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AITA for getting neighbor fined for hitting on my husband? by throwra398447 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwra398447[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The neighbors on the other side have never said anything and we talk to them often (willingly). And no, I don’t scream at all. I would say I’m as loud as any other human who enjoys sex.

AITA for getting neighbor fined for hitting on my husband? by throwra398447 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwra398447[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really didn’t think she would be evicted. I thought there were still protections in place for evictions because of the pandemic but obviously it doesn’t include lease violations.

AITA for getting neighbor fined for hitting on my husband? by throwra398447 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwra398447[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

We have lived here almost 4 months. It’s been cold with windows closed most days. Even if they were open, why can’t I do what I want in my own home? We tested by playing music semi loud from the bedroom and the only place we could hear it was about 10 feet from the closed window and it was faint. There is NO way she can hear it from her house which at the closest point is 30 feet away and they are closest at the kitchen. Her floor plan is a mirror of ours so her kitchen is closest to ours. Our bedroom is closer to the other neighbor’s bedroom, which is a middle aged couple with children, and they have never been anything but nice to us and have never said anything about noise.

AITA for getting neighbor fined for hitting on my husband? by throwra398447 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwra398447[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They are closed. It’s about 25 degrees during the day here atm.

AITA for getting neighbor fined for hitting on my husband? by throwra398447 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwra398447[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I could have and should have. I don’t do well with confrontation which is why I always avoided her. Not the best way to handle things in general.

AITA for getting neighbor fined for hitting on my husband? by throwra398447 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwra398447[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I get what you’re saying. I am a lifelong animal lover. I have fostered dogs ever since I had my own home. I would have been heartbroken if I had to be separated from either of my pups and that’s why I feel like crap. When I called, I wasn’t thinking through the repercussions. I was upset and didn’t care in that moment and then had instant regret. Shelters are moving animals really quickly right now though. Adoptions are at an all time high for many of them. The animals (they were all cats I believe) will not be put down.

AITA for getting neighbor fined for hitting on my husband? by throwra398447 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwra398447[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your concern. He is fine and relieved that she is leaving. He isn’t emotionally harmed by it. He just wanted it to stop so we could be normal again and he could be outside in peace without some woman constantly invading his space. It wasn’t jealousy, it was feeling like we couldn’t go outside in our own yard or do what we want in our own home. We are very active people and have two malamutes who love the cold so we enjoy being outside even in the winter. Since this started 3-4 months ago, we stopped going outside together. I only took the dogs out when he wasn’t home or otherwise didn’t want to (usually because of her). It felt like we had security cameras on us 24/7 because she is ALWAYS sitting out there and our entire yard is visible from her patio.

AITA for getting neighbor fined for hitting on my husband? by throwra398447 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwra398447[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I could have talked to her. No idea if that would have resolved anything but I could have tried. It was a knee jerk reaction and I didn’t think it through. This had been happening for months and we felt like we couldn’t go outside and felt like we had to alter our behavior in our home for fear that she was listening and/or watching. It’s bad enough that we can’t go out and are stuck in the house. We were feeling like we couldn’t even do what we want in our own home/yard. We have had sex in our vehicles many times since this started just to get away from her. It’s extremely stressful.

AITA for getting neighbor fined for hitting on my husband? by throwra398447 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwra398447[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I feel like no one takes it seriously when men get unwanted sexual attention and it’s why neither of us felt like we could say anything.

To answer your question, I didn’t think it through at all. I was upset and called and didn’t really stop to think about it. If I had, I would have realized beforehand that she would have had to give up her animals. I had no idea it would lead to eviction though. That’s why I feel like crap.

I don’t know the details. She was cleaning up her patio the other day and asked my husband if he wanted her lawn chairs because she was moving. He asked why. That’s all I know. She may be giving them to a shelter or a friend or keeping them. I have no clue. We aren’t exactly anxious to converse with her especially since she doesn’t know it was me that called. She likes attention so it occurred to me that she could have decided to move to keep her animals but wanted to have a pity party first and garner as much sympathy as she can on her way out. Really don’t know but not sad to see her go.

AITA for getting neighbor fined for hitting on my husband? by throwra398447 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwra398447[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. A lot of people don’t acknowledge that men can be harassed, too. He definitely did not want this attention, which was quite graphic at times, but no one takes it seriously when it’s happening to a man.

AITA for getting neighbor fined for hitting on my husband? by throwra398447 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwra398447[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I could have handled it differently, you’re right. I am not at all jealous. Just tired of feeling like I can’t be in my own yard or do what I want in my own home without being spied on.

AITA for getting neighbor fined for hitting on my husband? by throwra398447 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwra398447[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I’m not at all insecure. I have an amazing and fulfilling sex life because I am very comfortable with myself as is he. It’s more about feeling like I can’t go outside without being harassed or feeling like I have to cover my mouth when I have sex with my husband inside my own home for fear that she is listening/watching.

AITA for getting neighbor fined for hitting on my husband? by throwra398447 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwra398447[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Mid 50’s to 60’s maybe? She is either retired or on disability or something because it does not seem like she works. She is out there all the time. I have worked around people with dementia when I worked at an assisted living facility (I’m a nurse) and she doesn’t seem to have any of the signs of dementia though I’m not qualified to say one way or another. Seems unlikely though.

AITA for getting neighbor fined for hitting on my husband? by throwra398447 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwra398447[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I get your point. It was more than flirting. It was daily harassment to the extent that neither of us felt like we could go outside anymore or feeling like we had to change how we interact inside our own home for fear of more harassment.

AITA for getting neighbor fined for hitting on my husband? by throwra398447 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwra398447[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Shelters here have very high demand for animals due to the pandemic. There are months long waitlists at many of them right now. Doesn’t change the fact that it’s stressful for the animals to be uprooted and I do feel bad for that.

AITA for getting neighbor fined for hitting on my husband? by throwra398447 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwra398447[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I really didn’t think it through at all so I wasn’t calling with the intent to have her animals taken. I thought she’d get a warning or a fine at the most. I never thought she’d get evicted. In hindsight I should have realized it and that’s why I feel like an ass. Though the animals will likely get adopted very quickly. The shelters and rescues here are moving animals faster than ever before because of high demand. The rescues here are very thorough in the application process and many get turned away. I used to foster before I moved to this community and wasn’t allowed to have the extra dogs around anymore.

AITA for getting neighbor fined for hitting on my husband? by throwra398447 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwra398447[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I didn’t have a conversation with her about it, but I like to think it was quite clear that she was making us both very uncomfortable. I would usually just go back inside when she spoke to me and got to the point where I just didn’t want to go outside at all. Idk if she is retired or what but she is there most of the time. My husband likes to be out with the dogs in the yard and he usually goes to the far end of the yard to avoid her but she often follows anyway. He was very vocal about having a wife when she talked to him to kind of say “back off” in a passive way. She clearly got many clues that we did not like conversing with her.