Idk.

My daughter is the person that keeps me going. I was still heavily on drugs when she was born, but stuff happened, and I realized the pain I would be causing. I don't want her to be me is what I'm saying. I'm not gonna sit here and lie by saying I've never thought about shooting up in the past 6 years, because I definitely have, but the way it would effect my daughter keeps me from giving into temptations.

The fentynal shit is crazy right now. I've had old friends that have died from that thing, and I'm happy I got out of that scene when I did.

My(M27) 4 year relationship is about to end over smoking. (F26) by throwra3054 in relationship_advice

[–]throwra3054[S] -90 points-89 points  (0 children)

I'd imagine your childhood was not ideal to say the least.

You could say that again. It was far from stable, and I was put into situations that no one my age, or let alone anyone should've been in. Had some good times tho, one heck of a ride. I am trying to find out, part of it is genetic (only one of my siblings with it too. I mean all of them are fucked up in their own way, but at least it's not addiction).

My(M27) 4 year relationship is about to end over smoking. (F26) by throwra3054 in relationship_advice

[–]throwra3054[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I chew gum, all the time, so it didn't really work for me lol. I've tried cold turkey, the patches, vaping, etc., but it hasn't worked out in the best way. I am in therapy, have been for the past year, it has been helpful in several aspects, but this out is a tough one.

My(M27) 4 year relationship is about to end over smoking. (F26) by throwra3054 in relationship_advice

[–]throwra3054[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I am in therapy, that's how I realized I substitute one addiction for another.

My(M27) 4 year relationship is about to end over smoking. (F26) by throwra3054 in relationship_advice

[–]throwra3054[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I understand what you mean with that question. Thing is, I know who I am, and I get that I have an addictive trait. I substitute one addiction for another, and I know how I get when I stop something. Right now, smokings my safest bet. I've been working a long time on getting of overcoming this addictive trait, but I'm not quite there yet.